Snowmobiling Can Save the Olympics

Summary

The article advocates for the inclusion of snowmobiling in the Winter Olympics to boost viewership and excitement due to its speed, loudness, and cultural appeal, despite current Olympic regulations that prohibit sports involving mechanical constructions.

Abstract

The author argues that snowmobiling could revitalize the Winter Olympics, which have seen a significant drop in opening ceremony viewership. The sport's high speeds, loud engines, and association with a rugged, boisterous culture, including alcohol consumption and the occasional brawl, are presented as attractions that could draw a wider audience. Celebrity endorsements and the potential for extreme sports crossovers, like involving the World of Outlaws, are also seen as beneficial. However, the article acknowledges that snowmobiling's lack of an international governing body, limited global practice, and the Olympic rule against mechanical sports are significant barriers to its inclusion in the Games.

Opinions

The Winter Olympics lacks the mass appeal of mainstream sports and entertainment, with even niche sports like curling outshining it.
Snowmobiling is an exciting sport that could add a much-needed adrenaline rush to the Winter Olympics, with its fast speeds and loud engines.
The sport's culture, which includes alcohol consumption and a penchant for fights, adds to its appeal and could attract a different demographic of viewers and advertisers.
Celebrities and high-profile individuals, such as George Clooney and Bruce Springsteen, have shown interest in curling, indicating potential interest in snowmobiling if it were an Olympic sport.
The author suggests that the inclusion of snowmobiling could lead to the involvement of other extreme sports entities, like the World of Outlaws, further increasing the sport's appeal.
The article points out that snowmobiling's absence from the Olympics is due to strict rules, including the need for an international governing body and widespread global participation, as well as the Olympics' ban on sports involving mechanical constructions.

It is loud and wowsers

Are you still on the fence? Wikimedia Commons

Winter Olympics opening ceremony viewership down 43% from 2018

The Winter Olympics is not the Big Bang Theory of sports. Generally, Property Brothers give it stiff competition. Curling is the most interesting sport and attracts lovable eccentrics like:

Calgary’s Paul Gowsell , who was dubbed the “rebel of the curling world” for his long hair and penchant for wearing plaid pants during games.

Celebrities love curling too including George Clooney, Bruce Springsteen, Toby Keith, and British race car driver Dario Franchitti. But it’s not enough to give the Winter Olympics real OOMPH. Too much snow sliding and bobsleds.

This is why I propose adding snowmobiling to the lineup. Why?

Snowmobiles are fast: The average highest speed for snowmobiles depends on the model but ranges around 95 miles per hour to 120 mph. The world’s record is 320 mph by a “G Force One.”

Snowmobiles are loud: Older models exceeded 100 decibels from fifty feet away. That’s like a chainsaw. Newer ones are down to 80 decibels. None of this whispery tea-drinking figure skate announcing. Grab a chaw and holler Bucko.

Snowmobiling often involves mass consumption of alcoholic beverages and therefore is perfect for advertisers. They even attract their own stable of DUI lawyers! These two-fisted attorneys advertise: Tough Snowmobiling While Intoxicated Defense

Sometimes things get crazy and there are fights. “(It was) a wild and crazy Friday Night Thunder program that included everything from multiple crashes, high-profile fistfights, and interesting finishes.” When was the last time you saw a snowboarding fight? I mean those guys are all friends and probably hang out together behind the bowling alley and scarf some righteous weed.

You could get the World of Outlaws guys involved. Those sprint car races!

So what is the issue? Let’s start it up tomorrow.

ATVhelper.com gives a cogent explanation:

First of all, snowmobiling doesn’t have an active international association that supervises the sport.

Secondly, it is not practiced in 75 countries on four continents by men. This is the minimum requirement. Not much snowmobiling in Yemen.

As for the popularity of the Games and the advocacy of their values, snowmobiling could — if accepted — satisfy these requirements.

But then we come to the elimination rule — sports using mechanical constructions (such as cars, motorcycles, or snowmobiles) are banned from the Olympics, regardless of the other criteria.

So not only no Snowmobiles but no

Motorcycles On Ice — Xtreme International Ice Racing

or Car Shredding on Frozen Lakes

Sadly those Burly Red-faced guys in snowsuits will have to explode eardrums elsewhere. But don’t you want to see the Jamaican snowmobile team?

Snowmobiling Can Save the Olympics

It is loud and wowsers

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