FLASH FICTION | TANTALIZING FAIRY TALE | MICRO MONDAY
Snow White and the Seven Meth Head Dwarfs
They loved sniffing the mushrooms they found in their cave, but Snow White was their most potent drug
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The Seven Dwarfs of fairy tale lore were a hard working bunch. They worked from the crack of dawn until dusk in a mine to put bread on their table.
All work and no play though would make their lives dull and dreary. So they started sampling some glowing mushrooms they discovered deep in a cave.
All of a sudden Grumpy lost his grumpiness, Sleepy slept less, Dopey started growing a beard, and Doc’s latent Mad Doctor awoke. Only Happy would not touch the stuff.
One morning, when they were stoned like rocks, someone knocked on the door of their humble cottage. They barely ever got visitors.
Bashful answered the door. In true animation fashion, his eyes and heart popped out of their sockets and chest by what he saw.
It was a young, tall and quite beautiful woman. Jaws dropped to the floor, Dopey almost lost his few facial hairs, and everyone else but their leader Doc lost their shit.
“Please kind gents! Can you help me? The Evil Queen is after me!” the maiden said. “The animals led me to your cottage. They said I’d be safe here.”
“Please come in Miss…” Doc said.
“Snow White. Nice to meet you.”
All dwarfs but Doc acted like fools who’d never seen a woman. Well, some never had. Female dwarfs do not exactly grow on trees, and they only interacted with a few humans who bought their diamonds.
Snow White soon brought joy into the lives of the seven dwarfs, along with quite a few wet dreams. Eventually everyone, including Doc, started having sexual fantasies about her.
Since they lacked the guts to act on them they started consuming more shrooms. This let them do naughty things with her in their dreams.
One morning though they forgot a cup of shrooms at the kitchen before going to work. Snow White thought it was meant for tea, so she brewed some tea with it.
Since she was unused to drugs the tea hit her hard. She started seeing visions of the Evil Queen pursuing her, fear gripped her heart and she collapsed.
When the dwarfs came back they panicked. She had a weak pulse and was barely breathing. They noticed the half-empty shroom cup.
“Holy crap guys, she took our shit! Our dwarven bodies are hardy and can take it, but this is an unsullied maiden who’s probably never even had wine. What do we do?” Sneezy said.
“This is our chance guys! I say we exploit it. It might be the only way she wakes up!” Bashful said.
“Our chance to do what? You’re not thinking…” Grumpy asked.
“We’re all virgin here, including her and Doc. No one gets laid in fairy tales! We should break that rule!” Dopey said, as he and some others started fondling their privates.
“I think you’ve had too many shrooms.” Doc said. “If anyone touches her I will castrate them with my axe. What we need is an antidote.”
At that moment the Evil Queen, disguised as an old hag, knocked on their door. She was holding a shiny apple, which she said could grant all wishes. The naive dwarfs took it to cure Snow White.
They wished she’d be cured before letting her have a bite, and surprisingly she was. The poison somehow counteracted the hallucinogens, so she was soon back on her feet.
This tale features no Prince, and the Huntsman was off-screen. Snow White remained with the seven dwarfs, whom she started calling her seven princes. Over time she sampled them all, though fully consensually.
As for the Evil Queen? She married her Magic Mirror, which lied she was the fairest of them all and that Snow died. It kept lying until she became a true old hag and died. The Mirror never breathed a word.
— The End
Written while listening to Rammstein’s Sonne, which inspired this tale (it’s age restricted and cannot be embedded).
Another fairy tale Nikolaos Skordilis shamelessly turned lewd:
And a flash tale by Nevena Pascaleva I enjoyed:
