PROMPT: SECRET

Sneaking into the Most Exclusive Club at Harvard

A Naughty Nerd Adventure

The story depicted here is a work of fiction, probably. I mean some parts are real and others are made up. It’s up to you to decide which is which. But all of it is inspired by The Naughty Nerd story by Clara.

Lucy and I sat sprawled on my white fluffy comforter, naked and warm with a post-coital glow. With her head on my chest, she asked me to read her one of my stories.

“I have a few unfinished stories that need a little more time, but Clara just wrote one you should hear. May I read it to you?”

“I love the feel of the deep vibrations in your chest as read to me.”

“This one is about a sex club at none other than Harvard University.”

She nuzzles in and I read her the story. At the end of the story, I think that she might be inspired by the words and consider round two, but instead, she pops up and looks at me with intent green eyes and sex hair.

“A sex club at Harvard! We should GO!”

Oh, I have seen this face on her before — the one where there is no telling her no. Moments later we are in the car bounding east on the Massachusettes Turnpike towards Cambridge. My science work and the annual Boston Calling concerts have beckoned me to Harvard before but I haven’t yet been to the library.

Lucy is my co-pilot and is skillfully working her phone as we drive.

“Shit! Google says there are twenty-nine Harvard libraries. Which one?”

I have to think that they wouldn’t put it in the Divinity Library unless the Holy Spirit is handing out enlightened orgasms.

“Widener seems to be the main library. Wanna start there?” Oh yes. We are going to have some fun.

We catch a break with a parking spot on Mass Ave, and stroll past the ivy-covered buildings: Adams House, Quincy House, Currier, Cabot. It feels like a Harry Potter scene. Crimson Veritas banners hang from the Chapel reminding us that we are at the oldest university in America. Veritas — Truth.

Harvard clubs are infamous for selectivity. But what we seek is not exclusive like the Porcellian Club — it is so secret that you won’t find it on any University tour, only whispered in the hallways. We sneak past the guard at the library door and wander around the library looking for clues that will bring us to the Naughty Nerd.

A student with an Astrophysics textbook caught my eye as we approached the elevator and we hopped on together.

“Which floor?” she asked, her hand hovering over the crimson buttons and revealing a tattoo of a penny on her forearm.

“Basement, please.” I said.

We rode together in silence and when we got off the elevator we turned right and “Penny” seemed to just disappear.

Rows and rows of bookcases held the stories of thousands. This place was massive. Scanning down the rows of bookcases, one seemed different. What is that?

“Look at the carving! That is definitely the way. Look at the yonic leaves — you can’t tell me that doesn’t look like ovaries and a vulva. But the letters don’t match. Looks more like L and D.” Lucy was oozing joy at her discovery. None of the other rows looked like this and she knew she was onto something. She is at her sexiest when she is deep in thought.

“You know, when I was in high school I had to take Latin. We used to look up dirty words because Latin felt boring to such young students. Naughty is a new social concept so that word wouldn’t have existed back then, but sexy did. And the Latin word for sexy is Lubinosis.” I was in full professor mode but Lucy is a quick study and grabbed the reigns.

“And Discipulus is a student! Lubinosis Discipulus is a sexy student, in other words, a Naughty Nerd! L- D!” She exclaimed loud enough that a young woman with an impossibly short skirt who was stacked like the books she carried turned our way to shush us.*

We slipped into the stacks to hide our embarrassment and I kissed her right then. Surrounded by all of the wisdom of these texts, this woman continued to amaze me. We heard a click and explored deeper into the musty stacks. We saw another carving and then another. It felt like we were close.

Then in front of us stood a bookcase where one of the books stood out among all of the musty old tomes. This one was shiny and oceanic blue. No dust had settled on its spine. It stood tall and erect, waiting to be perused.

Turning my head so I could read the faded title out loud, “Mulier vivit in via sua (A woman lives in her own way)” and rubbed my fingers along the spine.

We heard a click and the bookcase slid open to reveal a door and carved into the thick mahogany door was the LD logo. A speakeasy window immediately opened and Penny’s cat-like eyes peered out at us.

“Hey Rhobeau. And you must be Lucy. We’ve been waiting for you. Welcome to the Naughty Nerd.”

*Loved this line so much from Clara’s original story that I had to use it myself. Check out her very original tale.