Smile: A Guide for South-Americans in Slavic Europe and Slavs in South-America
An innocent smile is enough to make people think you are not taking them seriously.
Smiling may look like a trivial gesture for most of my kind. Born in the Brazilian countryside, I learned from the beginning that it was not weird to smile to strangers in the streets. I am not talking about Joker-Style creepy laughs, but about those gracious expressions of friendliness, usually accompanied by a nod. We salute our neighbors, co-workers and, on a good day, anyone that crosses our way.
The same applied to the first country that I lived after leaving Brazil — Chile — and to others I visited in the region.
But then I moved to Poland.
One day, one of the girls that worked with me arrived at her shift, and I greeted her as usual. Cheers Dominika, everything fine? She said yes, and asked how if everything was fine with me too. My answer was the standard: Everything great!
After my answer, came another question. One that I couldn’t answer because it was the first time someone asked it to me.
So, why are you smiling? Some good news?
Following the surprise of hearing such inquiry, I just answered, “Oh, not really. But nothing bad happened either”
Since this day, I paid more attention to the facial expression of people around me. This led me to conclude that paying attention to this kind of physical and behavioral nuances is very helpful when adapting to a new country. I explained that in detail in my book Moving Out, Working Abroad and Keeping Your Sanity.
In Poland, people do not smile unless they have a reason to do so. A good reason to do so. The same characteristic I saw in other Slavic countries I visited. Slovakia, Serbia, Montenegro or Russia, just to name a few.
I am not saying that Slavs are always gloomy or cheerless. A joyful young couple talking during a walk or a dad playing with his daughter probably will laugh or even giggle. However, outside those moments, their facial expression is marked by seriousness.
What means to smile excessively in Slavic countries
People may misunderstand expressions of joy. To smile during a formal conversation can be seen as not taking it seriously. One time the grandma of my wife thought I was not believing her story just because I had a smile on my face.
In other situations, people can just think that you are a fool or have some psychological problem, as a Russian proverb says:
Smiling for no reason is a sign of stupidity.
But in South-America, you need a reason for not smiling.
The same reflections I had in Poland may happen to Slavs when they hear the opposite in South-America.
Did something happen, Boris*? Why are you so serious?
*Yes, Boris is a very cliché Slavic name and I am happy to use it as an example.
If you adopt a Russian-style sober grimace in countries like Brazil or Colombia, there is a good chance you will confuse people. Some will think that you are deeply dissatisfied with life. Work colleagues will suppose that you are looking for a new job, and your mother-in-law will think you are feeling bad, or hungry.
Remember that most of the reasons for cultural shock can be summarized in 4 fields, and humor is one of them.
A last-advice, dear Slavs: it does not always mean flirting!
One misconception that some Europeans have in South-America is to confuse the polite smile given to strangers as hidden interests or even flirting. It is not flirting. Except, of course, if he or she also asks for your phone number and invite for a drink later.
If this is the case and you accept, remember to smile back :)
Author: Levi Borba, founder of Colligere Expat Consultancy, former RM specialist for the world´s greatest airline, writer of the books Moving Out, Living Abroad and Keeping Your Sanity and Budget Travelers, Digital Nomads & Expats: The Ultimate Guide. You can check some of his articles here.
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