Smash, Crush, Destroy

Trying to Be Your Higher Power

A lot of our pain, whether we can admit it or not, is self-inflicted. The movement through life offers joy and pain. These are both fleeting. Why do we tend to let go of the joy quicker than we hold onto the pain? It is our nature to be vicious and stubborn with things that trouble us and gloss over our pleasures. We feel the pleasure and want more almost immediately. It is our curse. We eat a delicious cookie and before the crumbs are dissolved, we reach for another. We pound down a beer and crack open another before the bottle touches the counter. After being intimate, we schedule the next opportunity and move on to the next task.

How Can We Improve Our Self-Defeating Cycles?

The Serenity Prayer helps millions of people every day.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

Now, don’t run away. I know anytime something is mentioned that is related to a 12 Steps Program, the sprinting commences. It is a wonderful program, but not the main focus of my thoughts today.

I am offering the concept of why the idea of a higher power can be helpful and how it can also screw us up. I’m not offering any specific tradition or notion of a religious deity, but I do respect other’s views.

We Think That We Can Control Everything

We just can’t. I’m sorry. Some of us smoke 5 packs of smokes a day (people still smoke?) and get no diseases. Others eat kale, quinoa, and ingest nothing unhealthy and get lung cancer.

We often don’t try to control the things that are in our control. Things that we choose to do versus being pushed upon us. Emotions are tops on that list.

We choose things that hurt us and then claim that they are not in our control. The Addiction model tries to address this, so I am not attacking those that struggle with addiction. I have compassion and understanding.

With addiction, you offer up to a power greater than yourself. We fail when we twist that notion and proclaim ourselves as the higher power.

Survive vs Thrive

Believing that we can mold everything to meet our desires by our own hands is what causes the most strife. Claiming that we are conquerors and can smash our way through life is what brings us the most chaos. Believing we are all-powerful is flawed thinking. If you don’t get what you want, then you’re a failure. The Internal Critic steps in and starts stomping. This is at the heart of driving yourself down and a barrier to peace.

There's a distinct difference between surviving and thriving. It’s okay to persevere and be resilient, but you won’t make the most enlightening gains until you understand that you cannot be your own higher power. It kind of defeats the purpose. It’s a question of balance and precision. Do you want to be right or have peace?

What Do I Do Now That I’ve Realized I Am Not the Higher Power?

In your mind, want something, but act like you don’t need it. If you aren’t ever enough with something, you’ll never be enough without it. Believe me when I say that as an actor living in constant rejectionland, I get it!

We feel our most pain when we think we are the higher power, the supreme controller of our destiny. This comes from wanting to be omnipotent, benevolent, and thinking you can adjust yourself solely by yourself. You cannot. You are a journey of thought. A being of matter. We may feel like superior sentient beings, but we are mostly energy; electric impulses prone to trying to control everything to meet our liking and comfort.

Try to bathe in your joy and pain equally and find peace with things that you cannot change, fuel yourself when it is time for action, and build the insight to determine the distinction.

Josh Kiev is an actor, chef, and is working on being less controlling…since we kind of… can’t!

For it is only by connecting with the world at large, learning from the world, and sharing with the world that you and I will be able to make a genuine difference to the world. This is my life’s purpose. Take care for now. I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for your time. Connect or Perish.