Six Ways to Reclaim your Holiday Joy

Six self-care methods to nurture ourselves through these busy, festive days.

Aren’t the holidays supposed to get easier? After all, the children are older. I don’t have to struggle to get them nestled in their beds. So why am I exhausted, and I collapse at the end of the night — with nary a vision of sugarplums to be had?

The frantic holiday season should be peaceful and pleasant. I’m not up at midnight assembling bicycles and wagons anymore. The tales of Santa belong to the past…although, the children haven’t rejected the Christmas stockings stuffed with goodies galore.

They dress themselves now and (mostly) monitor their own homework. Yet, who is it that still ends up with the lion’s share of the Thanksgiving and Christmas tasks?

Nope, not hubby.

It’s me!

Some tasks are deleted from my never-ending list of things to do. Teenage boys, now keen on impressing those of a girly nature, now bathe and even wash behind their ears without prompting.

However, counteracting what I don’t have to do anymore, are increased duties. Ageing parents need more help. Mom always used to host the holiday meals. Now, with their declining health and their limited income since they retired, I’m the anointed one.

More cleaning.

More baking.

Wash the place mats.

Ooops, Uncle George is allergic to onions, which means making two batches of scalloped potatoes.

“What about me?” The year I lost it and stood in the living room yelling at the top of my lungs was the turning point. “Where is there time for me in here?”

I discovered six little tricks that brought back my holiday joy. They’re not new. The magic happened when I took this wise advice and actually applied it to my life.

Set Limits: I learned to set limits to the number of activities I allowed myself to get roped into. It if was something that brought me joy — I penciled it in. The others…hasta la vista, baby. There’s only so many holiday parties I can attend and keep a smile on my face. Cupcakes for class parties? I think I’ve fulfilled my quota already. I’m done with that.

Make Tradeoffs: The kids want to spend time with their friends on Christmas and not stay home with Grandpa and Grandma all day? Great! They’re more than welcome to skip out. After they help me by wrapping the gifts laid out on the bed. Hubby wants to go golfing Saturday with his buddies? Great! Have a good time! But, by the way, when I’m baking cookies Sunday afternoon, he can do the grocery shopping. Here’s a list.

Cut — Cut — Cut: This was a tough one for me to learn. We’re creatures of habit. But do we need to put up every single decoration we own? Do we really need to buy gifts for people we never see throughout the year? Do we really have to send that many cards? A friend has a delightful way she handles Christmas cards. For everyone that sends her a card during the holidays, we sends them a New Year’s note. After the rush has died down and life is more manageable. By only sending to those who sent her a card, she found that her list dwindled to almost a third of its previous length.

Meditation: Taking time during the day to quiet myself and meditate brought some much-needed peace into my life. It greatly enhanced my joy. While I have a hard time doing it every day, fitting it into my life even three or four times a week made a noticeable difference.

Yoga: A once a week yoga class calmed me down, toned me up and made me feel better overall. Healthy habits may seem insignificant, but they produce tremendous results.

Treat Yourself: We need to treat ourselves and not keep running until we’re a frazzled wreck. Take some time, once a week or every other week. Treat yourself to a pedicure or a massage. Schedule a girl’s night out for a movie or dinner. Lock the door and linger in a bubble bath with a glass of wine. Go to bed early and curl up with a good book.

We love our spouses and our children and want to give them our best. We treasure our parents and the remaining time we have with them, even as we see the days racing by. But in giving them — and the rest of the world — every ounce of what we have, we risk losing the best part of all. Ourselves.

We must value our own sanity and valiantly protect it. In taking care of ourselves, and in the process reclaiming our holiday joy, we can continue sharing our heart and laughter with those we love.

You can find me on Newsbreak

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