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Abstract

g overwhelmed by the anxiety and stress, you are probably chest breathing during the day.<h2 id="bc1f">Be present with the emotions in your body</h2>Our emotional reactions impact our bodies and can stay stuck in our bodies if we don’t process through them. The terms “tightness in our chest” or “heaviness in our guts” are real physical manifestations of our emotional reactions. Unprocessed stress and emotions can create physical problems, including muscle tightness, digestive issues, headaches, and much more serious physical issues. This is called somatization.In order to calm ourselves down and process through the emotions, we want to be present with the emotions in our bodies. Start by doing the belly breathing above, and then tune in and focus on your body. Feel your feet on the floor and your bottom on your chair. Then bring your awareness to all the different parts of your body.Now notice where in your body you are feeling your emotions. Is it tightness in your chest? Or a heaviness in your stomach? Can you feel it in your arms or in your neck? Continue to breathe and be present as you focus on feeling the emotions in your body until the feeling begins to dissipate.If you tend to disassociate or lack body awareness, it may take you a while to settle into your body and feel where your emotional reaction is. Simply continue to do this exercise each time you feel triggered, and you will gain more body awareness. This is also a good exercise to do at bedtime to help you relax.For more information on how unprocessed emotional distress impacts and remains stuck in our bodies, check out the works of Dr. Peter Levine, PhD and Dr. Bessel van der Kolk.<h2 id="5a0f">Move</h2>Run, dance, or do jumping jacks. Do whatever it takes to shake the excess energy out of your body if your sympathetic nervous system is in overdrive and wake up your body if your parasympathetic nervous system is in overdrive.If your SNS is in overdrive, your body is reacting as if you are under attack by a bear, tiger, or other wild animal. Do something to show your body you are fighting off the predator. You can even do some kickboxing to pretend you are fighting a wild animal. Or it may feel good to pretend you’re kickboxing the person or situation that triggered you. Punching and throwing pillows is another way to relieve this excess energy.These movements should only be done safely. Make sure whatever you are doing is not hurting yourself, hurting someone else, or damaging property.If your PSNS is in overdrive, the last thing you may feel like doing is moving. But you need to wake up your depressed nervous system. Discharging energy through physical movement will help with this, even if the physical movement is you standing while you swing your arms back and forth or going for a walk.Routinely engaging in physical activity will help you release the stress hormones from your nervous system and assist in preventing emotional dysregulation.<h2 id="ec70">Reach out to a friend</h2>A good conversation with a friend can feel almost magical in the way it can often lift us out of our triggered state. In person connection is best, but on the phone or on a video call works, too.Our prefrontal cortex (PFC) is responsible for our executive functioning, including focusing, decision-making and self-control. When we become triggered, our PFC functioning becomes impaired, the part of our brain called the amygdala takes over, and we lose our ability to reason. In this state, it becomes difficult for us to view a situation logically and objectively. A friend can provide us with an objective and more logical viewpoint.Also important is that we are interdependent beings who heal in relationship. Connecting with a supportive person can help us to feel safe and calm. When a supportive person engages with us and validates us, that interaction can provide us with exactly what we need to help regulate our nervous system so we can return back to our baseline state.When our stress responses are triggered, we may feel shame, even if we’re unaware shame is what we are feeling. This shame reaction may cause us to want to isolate instead of reaching out. If this is a typical response for you, it’s important to know that connection will help you to feel better even if you feel a strong urge to hide instead of to connect.Sometimes we need someone to vent to who will see, hear, accept, and see

Options

k to understand us. Sometimes we need someone to talk some sense into us and provide us with a different perspective. A friend can do both of these things and much more.<h2 id="04ba">Bilateral Tapping</h2>There is a treatment called Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR) that was developed by Dr. Francine Shapiro to decrease symptoms related to trauma. EMDR uses bilateral stimulation to help process trauma. Bilateral stimulation activates both side of the brain, which is what happens during the REM stage of sleep and is what allows our brain to process information. Bilateral stimulation also feels calming, and therefore it can be helpful to use it when we feel triggered.You want to wrap your arms across your chest so that you right hand is on your left arm near your shoulder and your left hand is on your right arm near your shoulder. You could also cross your arms across your chest and rest your palms on opposite collarbones.Then alternate by tapping each side one at a time. Continue belly breathing during this exercise and count as you tap. After tapping 20 times on each side, you can stop and assess how you feel. Continue this exercise until you feel calm.Alternatively, you can tap on your upper thighs. You would tap your right hand on your right leg and your leg hand on your left leg, breathing and counting as discussed above. This method is less noticeable and is therefore a good option to do if you find yourself triggered in a public place.If you’re interested in learning more about EMDR or finding a practitioner, you can visit <a href="http://www.emdr.com.">www.emdr.com.</a><h2 id="d2ac">Self-Havening</h2>Havening is a trauma therapy technique developed by Dr. Ronald A. Ruden. It is based on neuroscience and uses an electrochemical approach to create a rapid calming response. Havening creates a Delta wave state in the brain and releases the happy hormones of oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine.Havening can be done with someone else, including a trained practitioner, but it can also be done by yourself, which is called self-havening.Before you start, you want to engage in deep belly breathing and close your eyes. Imagine a peaceful place. Then cross your arms across your chest, putting the palms of your hands on your shoulders. Simultaneously, move your hands down each of your arms until you touch your elbows. Then start at your shoulders again and repeat the process until you feel calm.Alternatively, you can rub your palms together or rub your palms on your face.While you are performing self-havening, it helps to repeat a positive affirmation, such as:I am calmI am safePeaceHavening is also a great technique to use on an upset child, or you can teach a child to do self-havening as a coping skill to calm themselves down.You can visit <a href="http://www.havening.org">www.havening.org</a> for much more information on havening and self-havening, including videos.<h2 id="3d9c">In Conclusion</h2>When you first begin to use these techniques, you may not realize you need them until you are already well outside your window of tolerance. It therefore could take you a while to regulate your dysregulated nervous system and return to normal functioning.But if you make it a practice to engage in the above activities once you realize you are triggered, you will gain more awareness over your emotional states and begin to recognize when you are getting close to moving outside your window of tolerance. You can then use these techniques before you feel your emotions have become unmanageable.Deep breathing, becoming present with the sensations in your body, bilateral tapping, and self-havening should be practiced when you are not triggered. This will help you to become more familiar with these techniques and make it easier for you to engage in these activities while you are in a triggered state.If you continuously practice these techniques, you will hopefully be able to widen your window of tolerance, become triggered less often, and return to a regulated state faster if you do become triggered.If after using these techniques, you still struggle with emotional and nervous system dysregulation, or if you seem to frequently be going into a dysregulated state, you should seek professional assistance.</article></body>

Six Scientifically Backed Actions You Should Take When You Feel Triggered

And what happens in your body when your emotions feel overwhelming

The bad traffic on your way home from work. The fight with your partner. Your kids who are refusing to listen and go to bed. The stress of an upcoming deadline. The passive-aggressive comments of your least favorite relative at a holiday dinner. The really bad news you suddenly received.

Whatever it is, it all feels like too much, and you lose it. Your emotions overwhelm you.

You may react by blowing up, yelling, and attacking someone else. You may turn your anger inward on yourself, as your inner critic attacks you for not being good enough. You may shut down and withdraw. You may obsessively cling to and try to appease someone else, even if that person is hurting you. You may engage in impulsive, destructive, or numbing behaviors. You may react with a combination of the above.

When we feel triggered and overwhelmed by our emotions, we have moved outside of our “window of tolerance,” which is a concept developed by Dr. Dan Siegel, MD. Our window of tolerance is a measure of our emotional resilience, and it is the emotional window we operate in when our emotions feel manageable.

When our emotions feel unmanageable, our sympathetic, parasympathetic, or both nervous systems go into overdrive and send us into a fight, flight, freeze, or fawn/fold response.

Our sympathetic nervous system (SNS) is activated when we feel stressed. Our adrenal gland releases large amounts of epinephrine, which sends us into a state of hyperarousal and activates our fight-or-flight response.

Our parasympathetic nervous system (PSNS) is also known as our “rest and digest” system and is the system we normally function in when we feel relaxed. However, the PSNS can become overactive when we feel triggered and send us into a state of hypoarousal. The freeze response happens when both the SNS and PSNS are overactive. The fawn/fold response happens when the PSNS completely takes over and we collapse into a state characterized by exhaustion, numbness, depression, disassociation, and/or brain fog.

Anyone can be pushed out of their window of tolerance, but people who have experienced trauma have a much narrower window of tolerance and may be frequently or continuously dysregulated and operating outside their window of tolerance.

The tips below will help you to feel more in control of your emotional reactions and will help you return to your window of tolerance. However, if you have experienced trauma, you may need professional help to learn how to regulate your nervous system. It is best to seek the help of a trauma-informed therapist, as not all therapists are equipped to treat trauma.

Breathe

When we feel stressed or overwhelmed, one of the first things to go is our breathing. Instead of taking deep breaths into our diaphragm, we take shallow breaths into our chest. Chest breathing engages our SNS, and further increases our stress response.

If you can focus on breathing into your belly, you will engage your PSNS, and you will begin to relax. Take deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. You can also repeat an affirmation as you breathe, such as: I breathe in peace. I breathe out stress.

You may need to constantly return your focus to your breath, as it is very easy to slip back into chest breathing. But if you make focusing on your breath a practice each time you are triggered, it will become easier to stick with belly breathing.

Belly breathing can be done anywhere at any time. It should be your initial go to as soon as you realize you have moved outside of your window of tolerance or may be getting close to moving outside of the window.

It’s also great to focus on belly breathing throughout the day, as many of us routinely use chest breathing as we go through our normal daily activities, when we should be using belly breathing. If you feel you operate at an almost constant level of anxiety and stress, even if you’re not feeling overwhelmed by the anxiety and stress, you are probably chest breathing during the day.

Be present with the emotions in your body

Our emotional reactions impact our bodies and can stay stuck in our bodies if we don’t process through them. The terms “tightness in our chest” or “heaviness in our guts” are real physical manifestations of our emotional reactions. Unprocessed stress and emotions can create physical problems, including muscle tightness, digestive issues, headaches, and much more serious physical issues. This is called somatization.

In order to calm ourselves down and process through the emotions, we want to be present with the emotions in our bodies. Start by doing the belly breathing above, and then tune in and focus on your body. Feel your feet on the floor and your bottom on your chair. Then bring your awareness to all the different parts of your body.

Now notice where in your body you are feeling your emotions. Is it tightness in your chest? Or a heaviness in your stomach? Can you feel it in your arms or in your neck? Continue to breathe and be present as you focus on feeling the emotions in your body until the feeling begins to dissipate.

If you tend to disassociate or lack body awareness, it may take you a while to settle into your body and feel where your emotional reaction is. Simply continue to do this exercise each time you feel triggered, and you will gain more body awareness. This is also a good exercise to do at bedtime to help you relax.

For more information on how unprocessed emotional distress impacts and remains stuck in our bodies, check out the works of Dr. Peter Levine, PhD and Dr. Bessel van der Kolk.

Move

Run, dance, or do jumping jacks. Do whatever it takes to shake the excess energy out of your body if your sympathetic nervous system is in overdrive and wake up your body if your parasympathetic nervous system is in overdrive.

If your SNS is in overdrive, your body is reacting as if you are under attack by a bear, tiger, or other wild animal. Do something to show your body you are fighting off the predator. You can even do some kickboxing to pretend you are fighting a wild animal. Or it may feel good to pretend you’re kickboxing the person or situation that triggered you. Punching and throwing pillows is another way to relieve this excess energy.

These movements should only be done safely. Make sure whatever you are doing is not hurting yourself, hurting someone else, or damaging property.

If your PSNS is in overdrive, the last thing you may feel like doing is moving. But you need to wake up your depressed nervous system. Discharging energy through physical movement will help with this, even if the physical movement is you standing while you swing your arms back and forth or going for a walk.

Routinely engaging in physical activity will help you release the stress hormones from your nervous system and assist in preventing emotional dysregulation.

Reach out to a friend

A good conversation with a friend can feel almost magical in the way it can often lift us out of our triggered state. In person connection is best, but on the phone or on a video call works, too.

Our prefrontal cortex (PFC) is responsible for our executive functioning, including focusing, decision-making and self-control. When we become triggered, our PFC functioning becomes impaired, the part of our brain called the amygdala takes over, and we lose our ability to reason. In this state, it becomes difficult for us to view a situation logically and objectively. A friend can provide us with an objective and more logical viewpoint.

Also important is that we are interdependent beings who heal in relationship. Connecting with a supportive person can help us to feel safe and calm. When a supportive person engages with us and validates us, that interaction can provide us with exactly what we need to help regulate our nervous system so we can return back to our baseline state.

When our stress responses are triggered, we may feel shame, even if we’re unaware shame is what we are feeling. This shame reaction may cause us to want to isolate instead of reaching out. If this is a typical response for you, it’s important to know that connection will help you to feel better even if you feel a strong urge to hide instead of to connect.

Sometimes we need someone to vent to who will see, hear, accept, and seek to understand us. Sometimes we need someone to talk some sense into us and provide us with a different perspective. A friend can do both of these things and much more.

Bilateral Tapping

There is a treatment called Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR) that was developed by Dr. Francine Shapiro to decrease symptoms related to trauma. EMDR uses bilateral stimulation to help process trauma. Bilateral stimulation activates both side of the brain, which is what happens during the REM stage of sleep and is what allows our brain to process information. Bilateral stimulation also feels calming, and therefore it can be helpful to use it when we feel triggered.

You want to wrap your arms across your chest so that you right hand is on your left arm near your shoulder and your left hand is on your right arm near your shoulder. You could also cross your arms across your chest and rest your palms on opposite collarbones.

Then alternate by tapping each side one at a time. Continue belly breathing during this exercise and count as you tap. After tapping 20 times on each side, you can stop and assess how you feel. Continue this exercise until you feel calm.

Alternatively, you can tap on your upper thighs. You would tap your right hand on your right leg and your leg hand on your left leg, breathing and counting as discussed above. This method is less noticeable and is therefore a good option to do if you find yourself triggered in a public place.

If you’re interested in learning more about EMDR or finding a practitioner, you can visit www.emdr.com.

Self-Havening

Havening is a trauma therapy technique developed by Dr. Ronald A. Ruden. It is based on neuroscience and uses an electrochemical approach to create a rapid calming response. Havening creates a Delta wave state in the brain and releases the happy hormones of oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine.

Havening can be done with someone else, including a trained practitioner, but it can also be done by yourself, which is called self-havening.

Before you start, you want to engage in deep belly breathing and close your eyes. Imagine a peaceful place. Then cross your arms across your chest, putting the palms of your hands on your shoulders. Simultaneously, move your hands down each of your arms until you touch your elbows. Then start at your shoulders again and repeat the process until you feel calm.

Alternatively, you can rub your palms together or rub your palms on your face.

While you are performing self-havening, it helps to repeat a positive affirmation, such as:

I am calm

I am safe

Peace

Havening is also a great technique to use on an upset child, or you can teach a child to do self-havening as a coping skill to calm themselves down.

You can visit www.havening.org for much more information on havening and self-havening, including videos.

In Conclusion

When you first begin to use these techniques, you may not realize you need them until you are already well outside your window of tolerance. It therefore could take you a while to regulate your dysregulated nervous system and return to normal functioning.

But if you make it a practice to engage in the above activities once you realize you are triggered, you will gain more awareness over your emotional states and begin to recognize when you are getting close to moving outside your window of tolerance. You can then use these techniques before you feel your emotions have become unmanageable.

Deep breathing, becoming present with the sensations in your body, bilateral tapping, and self-havening should be practiced when you are not triggered. This will help you to become more familiar with these techniques and make it easier for you to engage in these activities while you are in a triggered state.

If you continuously practice these techniques, you will hopefully be able to widen your window of tolerance, become triggered less often, and return to a regulated state faster if you do become triggered.

If after using these techniques, you still struggle with emotional and nervous system dysregulation, or if you seem to frequently be going into a dysregulated state, you should seek professional assistance.