Six Months Of Time & Space Ended The Relationship Of Three Years
It all started with a smile and ended with heartbreak.
It was the fall of 2017 when I met her at a concert. I never believed in “falling in love at first sight”. But again, you don’t realize this until you get to experience this. Actually, it was the smile that was the problem.
When we started dating, we talked about everything in life. Be it politics, movies, sports, the crisis in the world, finance, and even the future. In short, she was the definition of the perfect companion. We have travelled to many places as well. We watched countless movies together. We belonged to different cultures, so we learned about them from each other. We grew together and became more appreciative of everything, everyone, and each other.
This went on for 3 years. I was working. She was working. Everything looked set. I was planning to propose to her for marriage as I saw my future with her.
Everything was rainbows and sunshine until it was not.
One day, she asked me to meet her at a restaurant which is known for proposals. I mean, the environment itself makes it so conducive. I thought it would be a perfect opportunity for ‘the big moment’. I want this to be so special. I watched tonnes of YouTube videos of proposals (I am laughing right now while typing this, I was so stupid back then). Little did I know that I was in for a ride. A ride of emotions that would definitely give a roller-coaster a run for its money.
When I arrived at the restaurant, she was early. She looked tense. The vibes were not welcoming. As I sat at the table, she held my hands and started crying. I realized that the proposal was off the table. She said that she tried to talk about us with her parents, but they didn’t agree to it. In fact, they strongly opposed her relationship with me.
I was listening and processing and thinking all at the same time. I told her that we knew about this since the beginning. We also thought that we would be able to convince our parents, no matter how culturally opposite we are. I also asked if I could meet her parents as I was positive that I would be able to convince them.
She refused. She said that she would need some time and space. At first, I said okay. What I didn’t realize was that she was asking for space for 6 months. It didn’t make any sense back then. I respect all her decisions, but it was about her future. I needed to know why she needed space. She said that she needed space so that she would need time to convince her parents. She doesn’t want to go against her parents. Still, it didn’t make sense.
In India, usually, the parents of both families meet before deciding on a marriage. Hence, I asked if my parents could talk to her parents about this. By the way, my parents were supportive of our relationship. She refused and asked me to have faith in her and give her some space.
I agreed.
I didn’t (read “couldn’t”) meet her, although I was in touch with her via phone and texts. She moved to a different city after we met that day, due to work. This was the longest I didn’t meet her.
6 months and 14 days have passed! Not to be clichéd, but it felt like an eternity.
She called me at the same restaurant. Instead, I asked her to come to a park. I didn’t want to relive the same things. I thought changing the location would change the fate of our relationship. I was wrong.
This time I reached early. I sat on a bench near a popular landmark so that we didn’t have to search for each other. When she arrived, she already looked like she was going to give disappointing news. Here, I was right. She came and said that she couldn’t convince her parents. I told her that I saw that coming. She could have allowed me or my parents to talk to them if she valued our relationship. Then she dropped a bomb on me, saying that she was in a relationship with someone else.
I felt cheated. I was devastated. I had millions of questions for her and she owed me an explanation.
She said that she tried to convince her parents, but her parents were adamant. When her workplace decided to open a branch in a different city, she was chosen as one of the key people on the company’s expansion team. After moving to a new city, she met a guy who became her best friend. He was an investment banker in London. Coincidentally, he was the son of her father’s friend. Later, he proposed and she accepted. There was no problem for her family.
I simply asked, “Is this the reason, you needed your time and space?”
I was her best friend too. She simply could have told me. 3 freaking years of a strong relationship can’t just go away. I was also foolish. I waited 6 months expecting a positive response.
She said that she was extremely sad and needed someone to share with. She felt closer to him than I did.
I didn’t know what to say. Without wasting any more time, I bid her goodbye and wished her all the best wishes for her new life.
It’s been one year now. I have realized two things, learned the hard way.
- Sometimes, getting what you want doesn’t always work out the way you planned.
- Life is not fair at all.
When I look back, I realize how happy I was with her. I learned a lot about myself and about life. I have nothing but gratitude. But if she didn’t see any future with me, then there was no point.
This realization changed me as a person. It was a lesson in letting go even further. Of letting go of what I expected for us.
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