Sito | The Awakening

Celebrations

BANG!!!

Loud screams rang out in the village. It was early in the morning, just before dawn. The crowing of fleeing and panic-stricken cocks were drowned out by beating drums.

Today, these screams were not because of violence or cries of people being dragged away to serve in a foreign land or because of the wars we had fought against ourselves as a result of bad leaders and their greed for power.

Today we celebrate 10 years of independence,

10 years of being free,

10 years of ruling ourselves.

Papa left the house to join the other men in deliberating the issues gripping the country. His wives had started pounding vigorously in the kitchen and I could already hear mama calling for me to help.

I was the 4th child in the family. My stepmother had three girls, all married; Uduak, Ekaette, and Mfoniso.

Papa was a traditionalist and had married two wives because he wanted a male child as most men did. My mother is the second wife, she had five children; two girls and three boys.

Papa became a Christian when the white men from the sea came but decided to take care of his two families as tradition demanded.

Sito! Sito! di mi,’ I could hear mama calling me again.

I ignored her, I had other plans; I would sneak out and join the festivities, taunt masquerades and dance at the village square.

I was about to go when mama stopped me at the door, ’Sito, ake ufubu ka?’

My mother could understand English a bit but was not a fluent speaker so she rarely spoke in English and often addressed us in our mother tongue, Ibibio.

‘I was just…..just …going to …ehhhh…ask Papa something’

‘Sito! A’sok nsu no min?’

‘No! Mama, I am not lying to you’

‘Oya dok kitchen idan do’

I sulkily followed mama to the kitchen to help in the cooking. I was soon put to work; peeling yams, seasoning meat, and picking waterleaves. The children never did the cooking, only helped in the processes that led to cooking but it was still stressful as I would rather be in the square, enjoying the day’s festivities.

I was filling the water drum when I spotted my sister, Edidiong, peeping through the bush fence at the celebrations happening outside. I smiled knowing I had found another way to leave the house.

‘Edidiong!’

Looking up as if she had been caught, she raised a hand to her mouth, then placed her palms together begging me not to shout. I gestured for her to come over and she came.

Edidiong is younger than me by four years. We have other siblings; the one immediately after me is Mkpoikana meaning ‘nothing can win against God’. Edidiong is the next before the twins, Edikan and Ediyanga.

‘What are you doing there?’ I demanded

‘I’m try to look usoro’ she replied in her unpolished English with a mix of Ibibio because she couldn’t pronounce some of the words in English.

Edidiong was not smart so I knew manipulating her would be easy. Papa had sent us all to school;

I had finished school last year. Papa was so proud when the headmaster announced that I was the best student in my class, and would often boast to his friends.

Mkpoikana dropped out last year in form 4 claiming that school was not for him. He announced that he would learn a trade and eventually take over papa’s business.

The twins are very cunning, always causing trouble around the village but skillfully escape being caught. They are in form 2 and speak English well enough.

Edidiong on the other hand is in form 3 and can’t construct a full sentence in English correctly.

I grin inwardly as I move on to the next phase of my plan, manipulation.

‘Mama was looking for you’

‘tang a’kpaniko’

‘Yes, mma bo a’ye ke afo a me ka toilet a’di ease idem fo’

‘so songo’, she thanked me for the supposed help

‘There is the gourd by the well; mama wanted you to fill the water drum. I’m sure if you go now, she won’t notice you’

Nodding in reply, she took the gourd, drew the water, and set off towards the kitchen.

Satisfied with my cunning intelligence, I turned around and headed through the bush track with only one destination in mind.

Market square

As I neared the market square, the noise kept getting louder. I could already see the decorations and the dancers. They looked so beautiful in our traditional attire with beads to adorn their neck, waist, and feet.

I asked Papa if I could join the dance group and he had blatantly refused and asked me not to think of it anymore. Although people adored their performances, when the celebrations were over, they were often branded ‘Akpara’ meaning prostitutes in not so silent whispers.

I moved around till I found my friend, Ima. She was watching the dancers intently and cheering them on as well. Positioning myself behind her, I tickled her waist. She twisted around in a shriek and hit my hand.

‘Sito, nsuto ndi sime ado a dan do?’ she asked annoyed after recognizing her attacker.

I laughed till tears rolled down my cheeks and every time I tried to be serious, I recalled her fright and burst out laughing again.

‘Have you finished?’ she was still annoyed

‘Why did you shout like that? Who did you think it was? Emma shebi’ composing myself and taunting her.

‘Waka!’

‘Shege ‘I retorted

‘Don’t worry, you will soon marry him since you like him so much, Idiot’, Ima added with a grin

‘But I don’t want you to cry and look for your love later or accuse me of anything’

‘Foolish girl’

We laughed and moved towards a crowd gathering at the far side of the market. There was a fight going on. Two of the strongest men in the village were struggling on the ground to have dominion over the other. I loved these fights and was eager to see who would win.

Built like mountains, their hands moved around, choking and squeezing while trying to hold up the wrapper tied around and over their hips. It was exhilarating to watch but I knew who would win. The taller man looks strong but was slow and depended mostly on his body’s weight. On the other hand, the shorter man was quicker and swift in his attack, leaving no room for recovery. All the shorter man needed was a slip up from his opponent and he would win.

‘woooooo!’ I was soon cheering. The shorter man had no sooner pinned his opponent to the ground and won the fight. He was hoisted up and taken away leaving echoes of cheers behind

‘I didn’t think he would win… kposa kposa kposa…for him’ commented Ima who had been near me the whole time. She still marveled at the outcome of the fight.

‘I knew ooo; that tall man was lazy because he had seen his opponent and expected an easy win’

‘Amebo, always knowing’ she said rolling her eyes at me.

‘Afo nko’ I shot back almost immediately to cover up the sting of her words.

‘Yak nyin ika stream’ waving the insults away like it never happened.

‘It’s almost evening, we are not supposed to go there at night’

‘It’s not so dark, we will swim a little then leave’ she stuck a finger on her tongue and gestured towards the sky, swearing to confirm her honesty.

I didn’t like the idea but had chosen to go along with it. We were warned as girls to avoid the stream at night and for good reason as girls were always the victims of unfortunate incidents but I reasoned we would leave before it got dark.

We reached the stream and swam till the skies turned bright orange. We were packing up to leave but a problem arose; Ima couldn’t find her slippers. She had removed them at the bank of the stream before we started swimming.

‘Are you sure you kept them there‘

‘Yes!’ answered a frustrated Ima but I was tired of looking for it. It didn’t seem to be anywhere and the sun had almost gone down.

‘Look, you can buy another one, let’s go back home’

‘My mother will ask what happened to the other one’

‘Just lie; we will know what to do later. Yak nyin i yong ufok’

‘Okay,’ she agreed finally realizing it had gotten dark. We trekked carefully along the path to our house scanning the area as we walked.

We were halfway there when we started hearing whistling. Terrified, we clung to each other and walked faster.

Then we heard a voice yell, ‘come here!’.

We sped through the wind back home. Thankfully, we were not being chased; Ima went home and I went home too. Everywhere was quiet. The hens and goats had retired for the night. Only the crickets chirping could be heard.

I had to sneak into the house and hope nobody realized I was gone. I pulled open the bamboo door slowly and was creeping past the sitting room to the bedroom. A torch flickered on in the dark and I heard papa’s voice echoing in anger.

‘SITO!’

The music

Papa was sitting in the sitting room on the chair in the corner like those bosses we watched on TV in uncle Ifiok’s house. Only, he seemed pretty mad.

‘Sito!’ he repeated

Looking down at my feet, I answered ‘yes papa’

‘Where have you been?’ he demanded

I needed to think of an answer … a lie ... something

‘Am I talking to myself?’

‘Eh...no papa…I went to see my friend, Ima’

‘Eheh …’ he said thoughtfully, ‘So you did not see that it had gotten dark?’

He had gotten up and gotten his cane by the corner, bending and adjusting it.

I was scared now. Tears had begun falling down my cheeks and I was moving backward away from him.

‘kneel down there!’ He bellowed

I rushed to my knees.

‘Papa please, I’m sorry….I will not do it again’ I plead repeatedly as tears fell down my cheeks

‘Stretch out your hands… I will give you 15 strokes…You have been disobedient and now you must face the music’

Papa did not like to repeat himself, so I complied.

Each stroke was accompanied by a loud cry and sobs that must’ve woken everyone in the compound.

‘Get up and go to your room!’ he ordered when he was done.

I ran to the bedroom and spread my mat on the floor to sleep. I knew I wouldn’t be given any food and would sleep on an empty stomach. Edidiong who slept in the same room as me was awake.

‘Sorry,’ she offered

I didn’t reply but she went on,

‘You would have tell me that you go come for night, I could have help you like I help Edikan and Ediyanga… They come late also.’

The twins? What were they doing out so late?

Edidiong kept talking about her day hoping I would give her details about mine but I didn’t reply and eventually, she fell asleep. I was left with thoughts of the beautiful day and the ugly turn of events. After a while, I followed Edidiong into the land of dreams.

ku ku ru kuuuuuuu

Ku ku ru kuuuuuu

It was morning and the cocks were crowing loudly. I woke up with a headache and was instructed to fill the water drums. I filled it up and swept around the house. When I was done, I went to the kitchen to eat some food.

The twins were there, gisting, and went silent when they saw me. I observed them as I ate my food. They began to whisper and giggle. I was done eating and was about to drop my plate when I spotted something behind the twins.

‘Edikan and Ediyanga, what is behind you?’

They shifted

‘Nothing’ they answered in unison

I moved around them to see what they were hiding. I could not believe it.

‘Is this not Ima’s slippers? How did you get it?’

‘It is not’, Ediyanga spoke now

I knew those slippers anywhere. They were lying and I would scare them into telling the truth.

I reached for the bundle of firewood nearby and pulled out firewood. The twins had started running. I chased and caught them.

‘Whose slippers are those and where did you get them from?’

They didn’t reply but started shouting in hopes that someone would save them,

‘Mummy ooo…. daddy ooo. Sito wants to kill us’

Like clockwork, papa and mama came out

‘Nsido?’ that was mama.

‘Sito, drop that firewood and tell us the matter’ papa joined in.

In my anger, I hadn’t realized that I could get in trouble. If I explained the issue to papa, he would know that I went to the stream in the night and lied about it.

I am finished.

As if finishing my thoughts, Edikan exposed me.

‘Papa, Sito went to the stream yesterday with Ima and stayed till dark. We wanted to teach her a lesson so we took the slippers we found at the bank and now, she wants to beat us.’

‘What! Sito, did you go to the stream yesterday?’ Papa was fuming

‘y…es’ my voice was low and shaky

Papa looked disappointed and I felt horrible. I was going to deal with the twins later for not knowing how to keep their mouths shut.

‘All of you should kneel down with your hands above your heads’ He ordered and we obeyed.

He walked back into the house in deep thought.

An unexpected turn of event

*****************************************

Sito has disappointed me once again. I had so much hope that she would turn out the best but it seems like she invents new troubles each day. What am I going to do?

Her mother walked in just then and sat by me.

‘Eka Mkpoikana, what are we going to do about your daughter? She is getting uncontrollable’

She twisted her mouth and folded her arms before speaking, ‘hmmm, Ido nfana’

‘How is it not a problem?’ I asked

‘It’s not problem’ she repeated but in broken English, ‘Married her’

‘What will that solve?’

‘By the time she married, she will calm and not do again’

I can’t do that, she is still young. I can’t do that to her’ shaking my head in disapproval.

‘How old I was when we married? She a big giel. 16 years ol …basi mi mbok’

‘Marriage takes a lot of preparation and who is she going to marry?’

She smiled, ‘Ku fi n idi…don’t worries… I will handle’

Eka mkpoikana had always been smart. She had never gone to school but always made an effort to speak English around me.

I married her because she was stubborn, loving, hard-working and as a bonus, she is extremely beautiful. Today, her sitting here… I was finding it difficult to listen to her counsel but what if she was right.

I had spoiled my daughter for too long. Most of her peers had married before the reached 16. I know people assume I think I am better than them or pompous.

The truth is, She had excelled in school, and deep down, I imagined a world where she excelled in other areas and didn’t have to get married but it was inevitable … I made a decision.

*****************************************

We had been kneeling under the sun for a while, I was beginning to wonder if papa was ever coming back to release us.

Edidiong walked towards us, ‘Papa said you should get up’

The twins were already on their feet and fleeing, fearing what I would do but my anger had subsided and I just wanted to rest inside the house.

‘But Papa is call you’ she added before leaving.

I walked towards the sitting room where I knew he would be, wondering if I was going to be beaten.

I entered slowly and saw Papa sitting on the bamboo chair in deep thought.

‘Yes, papa’, shouting a little to bring him back to reality.

He looked up and stared at me for a while, then he stood up and moved to the door.

He stopped and said, ‘ Sito, you are old enough and will be getting married. Your mother will handle the preparations.’

With that, he walked out the door and I was left standing there to soak in the reality of his words.

Was what I did so bad? Is this my punishment? It has to be a lie … It can’t be true…

Over the following weeks, I realized that it was really happening. I was going to be married off to a man I didn’t know.

Begging, crying and my deliberate starvation did not seem to move Papa. Everyone seemed to be happy about it, particularly my mother. When I asked Ima her thoughts on the matter, she held that marriage is a blessing.

If everyone was so happy about it, why should I cause them trouble or give my father grief? I made up my mind to comply without my usual resistance. So, I waited quietly until the day of the traditional marriage.

An unusual feeling had come over me during that time; I couldn’t recognize it. I had no appetite to eat and no desire to talk to anyone. I had grown lean and my heart heavy. Papa began to worry and had me drink traditional medicine even though I insisted I was fine.

Mama and Edidiong helped me get dressed. I was led outside to meet my husband where all the traditional rites would be performed.

I saw him for the first time. A short round man with an even rounder stomach. He looked middle-aged and had hair coming out of his nose. Mama had told me he was a chief’s son and had prestige in the village.

I felt light-headed.

‘di’.. suk tie’ mama suggested while leading me to the bride’s chair decorated with ornaments and traditional clothing materials.

All the rites were concluded and the dowry paid. I was married or was it sold?

The activities progressed with people smiling at me and congratulating me. The groom whose name I still didn’t know glanced at me a few times and smiled. I gave a weak smile in return even though it felt like I was not there.

Was this it? Is this how my life would turn out? No choices. I wanted to write my fate. I didn’t want this. NO!

Strength welled up inside me and I had to act fast before I lost my guts. I gave some well-tailored excuses and retreated into the house. I hurried and packed a few things into a bag. I changed my clothes and ran to Papa’s room and took some money from where he hid it and headed towards the back door.

‘SITO!’

I froze but I knew the voice. It was Ima.

‘What are you doing?’ she asked

I could lie to her but this could probably be the last time I see her and I wanted to be truthful.

‘I’m leaving’

‘To where?’

‘I don’t know’

She was silent for a while then began, ‘why are you doing this? Your father will be so disappointed.’

‘I can’t do this’ lowering my voice as I spoke

‘You can’t do what, Sito! This is our life…This is who we are… We get married; bear children and serve our husbands’ she was shouting now

‘Please, don’t shout,’ I begged, ‘don’t you want something different?’

She walked towards me and held my hand, ‘what are you searching for? Is it worth it?’

I didn’t have the answer to that but it was time to go. Mama would be looking for me.

‘Goodbye,’ I said turning my back and ran towards the bush.

‘I hope you don’t regret this’ she shouted after me.

Allies

I had reached the park in time as I was the last to fill the bus that was going to Tthe city. I sat by the window and tears began to roll down my cheeks as the bus set off on the journey.

I couldn’t stop crying. This was the first time I would leave home. I didn’t know what lay ahead but I knew I couldn’t go home.

A nice man that sat near me, comforted me until I was only sobbing.

‘Where are you going?’ he asked

‘I don’t know’

‘Whatever you are upset about, It’s going to work itself out. There is no issue worth stressing about because nothing is constant.’

‘what does that mean?’

‘Well, change is the only constant. Your worries will either get better or worse. The outcome depends on the work you put in.’

‘So, I should work hard for the outcome I want’

‘That’s right’

I thought about what he said a lot until I slept — probably from crying so much.

We reached the city by evening and I was in awe. There were tall buildings and fancy cars. A lot of people selling different things and it was so rowdy.

maybe, they are working hard for their outcome too

I moved around, taking in everything until I was tired and hungry. Finding a deserted bus stop with a lot of people resting, I lay on hard pavement and drifted off to sleep.

‘get up and run!’ a hand pushed me out of my sleep and dragged me up. It was chaos, people were running and I didn’t know why. In fear, I followed the hand still dragging me until we had gotten far enough from the danger.

We bent down holding our knees to catch our breath. The hand turned out to be an extension of a tall girl. She was quite lean and had long dirty hair.

‘Why were we running?’

She stared at me and answered, ‘The police come around to pursue us from the bus stop. They say we make it look dirty and unclean’

‘wasn’t that fun though? a man tumbled over’ she added, laughing so hard at the thought.

‘so, this running is normal?’

‘yes, what’s your name?’

‘Sito — ’

‘My name is Tina’, she offered before I could ask, ‘what are you doing here?’

‘i don’t know’

‘ well, I help people in the market to carry their goods in exchange for money. Do you want to join me?’

I nodded and just like that, I had made a friend.

We had so much fun, carrying goods, running from the police for sleeping in public areas, and stealing food we couldn’t afford. She was nothing like Ima, she was witty and daring.

And although we had a few bad days, it was nothing Tina couldn’t cure with a silly joke, and, I was happy.

Time flew by and I had been in this city for 4 years, we had started working for Aunt Ruki, learning to weave hair and sew clothes in her joint venture. Tina had approached her about working for her and she agreed after hearing about our living situation. We didn’t get paid but we got free meals twice a day and it wasn’t so bad.

Tina and I had big dreams of starting our own little shop when we were done and it was exciting to look forward to.

Aunt Ruki inspired us. She was a slim, tall lady with two kids and an estranged husband.

The story was she decided to step up and make something of herself after her husband had left for someone younger.

Whether it held any truth or not, I knew I wanted to be like her; confident, and successful. It was a new feeling because I had never looked up to anyone.

So, we continued to live as we did, and on our final night as trainees, Aunt Ruki offered us jobs.

paying 7k a month! Chai!

We thanked her and celebrated a bit by jumping around and dancing in random patterns to the tunes in our heads. It would be the beginning of the great women we would turn out to be.

But as we walked to the bus stop that night knowing that it would be better from now onwards, we talked a lot about the future, we talked about the past too and Tina had stated, ‘e go better’, in pidgin English.

My thoughts went back to an old friend, she had asked, ‘what are you searching for? Is it worth it?’

The answer

Every minute was worth it. I wouldn’t trade it for an old life and had no regrets. Here, I had the possibility of dreaming and being something else. I wasn’t just one thing. I could be whoever I wanted and I felt free. As for what I was searching for — I was searching for better.