Silence, Solitude, and the Courage to Know Yourself
How silence and solitude help us find our truest selves
Given that many of us are quarantined, isolated, or distancing for our health and the health of others, now more than ever it is worth considering the inherent value of silence and solitude.
To be honest, my own world is anything but silent at the moment. I hear the wind as it blows my writer’s notebook back and forth like an accordion, flip-flap, flip-flap. My son is hammering chalk in an art project that has turned into a demolition project, as many things do. The dogs have been erratically barking for most of the morning because everyone is home, out in their fields doing work, or digging ditches down by the road. It is anything but silent.
But inevitably a few hours later, the world becomes quiet, all of the animals resting from their exuberant morning, my son tired of his demolition project. Only wind can be heard racing through the valleys and above the perpetually snow-covered mountain peaks.
Exploring one’s inner-self
When we sit in silence and solitude with our thoughts, something curious and wondrous begins to take place. We start hearing ourselves, a world away from the trappings of society with its standards, rules, and opinions. It is then that we can recalibrate with our authentic self, our deepest truth, anchoring or relearning how to simply be. This is peace.
I’ve found that it matters less where the solitude and silence are found and more about the state of mind achieved. Solitude and silence can be found anywhere, whether in nature, indoors, alone, or even surrounded by others.
So, what is the value of silence and solitude? And how can we allow the vast void that silence so graciously creates to fill our internal well of resilience, hope, and motivation?
Why it’s important to seek out silence and solitude
Often the hum of our inner voice is drowned out by the expectations, words, and events that are happening around us. This naturally leads us to listen more to our surroundings versus listening to the internal wisdom and answers that emerge when the opportunity is presented.
Solitude gives us the space, focus, and energy to figure out what our heart desires and what our world as a whole needs. In the absence of distractions, solitude makes it easier to search our thoughts and hear what we really want, with truth and authenticity.
By consciously removing ourselves from other interactions (or distractions), we are able to let go of outside influences and align with our deepest values. We can assess and consider the messages and assumptions our society puts on us. All too often, we may find that we’ve lost our sense of self and that the captain driving our ship is a stranger.
Solitude paired with silence creates a path to rediscovering ourselves.
Silence and solitude also give us mental and physical distance from our everyday lives and worries. This creates more space for creativity, innovation, and healing. When we make the choice to immerse ourselves in the infinite, we emerge stronger, more resilient, confident, and secure.
Consider these ways to embrace solitude in your everyday life:
1. Meditate in a peaceful place. Designate an indoor or outdoor location to return to every day to ground, center, and simply be. It doesn’t matter if you meditate for five minutes or five hours; work with what you have and for the amount of time that suits your disposition.
2. Taste and enjoy meals. Try eating in silence while paying attention to the flavors and textures. Appreciate that food is plentiful, that it took an enormous amount of resources to reach your plate, and that you can choose what to eat and when.
3. Start a silence habit with the whole family. Make silence appealing by turning it into a game or friendly competition. “Whoever doesn’t speak for five minutes gets the first slice of dessert, or has dibs on family movie night.”
4. When driving, turn off your radio and cell phone (if possible). With the windows up or down, simply listen to the melodious hum of the engine and tires working in tandem, transporting you through reality to wherever you want to go.
5. Have a designated no-electronics-time in your home. Taking a break from our phones, TVs, iPads, and other devices is one of the most liberating things that we can do, a well-deserved break from the bombardment of chores to finish, events to worry about, and future plans.
6. Immerse yourself in nature. Get out in the woods or another quiet outdoor setting where you can be at peace with your thoughts, thinking about what you want or nothing at all.
7. Meditate in the grocery store, post office, or anywhere else with a checkout line. This can be done on basically any errand and even at stoplights (with your eyes open). Take the time to breathe deeply and reorient yourself.
Silence and solitude require courage and perseverance. If we don’t give ourselves this crucial time to recharge, it’s very unlikely that the outside world will meet us in this endeavor.
Try what works for you, and may you find serenity as your spirit dwells in rhythmic silence with the beat of the earth and the drum of humanity.
“Without great solitude, no serious work is possible.” Pablo Picasso