Showing Your True Self To the World

On Learning to Be and Love the Real You

We are all affected by the world around us. Our parents, siblings, friends, teachers, everyone impact our vision of who we should be at a young age and even as adults. Some are more affected by this than others and I am one of them.

At a certain point, by our teens typically, we start hearing about things we shouldn’t wear anymore.

“You’re growing up. That’s not a good look for you anymore.”

“That’s too childish.”

“That’s for babies.”

“You need to look more mature.”

“We don’t wear that. If you want to be one of us, you can’t wear that.”

“That’s too cutesy. You need to look more professional.”

“You won’t be able to get a job looking like that.”

We end up censoring ourselves to better fit the expectation of society, our family, our friends, our job, etc. For some of us, it takes years before we feel confident to start showing these previously unacceptable sides of ourselves to the outside world.

But, in recent years, I have found that the more I show my quirkiness, style, and passions, the more people accept them. We are all so terrified of being ostracized for going against the crowd, but in 2021, what even is the crowd?

More and more, individuality is being accepted and even respected in both social circles and professional ones. Even things that used to be considered edgy or unprofessional enough to jeopardize your job (i.e. tattoos, piercings, unnatural hair colors, etc.) are becoming more mainstream, changing the definition of mainstream.

Even legendary tattoo artist Lyle Tuttle said in 2015 that tattoos have become trends and fads, that it’s more unique to not have one.

But here’s the kicker. YOU get to choose. The benefits of individuality in the workplace are being promoted to businesses and they are accepting it. Encouraging individualism promotes creativity and better collaboration and yields higher employee satisfaction, and higher overall employee performance.

Acceptance and encouragement of individuality in both professional and social spheres are on the rise. So what’s stopping you?

As a newly minted 28 year old, I am learning the real me, accepting her, and doing my best to share her with the world. The pandemic has also taken the opportunity to give me some rather hard-hitting lessons and opportunities for self-reflection.

At 28 years old, I am finally learning how to be me in front of other people. My hair and wardrobe are getting a rehaul. I’m working on being open about more things as opposed to censoring myself based on expectations.

I feel happy and beautiful, something I’ve struggled with in the past. Who knew that shaving part of my head would make me feel beautiful?

If you are also struggling, take the chance to check in with your inner self, perhaps even your inner child if you don’t let them out often. How are they doing? What do they need? What would help?

This may be hard if you have been keeping them hidden for a while. Focus on what excites you. Accept those things about you. Internalize them.

For help with wardrobe items, Marie Kondo’s KonMari Method explained in her books The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, Spark Joy, and Joy at Work can be of particular help. It’s not just about cleaning up the clutter. It’s about focusing on what’s important to you and surrounding yourself with things that bring you joy.

You are allowed to be happy and surround yourself with things and people that bring you joy. You just need to be open to what that is.

If you want a tattoo, get one. If you want a new piercing, get one. If you want to wear flashy makeup, do it. If you want to wear no makeup, do it. If you want to shave your head, do it. If you always hold yourself back from a certain style even though you want to try it, free yourself. Get that nerdy item that makes you happy and display it proudly.

Help yourself be the best version of yourself by accepting those sides of yourself that you have previously hidden.

I think you will be surprised by how many people will love the real you and that you feel comfortable being yourself. And if they don’t, maybe they don’t deserve to know the real you. Maybe they need to change, not you.

The past year has been eye-opening for many of us. We have figured out what is truly important to us both personally and professionally. Many of us have also figured out our breaking points and the value of living a life we love. Surround yourself with people who accept you.

You can’t be your best self if you are holding parts of yourself back.