Summary

The website content provides a guide for writers to enhance their storytelling by replacing passive and vague descriptions with active and vivid imagery that engages the reader's senses.

Abstract

The article titled "Show Don’t Tell" serves as a cheat sheet for writers aiming to strengthen their narrative by showing rather than telling. It emphasizes the importance of eliminating filler words and passive voice to create more impactful and descriptive prose. The author suggests using the "Find" function in word processors to identify and remove words like "just," "very," and "really," which do not contribute to the narrative. Instead, writers are encouraged to focus on descriptions that a camera could capture, thereby painting a picture in the reader's mind. The article includes a comprehensive list of physical actions associated with various emotions, such as "biting nails" for fear or "clapping/clasping hands" for excitement, to help writers convey characters' feelings more effectively. The guide concludes with examples of how to transform passive sentences into active, sensory-rich descriptions that allow readers to experience the story through their senses.

Opinions

Editors advocate for the removal of filler words to improve the quality of writing.
The use of passive words and telling rather than showing can detract from the storytelling experience.
Readers prefer writing that allows them to visualize the story, enhancing their emotional connection to the narrative.
The "Find" function in Microsoft Word is a valuable tool for cleaning up a story by deleting unnecessary words.
Describing emotions through physical actions makes the writing more descriptive and engaging.
The presence of the word "was" often indicates passive writing that could be made more active and vivid.

Show Don’t Tell

A cheat sheet to strengthen your writing

I love to write. But I’ve been told that I use too many passive words and spend most of my time telling a story rather than showing it.

My argument is that I am telling a story! But it falls on deaf ears as editors remind me that readers want to be shown rather than told.

They advise with every story you write, return to remove filler words such as “just”, “very” and “really”. They are meaningless and the writing equivalent to “um”, “er”, and “uh” in speech.

Go through the story and delete the word “that”. If a sentence makes sense after removing “that” cut it.

Other words that add nothing to a sentence include “totally”, “definitely”, and “actually”.

The easiest way to clean up a story is to use the “Find” function in Microsoft Word and delete these words.

After cutting fillers, return to write stronger sentences by asking,

Can the camera see it?

If a camera can’t see it, rewrite using descriptions to paint a picture in the reader’s mind. Ask yourself, “What does the emotion or feeling look like?”

Here’s a handy list to refer to if you get stuck. Use these ideas to make your writing more descriptive and visual.

Afraid

Biting nails Breathing heavy/fast Bulging eyes Chills/goosebumps Chattering teeth Covering mouth/eyes with hand Flinching Quivering lips Shaking/trembling hands Screaming/gasping Shivering body Stuttering Whimpering

Angry

Clenching jaw/fists/hands Furrowing brows Gritting/gnashing teeth Huffing and puffing Narrowing eyes/squinting/glaring Popping veins Punching hand into fist/shaking fist Reddening face Scowling/snarling Stomping Yelling/Growling

Cold

Blowing on hands Chattering teeth Eyes watering/tears freezing Hugging self/huddling together Rubbing hands together Seeing breath in the air Shivering/goosebumps Stamping feet

Embarrassed

Blinking/holding back tears Blushing/flushing cheeks Hanging head low Hiding face Rolling eyes Running away Slumping shoulders

Excited

Clapping/clasping hands Dancing around Jumping up and down Opening eyes/mouth wide Shouting/squealing out loud Waving arms

Frustrated

Clenching your fists Crossing your arms Gritting teeth and breathing fast Putting your head in your hands Pouting face Rolling your eyes Tapping your foot Turning red in the face

Happy

Clasping hands together Dancing Giggling/laughing Jumping/leaping up and down Smiling/grinning/showing all teeth Squealing Widening eyes

Hot

Breathing heavy Brightening red face Fanning self with hand Moving slowly Panting for breath Sweating face/back/hairline

Hungry

Smacking lips Sniffing the air Stomach rumbling Watering mouth

Nervous

Biting bottom lip Chewing nails Fidgeting in seat Moving/shuffling from side to side Playing with hair Shaking/trembling hands Stuttering/stumbling over words Swallowing hard Sweating Tapping hands/feet

Proud

Arching shoulders back Holding head high Raising chin up Standing tall Sticking chest out

Sad

Covering face Crying/swollen eyes Dragging feet Frowning/trembling lips Hanging head low/down Holding head in hands Quivering/shaking voice Slumping/drooping shoulders Walking slowly

Shocked

Dropping jaw Eyes popping open Fainting Gasping for air Hand covering mouth Jumping/leaning/stepping back Raising eyebrows

Shy

Blushing Crossing arms Hiding behind things Looking down Shuffling feet Speaking softly/quietly Standing away from others

Surprised

Opening mouth wide Opening eyes wide Staring

Tired

Dragging feet Drooping red/bloodshot eyes Leaning head on hands Looking at watch Nodding off Rubbing eyes Slouching/sagging in chair Stretching Trying to keep eyes open Yawning/sighing

Worried

Pacing back and forth Sweating palms/hands

The list isn’t exhaustive but you get the idea. The details and actions tell the story for you, and the reader experiences the story through their senses.

One last tip. When in doubt, look for the word “was”. It’s a dead giveaway of passive writing.

Telling: Sarah was scared of the dark.

Showing: When her mom turned off the light and left the room, Sarah tensed. She huddled under the covers and held her breath.

Telling: George was cold.

Showing: As he stood at the bus stop, George hugged himself and watched his breath cloud the air in front of his face.

Telling: Teresa was angry.

Showing: Her face flushed a deep shade of red, and she glared at him. “You liar!” she screamed, clenching her fists.

Writing is the easy part.

Editing takes time and effort to make it good writing.