Show, Don’t Tell

Good advice

If you’ve ever taken a class in writing, you’ve heard the advice “Show, don’t tell.” I heard it from James P. Degnan, a former professor of English at Santa Clara University and the author of two textbooks, many stories, and many articles, one of which is “Style by Strunk,” first published in Santa Clara Magazine, Volume 24 Number 8, Spring 1982.

In that article, Degnan discusses The Elements of Style, by William Strunk Jr. and E. B. White, who advise students to “prefer the specific to the general, the definite to the vague, the concrete to the abstract” — that is, to show, don’t tell.

Examples

In the book, Strunk and White give four examples, two of which tell (even though one of the two uses the word showed) and two of which show:

“A period of unfavorable weather set in.”

“It rained every day for a week.”

“He showed satisfaction as he took possession of his well-earned reward.”

“He grinned as he pocketed the coin.”

The examples that show do so because, as Strunk and White say, the “words call up pictures.” And although abstract language is indispensable because it allows speakers and writers to introduce and summarize thoughts and feelings, concrete language allows them to illustrate those thoughts and feelings.

Another Benefit

Concrete language can also allow speakers and writers to prove that their thoughts and feelings are what they say they are, as I learned from my friend Frank Sullivan, a former teacher at Arroyo Grande High School. Once, while talking about language with Frank, I mentioned Degnan’s good advice. “Of course,” Frank said. “You can tell a student that you think he’s responsible, but you show him that you think so — you prove to him that you think so — when you say, ‘Go get a slide projector from the audio-visual lab.’”

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Copyright © 2023 by John Porter. All Rights Reserved.