Should You Read ‘The Four Agreements’?
Excellent concept, Unnecessarily Wordy
This article is somewhere between a book review, book summary, and reflection post reading.
I stumbled upon this book in a local library and immediately picked it up impressed after reading a few paragraphs. After going through the book, I can call this a nice, but wordy effort.
For reference, The Four Agreements is a book by Don Miguel Ruiz.
What is the book about?
The book is based on four principles (in the book called as agreements) to live a happy life.
The premise built by the author is that we have been domesticated (much like pet animals) from our childhood, and all the teachings from adults or restrictions have shaped as into unhappy beings.
The author then calls these agreements, that we have adopted from our elders and society. The agreements are ingrained in our system and to break free from them, we must make new agreements.
What are the four agreements?
The principles known as ‘agreements’ in the book are as follows:
- Be Impeccable With Your Word: At first I thought it meant to stay true to your word, only to later find out that the author meant it as to spread positivity. As per the author, you should only use your words to spread positivity and love, instead of toxicity.
- Don’t Take Anything Personally: The author builds this agreement on the premise, that humans are taught personal importance from the very start. Hence, we take everything that happens around us, as a personal sentiment. He redirects, that whatever is said to you, and whatever you say to someone (though I disagree on this one) is not your responsibility. You have to detach your self from this personal importance, and as you do this, you’ll be free.
- Don’t Make Assumptions: The author conveys, that most conflicts happen due to misunderstanding, wrong expectations, and judgement before questioning. He suggests adopting this agreement by setting clear (vocal) expectations from everyone and questioning instead of assuming.
- Always Do Your Best: This was an illuminating agreement for me. The author suggests, that the above three agreements will only work if you do your best, and your best is different from moment to moment (for e.g., when you are healthy vs sick or energetic vs drained). Keeping this agreement in mind, you will never bash yourself, as you’d know that you have given your best (whatever that best is for the moment).
What I like about the book:
I love the simplicity with which this book is written, the vocabulary is easy to understand, and helps you read the book in a flow.
While I believe, the agreements are a bit obvious and appear is most self-help books, the author explains them to you in laymen language with daily life examples (thus broadening the audience of the book).
What I didn’t like about the book:
While I liked the concept of the book, I think it was bit verbose, and could have been much shorter in length. There are unnecessary repetitions of each concept within the book, that also within consecutive paragraphs making it difficult to maintain interest.
The tone is bit religious, or spiritual at the least, with phrases such as dream of the planet, casting spell on others, gossip is like black magic etc.
Lastly, although the book is phrased as ‘ancient Toltec wisdom’, I think a few research references would have helped pique my interest, on to how these agreement elevate life.
Should you read the book?
In all honesty, I don’t think the book is worth the prize tag. If you get a free copy or can borrow one, you should give it a read. It serves as good reminder, but doesn’t unveil any new insights, to what is obvious since decades.
This is my opinion, the book may be perceived differently by other readers. After all, it has sold a lot of copies and has 4.19 rating on Goodreads.