FICTION

Should You Fight for Love or Set It Free?

An age-old question, answered by Dolores and Zack

“I hate my name,” Dolores scribbled in her diary. If I was called Jeniffer or Kirsten or Brooke, I could have had a better shot at life. She peeked out her bedroom window and noticed that the sun was about to set.

What a dull scene, she thought to herself.

After rapidly pouring out her heart in the diary’s beige-colored pages, she hid it in the new spot — her closet’s top-shelf. Dolores had an errand to run.

She wore her most used pair of jeans — a loose fitted one, with her long black T-shirt. She also threw on an oversized hoodie, in case it gets cold later. In the seconds it took to switch off the stereo and plug in her headphones to the walkman, she could hear her parents’ voices.

“…I know it is my bad luck that I ended up with you. Now, I need to accept my fate,” said her mom. Her father retorted, “You have a bucket of expectations that needs to be continuously filled. I neither care nor am I….”.

Avril Lavigne’s Complicated cut off the rest of the conversation, and she was grateful for it. Dolores walked to the nearest supermarket. Among other things, she needed to pick up (a few packs) of tampons. She made her way into the store without making eye contact with anyone — First barrier, check. She wandered around, with Somewhere I Belong blasting in her ears, looking for the feminine hygiene aisle.

When she finally found it, she spotted a boy there. Cute guy, my age — abort, abort, abort. She slunk into the next aisle and quietly waited for him to leave.

Clad in his ripped jeans and black t-shirt, Zack was an interesting vision. He had a bag (with books peeping out of it) slung over his left shoulder, a leather jacket thrown over the right one, and earphones in his ears. Zack glanced at his phone as if to check something and then picked two different varieties of tampons. He swept his gorgeous-wavy-chocolate-colored hair out of his eyes as he filled his shopping cart.

Interesting. How does he make this look so cool?

After what seemed like an eternity, he left. Dolores quickened her pace, grabbed the things that she needed, and made a beeline to the shortest checkout line. And there he was standing right in front of her, picking out a packet of gum. By the time she realized this, two people had already gathered behind her, and she couldn’t run.

It seems like an awkward conversation is inevitable. Ahhh, the best-laid plans.

“Hey, could you pass me some gum?” She asked, unable to handle the suspense. He turned around to reveal the most soulful eyes she had ever seen. “Here you go.” After an awkward pause, he asked, “Are you new here?”. “Yes, I am,” she replied.

What followed was a cordial conversation between two people, getting to know each other while passing the time. They realized that she was enrolled in the same school as him — they would be starting their junior year of high school at the end of summer.

Zack offered her a ride home, and Dolores gladly accepted. When she was busy switching radio stations, he asked her what type of music she listened to. “A little bit of everything. It depends on my mood, actually. Some days call for Frank Sinatra, some for Britney and others for AC/DC”.

During the ten minute ride to her house, they had a spirited debate over the bands they liked, and she asked him for his chat ID. He offered to help her carry her bags, she refused. Zack smiled at her while waving goodbye. A smile that created a lump in her throat and made her head spin for a few seconds.

Time does fly when you are having fun.

Once in her room, Dolores couldn’t focus on anything. Thomas Hardy’s words didn’t make a whole lot of sense, and neither could she vibe to her playlist. She waited for dinner to be over, the night to arrive, and the clock to strike ten with bated breath. Zack had casually mentioned that he usually comes online around this time. And she had already sent him an IM request.

I can’t take another minute of this. How did literary characters wait for months, for correspondence to arrive?

At ten, a tiny green dot appeared beside his name, shining across her room like a bright beam of light. “Hi,” she typed. “It’s precisely twenty-two hundred hours. Did you set an alarm?”. “I am not revealing that,” he replied. “Are you free to chat?”. “Yes,” typed Dolores.

You fool, I have been eagerly waiting for the past two hours, for this very moment to arrive. I am surprised that I still have hair on my head and nails on my fingers.

For the following fortnight, they chatted with each other non-stop. They talked about everything under the sun and shared intimate thoughts that they hadn’t even fully admitted to themselves. They found complete acceptance, solace, and a safe space in each other.

Conversations that stir the soul are rare in life, but each of their interactions seemed to outdo the previous one in depth, meaning, and length. Their chats often lasted for hours, but they felt like only a few minutes. At one instance, though, time stood very still.

“I like you,” typed Dolores. “Me too. Would you like to go out sometime?” asked Zack. She instantly replied, yes. And then wrote “BRB.”

She needed a few minutes to collect herself. Dolores opened her window and took a deep breath. She gazed at the clear night sky, with its streaks of purple and few shimmering stars. An iridescent moon cast it’s soft glow on her.

I want to remember this moment. The scene outside my stupid window has never seemed so magical, until now.

The next day, they discussed ideas for their first date. Dolores had it all planned out. They would drive up to Santa Monica pier, eat food on a stick, hop on every possible ride, and make a day out of it.

Theme parks and beaches ranked high on the tiny list of experiences where she felt something. Sensing her level of excitement, Zack chose not to reveal his plans. He had rented a couple of DVDs, two favorite movies each, for a night-in. He decided to go along with her idea — Anything to bring a smile to her face.

Dolores could not sleep the night before. Visions of them laughing, hugging, and walking hand in hand on the pier kept swirling through her mind. She got up to check her bag, already packed for the next morning.

Map of the area — check. Sunscreen — check. Playlist — check. His favorite snacks — check.

She would remember these dreams rather vividly the next day when she threw up after eating a corn dog. Their first date was a bit rocky. Conversations were choppy, expectations and reality were in contrast with one another, and vomit has a tendency to ruin romance a tad bit.

Their prints from the photo booth didn’t turn out great. “It’s like two people who don’t know each other have been forced to sit on a bench,” Dolores remarked. Zack was not a fan of the Ferris wheel, and they didn’t have a memorable conversation when they reached the top. He was busy avoiding looking down.

As the day ended, and they walked hand in hand, back to his car, Dolores expressed her frustration. “You know how they show these montages in rom-coms, where two people are having the time of their life amidst a sweaty crowd? It’s a big fat life”.

“I think that’s why they use a montage, to skip over the awkwardness. No one wants to see two people losing their minds while waiting in a hundred people line.” Zack cheekily remarked. He didn’t know what this meant to Dolores, yet.

“You look beautiful today,” he complimented her as he dropped her home. This is the first time she had heard someone utter this sentence, and he meant it. “Thank you,” she replied as tears welled up in her eyes.

Later that night, over chat, Dolores explained how disappointed she was. This was not how she had envisioned their first date to go. Zack listened to her monologue against people, rom-coms, and social standards for dating patiently.

He comforted her when he could. “Things will get better, Dolores. First dates are supposed to be awkward in real life”. “Just wait for our fifth date, when we lose ourselves in the moment and each other. And if it goes badly, we will rant about it together and listen to some AC/DC.”

Dolores paused. She was pleasantly taken aback. He did not find her weird or complain about the fact that she had too many expectations. He was actually trying to cheer her up. This was a first. Slowly, anger gave way to another one of their lengthy conversations, and soon, they started discussing where she could buy some second-hand books.

They went to sleep with smiles on their faces. The date may not have gone well, but things were as warm and fuzzy as ever in their tiny bubble.

Over the course of the next month, things did get better, and they spent their summer in a world of their own. He showed her around the neighborhood and introduced her to his favored spots. She introduced him to rare books, new music, and some radical ideas.

One moment they would be debating about where to go for some fro-yo, and the next, they would discuss the absurd nature of the reality of our existence.

She could lose herself in his arms and feel safe, pretending for a few moments that there was nothing wrong with the world. He could listen to her talk for ages; she was a real person and a damn interesting one at that.

When school started, the amount of time they could make available for each other became a constraint. Zach played football and had a shit ton of AP classes. Before Dolores, his routine was school, football practice, homework, study, bed, train, and school. She was used to spending a lot of time by herself, lost in her art. She also worked part-time at the Gap to save up for her future.

His friends were surprised to find out that Zack had a girlfriend. He had never mentioned wanting to date or shown interest in any girl at school. Up until two months ago, Zack spent all of his (little) free time with them. Now he was always running off to spend time with Dolores (or so it seemed).

“I see you have forgotten all about us, Zack,” remarked Brad. “You don’t remember what I’ve been teaching you for the past two years. If you want to date, I could have picked someone for you — someone chill.”

“Yeah, what’s this relationship business?” asked Nick. “We are wayyyy too young to be in love.”

“That’s not true,” replied Zack. “I like spending time with her; she isn’t like anybody I have ever met.”

Dolores was a breath of fresh air, one that Zack didn’t know he wanted but desperately needed. He found her to be incredibly inconsistent. She didn’t know what she wanted to do in life (professionally) but had been saving up since the age of five to take a gap year after high-school and travel.

On some days, she was fearless, and on some days, she shut herself off and wouldn’t leave her room. She did not flinch when she cut her finger while making a stir fry but regularly cried at the movies.

She listened to Jay-Z, Pink Floyd, and Celine Dion on the same day. She watched The Pretty Woman and Jurassic Park back to back and felt equally moved by both of them. She had a dark sense of humor and laughed at the most absurd of situations. He never knew what would happen next, but he yearned to turn the page and find out.

Dolores loved Zack with every fiber of her being. He was kind, sweet, and made her feel wanted. Zack saw the world objectively, and she was often envious of how sure he was about everything. He worked extremely hard at school, and his tireless dedication to the things that mattered blew her mind.

He had a remarkable ability to stay calm in the direst situations and always knew right from wrong. He listened to Dolores with interest, with a twinkle in those hazel eyes, every time she spoke. Zack never once asked her to pause.

He knew a lot, like about everything. They could never run out of topics; history, environment, video games, current affairs, astronomy, and more were always on the table. Often flowing from one to another and, at times merging to form some remarkable conclusions.

He was open to new things, learned them swiftly, and also made it look cool. He was vulnerable, admitted his flaws readily, and apologized on the rare occasions that he hurt her. He was the first real person that she had met.

When they found each other, it was as if two missing pieces of an asteroid lay side by side in a lab after a century spent apart. It was also a collision of two opposing forces, and the result was a relationship as beautiful as can be. And they both felt the impact.

In the following two months, they did everything they could to steal time and be with each other. They spent their afternoons reading in the park, evenings feasting on pancakes in diners, and nights next to each other, sharing earphones, in her room.

They also faced their fair share of challenges. Dolores couldn’t make it to most of his games, and he had to cancel plans frequently owing to his grueling schedule. They both looked at the world and their futures differently. All Dolores wanted was to get away from her family, travel, and eventually settle in New York City. Zack aimed for Yale, then Stanford Business school, and a high profile career. And at times, their debates and discussions left them on two opposite sides of the spectrum.

They could not celebrate the three month anniversary of their first date because Zack had an inter-school game. A date, about fifteen days from then, was set. They would wine and dine like adults.

But, before then, they would hit a different milestone — dinner with each other’s families. The week before the gathering at Dolores’s house was filled with a flurry of activities. Her mother inquired about his favorite meal and went on to prepare chicken parmesan with roasted vegetables, deep clean the house, and ensure that her family was on their best behavior.

The dinner was pretty uneventful. Dolores’s father was his usual distant self and remained quiet throughout the meal. Her mother asked Zack many questions about his future, and oohed and ahhed at each response.

After the meal, her father retired to read the newspaper, and Zack left early as he had to study for a test. As Dolores was doing the dishes, her mother approached her for a conversation. “Zack’s a catch. You are very fortunate…trust me, I would know. If I were you, I would hold on to him,” advised her mom. “Thanks, mom, but I don’t recall asking,” replied Dolores.

“Keep up with the witty answers, Dolores, but when you are thirty and living with two cats, you will regret not listening to me and making changes in your life when you still had a chance. Sigh, why do I even bother?”. Dolores chose not to engage further, conserve her energy, and choose her battles.

As long as I am away from you, I will consider my life a success. And cats are welcome; I adore them.

Zack’s parents returned the dinner invitation. Dolores noticed how different his home looked. Their living room seemed ready to receive the Queen for tea. They used their expensive crystal, and it seemed like they dined together every day as a family.

His mother observed the ease with which Dolores interacted with Zack. Without a prompt, she took the Zucchini from his plate, a vegetable he disliked, and filled it with carrots from hers.

Dolores also made fun of how he tore into his chicken and finished it within minutes. She complimented his parents on a job well done, as Zack was an incredibly sweet, passionate, and gentle soul. She also stated that he had a hefty class load in a matter of fact way.

Apart from these statements, the rest of the conversation was limited and formal. After Dolores left, Zack offered to clean up. His mother refused and asked him to go and do his job — study. “Dolores is a bit weird, don’t you think?” she remarked. “And, why did she wear jeans to dinner?”. “What’s wrong with jeans, mom? I, too, am wearing them.”

And no, she is not weird. If she seems so, that’s because she is a real person.

Zack wished to say this out loud but couldn’t. His mother had been to two different grocery stores and had spent three hours preparing his favorite meal and dessert. Now she was going to hand wash the plates. With a troubled mind, and unspoken words hanging in the air, he left for his room.

Later that night, his father came in for a chat. “Do you love her?” he asked. “Yes, I do,” replied Zack. “If you want my opinion, son, you are too young to be in love. And you know our plan, Yale then Stanford. You have such a bright future ahead of you, and you should focus on that. There will be ample time for love later.”

The subsequent weekend, he took Dolores out for her favorite meal, Spaghetti Aglio e olio. “What do you think, the dinners were okay, right?” she asked with a tinge of hope in her voice. “I think so,” he replied with a heavy heart. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter what they think. It matters what we believe in, and I have faith in us,” said Dolores.

“Do you like the food here?. Anyways, I was waiting to tell you about this theory I read the other day…..”.

Eventually, they had their perfect anniversary date. It had the whole nine yards, fancy restaurant, borrowed wine, flowers, and playing dress-up. After the date, they sat at their usual spot in the diner and gulped down burgers. “It’s like the portions were designed for birds!” exclaimed Dolores. Zack smiled and continued to watch her eat.

They decided to take a walk and stopped for ice cream midway. When Dolores and Zack sat down on a bench and devoured their Vanilla cones, she gazed at her boy sitting next to her. She did not have adequate words to describe what she felt for this magnificent person. She did not want the night to end.

But, it did, and they had to go back to their very real lives. Having the same fight, again and again, can be tough on a young heart. Dolores didn’t like hanging out with his friends, and the feeling was mutual. She called out their casual sexism, refused to laugh at poorly conceived jokes, and overall didn’t cope well with large gatherings.

He couldn’t be present for their late-night chats as his mind and body were terribly exhausted at the end of the day. He tried his best to keep up with her, but of late, she was doing most of the talking, inserting stand up routines in their conversations, and trying to keep the magic alive.

They had limited time, diverging interests, and their issues seemed to grow, becoming more challenging to bridge over time.

Soon, they had their inevitable first big fight. “I am never your priority, and this relationship ranks last on your list,” said Dolores. “I am tired of hearing this statement, and you know what I never planned for any of this to happen. We are too different, and that’s not my fault. And we are too young to be in love,” replied Zack.

He could see her eyes’ turn darker and sense her heart breaking into a million pieces.

“You know what? Let me set you free then so that you can live your perfect life just as you please”, she cried out as she stormed off and ran to her house.

Dolores tactfully avoided her family and shut the door of her room tightly behind her as she broke down in tears. She couldn’t entertain the thought of losing him. He was her friend, confidante, lover, shoulder to cry on, everything. As she lay on the floor, bawling, she realized what this was. This was the fight. And that life as she now knew it, didn’t exist anymore.

Is there a point in carrying on then?

The next day at school, Zack was surprised to see that Dolores had saved a spot for him at lunch, as she always did. “I thought you were never going to talk to me again,” he remarked while sitting down. “Well, when you didn’t show up at my house with a boombox, what other option did I have? How else will you get an opportunity to apologize?” she replied with a smile on her face.

They made up and went on to have a lengthy conversation about their problems. “They do exist, we cannot deny that,” said Dolores. “I know…is it supposed to be this hard?” asked Zack.

Dolores and Zack decided to take some time apart. A break might actually help, they thought. Zack watched her as she started walking towards her bike, and couldn’t believe what had just transpired between them. Was he really going to let her walk away? Maybe.

They both had agreed that this was the right decision and hoped that they could try again in time.

Zack went back to his routine, but he was a shell of his former self. He barely ate or slept. He dragged himself from activity to activity without much thought. Zack spent his little free time by himself, walking around, visiting the spots he once cherished.

As his face started to lose its color, his parents inquired about his health. “Is everything okay? asked his mother. “Where’s the problem, school, football, maybe? You can stop playing if you want. What do you want for dinner?.” “No, mom, I am okay,” replied Zack.

The football field is the only place where I can feel something. I can be alive for a few minutes. I can’t give it up.

An angrier than ever, Dolores spent most of her time locked in her room, painting. The more artworks she sold, the bigger her travel fund grew. She purchased a calendar and started crossing out days, looking forward to graduation when she could finally get out of this place.

Dolores ate a lot, as food was the only remaining comfort in her life. The perfect duo, a pint of Haagen Dazs Belgian chocolate ice cream and Casablanca, could make life a little bearable.

AC/DC nights were more frequent, and Jane Austen made way for George Orwell. While re-reading 1984, she thought to herself, is this dystopian reality all that different from now? Maybe this is an alternate and thought-provoking depiction of the present time dramatized to make people notice how less we think, how little control we exercise.

Two months passed, and neither of them made contact. They would pass each other in the hallway occasionally, and Dolores would wave at him. When he looked at her, Zack felt as if somebody was tightening the screws on a metal cage placed around his ribs.

He would be breathless for a few seconds while standing there, staring at the last glimpse of her. Zack wanted to say something but didn’t know what to say.

Then one day, Dolores went to the same store to buy a few school supplies. She figured that enough time had passed for it not to hurt as much. She would be in and out in five minutes anyway and didn’t have to visit that aisle.

When Dolores walked in, with the Backstreet Boys singing Show me the meaning of being lonely in her ears, it all came back to her with a surge of emotions that she couldn’t handle. At the checkout counter, she thought of the boy and girl that stood there seven months ago.

What happened to them? Did they not deserve love, happiness? She wondered.

Dark clouds gathered as she started her walk home, accurately reflecting the state of her mind. That’s it. Enough. I am not giving up. And with that thought, she found herself marching towards Zack’s house instead.

Zack opened the door to find a shivering, drenched and angry Dolores standing on his porch. “I need to talk to you, can I come in?” she asked. “Yes, of course.”

They walked to his room in silence. After drying herself off with a towel (that was offered), Dolores started a conversation. “Do you ever miss me?” she asked, meeting his gaze, her eyes darker than ever. “Every minute of every day,” replied Zack.

“Then it’s settled. I have something to say, and I want you to hear me out before you respond”, said Dolores and started a monologue that would be etched in Zack’s memory for the rest of his life.

I want you to give us a chance. I want both of us to give “us” a chance. To the people who say that we are too young to be in love, what do they know of it? And what do they know about us? We get to make our decisions.

We determine our fate. Our life should be in our control, and for that, we need to figure out what’s best for us. Life offers us a series of choices and is also a culmination of them, and I want us to choose each other. I know it’s hard. But is it worth it?

I think it is, and I don’t care if we are too different or will eventually drift apart when school ends. I want to live in this moment — now. I love you and don’t want to be apart from you for a second. I want to spend as much time as we can, together, because these are the memories that I will cherish throughout my time on this earth.

And when it ends, I don’t want to have any regrets. I want to have fought for what I want. And I want you. I am not giving up.

Zack responded with a hug. A surge of energy passed through their individual bodies, making its way to the other. Put together, it created a singular moment in time that existed in itself, unaffected by anything else. The room and its belongings disappeared and made way for the night sky, where they stood amidst the stars, above the clouds, gazing into each other’s eyes.

“I am not giving up either,” said Zack as he wiped her tears. And they laid there together for hours, conversing about the topics, experiences, and feelings that were bottled up since their last talk.

Dolores and Zack were inseparable for the next year and a half. She went to watch his games, giving up her hatred for Sports. He spent hours with her in flea markets looking for old books and records. She made flashcards for him, helped him study, and drove him to his college interviews. He contributed to her travel fund and helped her plan the backpacking trip.

They still fought, as passionate couples do, but they also made up. They held each other on challenging days and made them seem bearable. Zack comforted her when she cried rivers. Dolores motivated him when he was worn out to keep up and make it to the finish line. They were always there for each other to share the important moments — the good, bad, and the ugly.

Any and every free night would be spent, in her room, together. They talked, dreamed, and hoped. Zack glued some glow in the dark stars to the ceiling of her room so that she can always have the night sky with her. That prompted Dolores to paint her ceiling with blue, black, red, and purple. They also hung some lights in the shape of celestial bodies. Dolores called this their first masterpiece.

Lying in each other’s arms, staring at their sky, in the warmth of twinkling lights, while listening to soulful music represented the best days of their lives.

They found new shared interests and also spent time doing things for each other, which they didn’t like at first. Dolores challenged him to think differently and encouraged him to pay attention to himself. Zack asked her to take herself more seriously and focus on the positive things she wanted out of her life.

A good relationship changes you, transforms you into a better version of yourself, helps you develop empathy, compassion, and offers you the abundant magic of love. And this was the case for Dolores and Zack.

They took a road trip right after school ended. They clicked pictures, stayed up the entire night while camping, and roasted marshmallows on a fire. They also had a lengthy conversation about their future.

Their respective paths were going to take them away from each other, and while utterly devastating, this divergence was necessary. Neither of them wanted the other to give up on their dreams. They decided to give long distance a try, but be upfront and honest about it if things weren’t working out. What they had was not worth ruining.

But, in this moment, they were very much together, basking in the glory of their love, and nothing could ever change the way they felt for each other.

Zack left for Yale first. Dolores was to start her trip and make her way to Barcelona in about twenty days. She couldn’t see him off at the airport. When you truly love someone, goodbye can crush your soul. And she didn’t want to break down in public. They said their goodbyes in her room the night before.

Zack gifted her a watch that she had spotted at a store window months ago, and Dolores gave him a blank journal that she made from scratch. They promised to stay in touch, no matter what happens, as they held hands while lying on her floor, staring at their sky, for the last time.

When the first ray of morning light shone through her window, it was time for Zack to leave for home. He reluctantly let go of her hand. She felt the wrists unclasp, the fingers withdraw, and the hand depart from hers. They looked away from each and made their way towards the door.

It tore Dolores in half as she felt like she was losing a part of herself. Zack couldn’t look at her any longer without falling apart, and he didn’t want to do that to her — Not now.

“Take care of yourself, Dolores,” said Zack. “I will always love you,” replied Dolores.

We will always have Paris.

When one person sits in a college cafeteria, and the other is just returning from a day spent at the Van Gogh museum, it’s trying to have a coherent conversation.

When you don’t know what’s happening in the other person’s life, it seems like you have to play catch up all the time. Most of the duration of their talks became informative and left little room for interesting discussions.

Slowly, calls grew smaller and then turned into voicemails. Messages remained unanswered for hours. At this point, they were more friends than lovers and seemed to be checking up on each other ritualistically.

A “How are you?” from Dolores, which used to make Zack open up and let out all his feelings, didn’t sound the same anymore. Dolores was unable to relate to his college life, as she was busy not having a semblance of routine in hers. She felt like she had to tone down her positive experiences, excitement, and enthusiasm as she encountered them without him.

They tried their best to keep the relationship alive, but eventually, it became impossible to do so. Pain started taking over as the primary feeling in their relationship, over love, which was once the reigning queen.

It was time to call it. Six months after their in-person goodbye, Dolores and Zack decided to break up. They were realistic, as planned. They mutually agreed to part ways. It was the hardest thing that either of them would have to go through in their lives, by a considerable margin. It shattered them, and at the beginning, neither of them knew how to put the pieces back together.

But, they were sure of one thing: it was not a love lost; instead, a love gained. They had changed each other’s life, irrevocably, and were always going to be together in mind and spirit.

Carrying a little piece of each other in their hearts, they began the arduous process of moving on.

Zach graduated from Yale and went on to Stanford for Business school as planned. He opted for a moderate class load at both places and worked at a comfortable pace.

He made friends, real ones. Zack watched games, hiked, and went for bar crawls on weekends. Dolores’s stir fry was a big hit in his dorm, and he was better for having learned the art of doing simple things just for the pleasure of doing them.

He got the job he wanted, and in the next few years, fulfilled the dream: making it into 30 under 30 lists, buying a house, car, and more. He also about to bid on a vacation house with three of his friends.

Zack received frequent promotions, made some pretty sweet dough, and was able to help his parents settle in Florida. There they took victory laps at social gatherings, receiving high praises for a job well done and, in return, shared more glorious tales of their high achieving son.

“I am proud of you,” said his father at a company party thrown in his honor. Zack felt like a crushing weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

In the beginning, he felt every accomplishment, milestone, and achievement unlocked. He had done pretty well for himself, and nothing had come easy. Now was the time to reap the rewards. But, he found it challenging to make it through the seven-year itch and recognized that emptiness had started to creep in.

The panoramic view of the sunset from his penthouse apartment did not seem to be transcendental anymore. The expensive coffee beans tasted bitter. Money stopped being a differentiator, and swiping his Platinum Amex to buy the new iPhone, a first-class ticket to Maui, or the latest BMW, did not have the same ring as before.

He found himself in yet another routine, which he had little to no control over. And he found himself going through the motions of life.

On a friend’s recommendation, he visited a therapist. They had a pleasant conversation, and Zack explained his problems in detail. It was great to talk to somebody who was willing to listen. In their second session, the therapist asked him an interesting question, “Can you describe the last time you felt happy?”.

Zack closed his eyes and tried to swipe through his memories, looking for moments where he felt a lasting sense of happiness. He was immediately transported to a day at the beach, spent with Dolores, days before he left for college. He had been going to beaches all his life, but Dolores had introduced him to having fun at the beach.

They read books while lying next to each other on a towel. Dolores read Moby Dick, and he read Jane Eyre. They spent some time in the sea, swimming, chasing waves, and splashing water. He remembered the serene look on her face while she floated on the shallow sea. It was as if all the troubles in her world had vanished away, and she could be at one with herself, experiencing a rare form of peace.

His memory zapped back to the book that he was reading. How he felt when words came alive, how closing his eyes could allow him to stand beside Jane and see Thornfield’s gardens — That was happiness.

Zack applied for a sabbatical from work. He locked up his apartment and went to his vacation home with his most prized possessions, books gifted by Dolores. He spent his days sitting on the beach chairs on his front porch, reading, and staring into the ocean’s vast expanse.

He felt happiness, joy, pleasure, excitement, hope, turmoil, and pain in the world of books. Slowly, he started feeling something for a few moments every day in the world around him as well. He was finally paying attention to himself.

Dolores made her way through Europe, Southeast Asia, and Japan to return to her house a year later.

While walking through the idyllic streets of Salzburg, she experienced a spectacular sunrise. When she saw the Eiffel tower light up, tears streamed across her face. She gorged on food to her heart’s content and then some in Bangkok’s night market.

And when she stood outside her hostel in Tsunoshima and walked towards the calm blue waters as if drawn towards them by a magnetic force, she felt like she could finally breathe. She could hear herself think and feel the pain washing away.

She spent less than a month at her house, planning the next steps. Dolores had several life-changing experiences in her trip, met many interesting people, and saw beauty in nature that she had only read about in books. But, her real-life was waiting for her here, and she needed to take control of it.

She got a job, moved out of her parents’ house, and enrolled herself in a state university. She committed herself to school, worked two jobs to support herself, and managed household responsibilities. Zack had taught her the power of hard work and how to go after something you want. And for the first time, she didn’t want to let herself down.

At night when she lay awake in bed, Dolores reminisced about her past. She saw blurred visions of the walks on the beach, the ideas shared, and the laughs enjoyed. Going from having someone to share your life with to having no one to ask you how you are, was a difficult transition for her.

She hated her jobs, not the job per se, but the interaction with people. Listening to music alone didn’t do the trick as well, as if she had forgotten how. And staring at the blank ceiling became challenging after a while as she kept thinking of the one with glow in the dark stars.

Finally, Dolores fulfilled her dream of moving to New York City when she was accepted into a Master of Arts program. What one feels while seeing the Manhattan skyline for the first time emerge beneath the clouds like a majestic canvas of human creation cannot be accurately described in words.

I did it. I am here. And now there’s no looking back.

Everything in her life had been driven by anger and rebellion until now, and she needed to change that. At times, when one finds themselves burdened by their thoughts and negative experiences, the best course of action is to rewire oneself. To break the connections made on the surface and discover what lies deep within.

She needed to lose herself, then find herself and focus on the positive things she wanted out of life.

As she sat by the window in a cafe in Brooklyn, all by herself, listening to the Imagine Dragons sing It’s time, staring at the swarm of people walking by, she felt calm. The table was a little off-balance, the coffee could use another sweetener, and her laptop had only 20% of battery left, but these things didn’t bother her.

She continued to do nothing for another hour. She people watched, ate muffins, and read for a bit. She felt content.

After their separation, Zack and Dolores emailed a couple of times and did not unfriend each other on Facebook. This was the extent of their relationship. It is difficult to be friends with someone who used to be a keeper of your heart. After their devastating breakup, they gave each some much-needed space to reimagine their lives alone.

As neither of them were avid social media users, they didn’t get to know everything about the other person, but they did witness the significant life events and a few bonus details every now and then.

Dolores saw that Zack had found his passion, quit his high-profile job, and had written a bestselling book. She shot him a brief email congratulating him and ordered a copy of his book off Amazon.

Good for him. He deserves to be happy and more.

He shared pictures of himself with friends, hosted online book clubs, and frequently reviewed local eateries. He enjoyed cooking, running with his dog, and intermittently shared his work — quality, highly personal, self-help articles.

Zack saw that Dolores had become an English teacher.

Those children are incredibly lucky. They will be introduced to some radical ideas, an excellent taste in books, and learn to think for themselves.

Dolores still sold her artwork, now on Etsy, and sometimes in flea markets. She was part of a band called We-Don’t-Stick-To-A-Lane, they performed covers in local bars and shared videos of the same on Youtube. Her rendition of Killing me softly was hauntingly beautiful.

She posted innumerable pictures of her cat, shared quotes from the books that she read, and occasionally ranted about important stuff like how Starbucks didn’t fill their cups all the way through.

Dolores had met a few men, some interesting and some not so much. Although she did not have much luck with relationships, she knew how to take care of herself while dating. She developed a test based on the gold standard laid down by Zack.

Dolores knew what good love felt like, how relationships need to have mutual respect, and that she shouldn’t waste her time on any man who found her difficult or a bit too much.

Zack was engaged once. He met someone through his family’s friends, and they were similar in nature — a perfect fit on paper. The relationship wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great either. The engagement didn’t survive his career change, and his fiancee decided to move on, as she didn’t get what she signed up for.

Zack agreed as he knew what real love felt like. He knew that in a good relationship, partners support each other through thick and thin. A good companion would love him for who he was as a person, and anything else was not going to work.

It had been seventeen and half years since Dolores and Zack stood in her room, holding hands, saying their goodbyes.

They weren’t an active part of each other’s lives, but it didn’t seem so, because they were a permanent part of each other. They had taught each other invaluable life-lessons that helped them take the necessary steps to live the life they each wanted.

The most important thing they shared was their love. The kind of love which consumes you, makes your heart ache, sweeps you up, and leaves you in a better place than where you started. Love that makes you feel worthy, compels you to introspect, and makes you feel safe.

They were both grateful for what they had experienced, and if Dolores or Zack had to go back in time and do things differently, they wouldn’t. In this case, it was better to have loved and lost.

Dolores read Zack’s book and carried it around with her for some time. One of her students noticed it on her desk and asked her what she thought of it. “It’s such an honest and insightful retelling of his journey from college to the big leagues to nowhere and back to himself. It also speaks volumes about our collective lack of understanding of the human mind,” stated Dolores.

After her next class, a few excited students gathered around her to ask her how she knew Zack. “I went to high-school with him,” replied Dolores, not wanting to give more information than necessary. “Wait a minute, are you the Dolores from his other book?” asked Sadie.

“Which book?”

Dolores found out about Zack’s first book, a semi-fiction piece, based on his teenage years, which had sold a little less than five hundred copies. Sadie gladly lent her a copy. “I really think it’s you,” she said while handing over a blue colored book… Zack’s book…based on his life….Was she ready for this?

Unable to stand the suspense, Dolores read the whole thing in one sitting. Yes, it was true — he had dedicated a character to her. Zack called her beautiful, incredibly inconsistent, and ahead of her time. He revealed the substantial impact she had on him and disclosed that he envied her fearlessness. The book Dolores was smart, badass, and had a fantastic sense of humor.

There was also a possibility that the entire book was dedicated to her. The first page read, “To the woman with the indomitable spirit that taught me to think for myself.” But, she didn’t know for sure.

It could be somebody else; after all, it has been eighteen years.

In the book, Dolores and Zack stayed together and were ride or die. And they fell more deeply in love with each passing day. She wept uncontrollably when she read that last line.

Could they have another story, in real life as well?

Before she knew it, Dolores found herself, buying a plane ticket to Seattle, where Zack lived. She found out from Facebook that he was doing a meet-and-greet at a local bookstore, and decided to meet him there.

Zack loved these interactions with his readers. Knowing that you have incited a tiny bit of change, and made someone think, can be the greatest gift for a writer.

He had been following his passion for three years now, and could vividly recollect, how he had very naturally, started jotting down his thoughts at the beach house.

If the past few years were to be described as being alive, he didn’t know what to think of his life from before. It was as if a light switch had flicked on, and he could see very clearly that this was what he wanted — what he was always meant to do. He had found his purpose, and in pursuing it, he had found himself.

He broke away from his thoughts, to chat with the young man in front of him, not much older than he was — when he was with her.

And his attention wavered as he thought he saw something….Could that really be….Dolores. He stared at the beautiful girl picking out books, while already holding a large pile in one hand.

She looks the same as she did then, when she waited for him to leave the supermarket aisle, but also peeped at him from time to time.

He could have spotted her easily anywhere, even amongst a crowd. That head of lustrous wavy brown hair was unmistakable. Clad in ripped skinny jeans, a faded Guns N’ Roses t-shirt (hopefully the one they picked out together at a thrift store), boots, and a pleather jacket, Dolores was a sight for sore eyes.

She spotted him too and smiled at him. The infectious smile that made his heart skip a beat, feel weak in the knees, and punched in the gut simultaneously. The smile he could give his life for, to keep on her face — In a heartbeat.

“Hi Stranger,” said Dolores. “Hi,” replied Zack. “You dedicated a character to me,” said Dolores while taking his book out of her bag and waving it in front of his face. “Yes, I did, and the book too, by the way.” “I think that’s the reason it didn’t sell,” Dolores remarked cheekily.

“So when can you get out of here?” she asked. “In an hour. How about we meet at the cafe across the road?” replied Zack. “Cool. I will save you a seat. And I can’t wait to introduce you to K-pop.”

Zack took a deep inhale after she left. He hadn’t been breathing since he first caught a glimpse of her. He couldn’t believe his eyes. Was she really here?

He didn’t know if she was dating someone. He wasn’t. Writers aren’t exactly a hot commodity in the dating market, and he had become a little famous only recently. He hadn’t exercised in two years and, in his mind, looked very different from his former self.

Should the coffee be more than coffee? Zack wondered.

Well, he was going to try. He wasn’t ready to let Dolores go a second time. He was going to choose her, choose them, and give them a real chance.

We belong together.

In the last couple of years, he had unearthed and internalized many realizations, the most important one being that good love is hard — but it’s worth it. And someone who gets you, challenges you, and makes you feel grateful for being born is worth fighting for and keeping in your life.

58 minutes to go. I can’t stand it.