LIFE LESSONS | SELF IMPROVEMENT
Should You Expose Lies Or Deal With Them Creatively?
Best to be a little creative as lies are a sensitive issue if caught
Do you tell lies?
Everyone tells lies!
My father is not at home screamed the little child! He was told to tell a lie by his parents and he did.
The salesman went back and found that the child’s father was right there.
This was a lie but a harmless lie.
The salesman probably knew it in his heart but he did not expose the lie since he had some work with the father and this lie did not really harm him in any way.
The salesman exposed the lie artfully and obliquely by creatively going back to find out and was able to meet the child’s father.
These types of lies are not important in a person’s life. Such lies are told when a person is tired and is not in a position to meet another person because he knows that it can be a long meeting.
Another possibility is that the father was doing another task or had another commitment that was his priority and the salesman could be dealt with later.
Yet when children tell us lies we correct them because it is sad that they are sometimes vicious and it hurts others.
There are several lies that are hard-hitting and vicious that adults say. It is difficult to deal with them if It is with the intent of hurting others. Undercutting or doing something by which the other person will be affected a lot.
To categorize lies I grew up by learning about four colours of lies
White
Grey
Black
and
Red
A White Lie is when you tell a lie for somebody’s good. You try to protect someone. Such lies are quite acceptable.
A Grey Lie is when you help others or when you help yourself. It is a mechanism of protection for some incident either for someone or when it affects you.
A Black Lie is when you are selfish and tell a lie to hurt others or to get out of some trouble. You are part of an incident and you know the harm that you do through telling a lie but you still tell that lie to gain an advantage in life.
A Red Lie is when the intent of the lie is malicious and told to harm another. They are revengeful and done to spite another.
Do you trust a compulsive liar? Some people always tell lies. It is their habit to do so. I call them compulsive liars. There are many such people in my life. I know that they are telling lies but I don’t care about it because most of them are harmless grey lies. However I do not trust them.
I am sure you would be knowing such people too and completely discounting them, A friend of mine promises to give her notes to someone or a recipe or simply a promise to visit her but never turns up or keeps her promises. I am so used to her telling lies that when she actually keeps her commitment I am shocked beyond belief.
My friend promised me that we would go and watch a movie together. The movie hall was close to my house so I bought the tickets.
“ Oh, I am just leaving my house my friend said when I called to remind her of the time of the movie”.
She did not turn up and it was almost time for the movie so I left a message that I was going to the movie hall and would wait over there.
She did not come and it was time for the show. I left a message. Going inside to see the show, leaving your ticket with one of the snack corners who will hand over the ticket when you come.
My friend came after the interval, almost towards the end of the movie. you stop trusting these people. They are good friends. You maintain your manners and courtesy but do not trust them at all.
SUCH LIES HAVE NO LEGS
You do not expose them, you deal with them creatively but you also do not trust them.
How to deal with lies creatively?
As a child, my mother always told me a story and said be careful, be creative and don’t directly attack liars because they can bite really hard.
She told me a very creative story. I repeat this story to my students and many times even in forums. I am sure a lot of you would have heard this story but I am going to narrate it to you before I close.
A man had taken a heavy loan from a money lender. He could not pay back as he was running into losses. The interest kept on adding up but the moneylender could not return the money.
The moneylender had eyes on her and was keen to marry her.
He proposed, but she rejected the offer. The moneylender again proposed and said, “Your father will be free of his debt if you marry me”.
The interest kept adding on. One day the moneylender said in public. I will throw a deal. I will give you a different proposal.
“I will put two seeds in a box. A white and a black. If she chooses the white seed she is free and can exert her wish to marry anyone. The debt becomes free also. If she chooses the black seed she will have to marry me. In any case she has to play this game and choose”.
The public urged her to try her luck as her father will be freed of his debt in either circumstance. She was cajoled into the act or she would appear very selfish if she chose not to do the act.
The young girl was in agreement finally.
The moneylender tossed the two seeds in his hands and put them in the box and asked the girl to take out one in full view of the people.
She took out one seed and threw it on the ground. It went rolling down the hill. Everybody looked for it but could not find it.
She was very creative. She had actually seen the money lender put both black seeds in the box and had lied that he had put one white and one black seed.
She did not expose him directly but creatively.
She said since one seed had rolled down let us look at the other one as the seed must be of a different colour.
The box was opened and there was a BLACK seed in it.
This meant that the young girl had selected the white seed.
The moneylender knew he had lied as the box contained both black seeds but could not do anything.
The girl was free and so was her father. No more debt.
Lesson learned
Use creative solutions to expose the truth. Be alert and stay alert always. Be careful when you tell lies. Another person may be more creative and will expose you in some way or the other that your lie will be exposed.
LIES DO NOT HAVE LEGS
©Dr. Preeti Singh, 2021. All rights are reserved by the author.