Should You Be Yourself?

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Abstract

e of course.So what does authenticity mean? On first look, it’s looking inward and assessing your “true” self. Then bringing whatever that turns out to be to the fore. It’s generally piped as accepting weaknesses and highlighting strengths. It’s accepting ourselves as the world has made us. But it’s also relinquishing our involvement in that process.We are all made up of a series of patterns. Learned and ingrained behaviours that all but govern our daily lives. And while some scientists have shown that this <a href="https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2005/03/050321083933.htm">extends to complex behaviours</a>, others believe that they may not be hardwired, but <a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/product/identifier/S0140525X15000643/type/JOURNAL_ARTICLE">largely unconscious</a>. Basically, your consciousness is the middle man between your unconscious and the environment and does very little. The analogy used is that of an inept CEO—the company does the work and the boss takes the credit.So why are we constantly ushered towards finding our true selves when it’s near impossible to be anything but? Put another way, all the stuff you don’t like about yourself is your true self. You are you whether you like it or not.Fortunately, the CEO is still in charge. And while we may be slaves to our unconscious 98% of the time, that 2% is all our consciousnesses need to choose differently. It doesn’t matter whether free will exists or not, it matters whether we are aware of the choice.But change is hard. And it’s not our fault. We are products of our environments and our upbringing, our genes and our health. But we’re still responsible for our actions and lives. Whether it is fair or not is inconsequential, considering the vast amount of events

Options

that occur outside of our control—both internally and externally. We have to deal with consequences.So what we should really do is decide on who we want to be, look deep within, and identify what needs to change to become that person.Stopping at being yourself relinquishes the power we all have to be better. And that’s fine if you’re happy with how things in your life have gone so far. By all means, accept away.But if you’re not, why keep doing the things that have caused unrest? Why perpetuate the patterns that create conflict in your life? Because—hate to break it to you—it’s your fault. It’s unfair, I know.Here’s the thing, we’re going to change anyway. We have to. We are under a constant barrage of stimuli. That process will happen whether we do something or not. Our choice is whether to be consciously involved.If we’re not, we may end up better than we are. We might make friends with the right influences, or get into an environment that brings out the best in us. Or we might not. Looking at the state of the world, I wouldn’t say it’s likely.Is it worth leaving to the stars? Or is something that we should take control over and play a part in creating. That’s what real authenticity is. It’s deciding who to be and choosing to be that person consistently.<h1 id="bebc">Before you go</h1>I’ve set a goal to grow to 1,000 subscribers of <a href="https://renaissanceman.substack.com">my newsletter</a> before the end of August. I’d really appreciate it if you helped me get there.All the best and thanks again,RM<figure id="38b0"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*u9dh85Xu_Zx-q9Vphyu3Tg.png"><figcaption></figcaption></figure></article></body>

Spoiler: not if you’re unhappy with your life

Be yourself.

It’s a platitude so many of us have heard all too often and, whether we roll our eyes at the cliche or try our best to actively engage the wisdom beneath it, most wouldn’t question the wisdom its self.

Authenticity is, after all, one of the most sought after character traits. It is the reason that we still get along with that asshole friend who completely owns it. They’re being true to who they really are. Everyone is a little bit of an asshole and they’re just being honest about it, right?

But if we take a step back and reexamine what it means to be authentic, we’re not really responding to the trait. Rather, it’s the predictability that we enjoy. We crave stability and order. But the natural world, although objectively predictable and ordered, is not experienced that way. There are simply too many variables.

So we create order. We carve out predictable environments in an attempt to control capriciousness. We create institutions, laws, social rituals, and the like, all to ourselves a sense of predictability.

It’s not our fault either. Evolution has made us this way. Put one human up against a bear and, the chances are, they are not coming home with a bearskin. But against three humans? The bear is toast. It’s our ingenuity that has got us to where we are, our ability to co-operate. We excel in groups, up to a certain size of course.

So what does authenticity mean? On first look, it’s looking inward and assessing your “true” self. Then bringing whatever that turns out to be to the fore. It’s generally piped as accepting weaknesses and highlighting strengths. It’s accepting ourselves as the world has made us. But it’s also relinquishing our involvement in that process.

We are all made up of a series of patterns. Learned and ingrained behaviours that all but govern our daily lives. And while some scientists have shown that this extends to complex behaviours, others believe that they may not be hardwired, but largely unconscious. Basically, your consciousness is the middle man between your unconscious and the environment and does very little. The analogy used is that of an inept CEO—the company does the work and the boss takes the credit.

So why are we constantly ushered towards finding our true selves when it’s near impossible to be anything but? Put another way, all the stuff you don’t like about yourself is your true self. You are you whether you like it or not.

Fortunately, the CEO is still in charge. And while we may be slaves to our unconscious 98% of the time, that 2% is all our consciousnesses need to choose differently. It doesn’t matter whether free will exists or not, it matters whether we are aware of the choice.

But change is hard. And it’s not our fault. We are products of our environments and our upbringing, our genes and our health. But we’re still responsible for our actions and lives. Whether it is fair or not is inconsequential, considering the vast amount of events that occur outside of our control—both internally and externally. We have to deal with consequences.

So what we should really do is decide on who we want to be, look deep within, and identify what needs to change to become that person.

Stopping at being yourself relinquishes the power we all have to be better. And that’s fine if you’re happy with how things in your life have gone so far. By all means, accept away.

But if you’re not, why keep doing the things that have caused unrest? Why perpetuate the patterns that create conflict in your life? Because—hate to break it to you—it’s your fault. It’s unfair, I know.

Here’s the thing, we’re going to change anyway. We have to. We are under a constant barrage of stimuli. That process will happen whether we do something or not. Our choice is whether to be consciously involved.

If we’re not, we may end up better than we are. We might make friends with the right influences, or get into an environment that brings out the best in us. Or we might not. Looking at the state of the world, I wouldn’t say it’s likely.

Is it worth leaving to the stars? Or is something that we should take control over and play a part in creating. That’s what real authenticity is. It’s deciding who to be and choosing to be that person consistently.