Should I Be Called A Queen?

Maybe. Here are some exceptions…

After reading Johnny Silvercloud ‘s “Don’t Call Me King” article, it inspired me to think about what I prefer being called and why. Sometimes introspection is the best tool to have to keep yourself grounded and humble.

The Game of Life v. The Game of Chess

In chess, the Queen is always next to the King.

This is my current position.

I don’t walk behind my husband. I stand beside him. Even if I were not married, I would still consider myself “whole”

My husband carries himself as the victor. As a proud husband. As a King. I am by his side, and we make decisions together. In chess, the queen can make more moves and is the most powerful piece on the board though.

But do you know what the Queen’s original title was in chess?

Advisor.

“I’d like to be queen of people’s hearts.” — Princess Diana

When people (particularly men) call me Queen, I imagine a regal woman who is strategic. A go-getter. Someone who always had high confidence and self-esteem. A woman born into wealth both physical and mental.

I feel like a fraud sometimes.

I definitely do not and did not carry myself as a Queen should when I was growing up. I was more of a princess or better yet, an information key. In my family, I was the human Google. I did not raise my head high, I kept it low to the books, helping friends seek out medical answers, dating advice or questions about the constellations.

When I think about it, in many ways I could be the Rook or the Pawn in the game of chess.

Sometimes I am just as powerful as a queen. Other times I am the foot soldier taking care of business near the trenches.

There were always woman kings

In his article, Johnny says he doesn’t want to be called a King because Kings have subjects.

Peasants.

Kings can be tyrants. In fact, many of them are.

I agree.

Women complain today that men aren’t kings, but I suspect that no one knows the history of how a king REALLY gets down. If you look to the bible, most kings were tyrannical and used other people’s sons on the front lines for war.

They were greedy.

Narcissists.

Stole lands.

Geesh!

After reading the Destruction of Black Civilization, I learned about a few amazing queens.

First up, is Queen Nefertari. She shows up during the 18th Dynasty in Thebes. This was during a time where African leaders were immortalized. Their names ring forever.

Queen Nefertari reportedly had strong leadership skills and helped her son Amenhotep in national reconstruction.

Second, we have the mysterious Queen Hatshepsut, who in history, was referred to as “The Greatest Woman Pharoah” of Egypt. This woman knew when to use her feminine charms to get her way, and also would sometimes arrive to meetings in men’s wear with a full false beard!

It is said she had the mentality of a man and “actively pursued interests closest to her people’s hearts”.

She even built navies for commerce and war and started out as both a regent and a reigning queen.

When I think about those two queens, I am astonished and inspired! No way have I truly built anything close! I don’t have strong leadership skills and I never did anything of significance on a national level.

The one Queen who takes the cake for me though, is Queen Nzinga of Matamba(1580–1663). a.k.a. the “Death Defying Queen” who was one of the greatest military strategists of all time. She confronted the armed forces of Portugal and fought hard against the slave trade.

It is written that when the Portuguese governor did not offer Queen Nzinga a chair to sit in, she used one of her subordinates’ back to sit down upon.

Now that is one bad Mama Jama!

I don’t think I would have been so bold and creative at the same time.

I’m too introverted to be a powerful Queen anyway, but I can research the heck out of a topic!

Do I like being called a Queen?

Sure I do!

It’s positive and apparently in chess, it’s the Queen with much power. Plus, the idea of a Queen has such regal appeal.

Some Queens reigned terror down on people, like Mary Tudor I or “Bloody Mary” who was known for her vigorous attempts at reform through bloody violence — burning several hundred protestants at the stake, lots of beheadings happened during her reign too.

In that regard, no, I’d rather not be called a Queen.

Yet, since a Queen is someone who is by her man’s side and has some power due to him, then yes, I am a Queen by default, and I love when my husband calls me that, because I know it comes from a place of genuine love and perhaps, he sees greater qualities in me than I see in myself.

There are woman kings too.

The reason why fictional Nanisca in The Woman King movie is not considered a Queen, is because she is second to none. She is all woman, yet has all the power of a King.

So, feel free to call me a Queen. Just know that I’ll accept it as you telling me I am next to my King or that I am just a good advisor.

Thank you for reading!

References:

Williams, Chancellor. The Destruction of Black Civilization: Great Issues of a Race From 4500B.C to 2,000 A.D, 1987.