Sheer Lunacy

To experience it go outside

What are you thinking?

Oh gosh, where do I start? I’ve got a thousand thoughts running through my noggin.

What are you feeling?

Huh? Feeling? Uh… I don’t know. I’ll have to think about that.

No, feelings; not thoughts. Let your thoughts evaporate. Go into your feelings. Feelings are feelings. They get corrupted when you think about them. Don’t think; just feel. Let the feelings come up.

What the hell are you? Some kind of noggin doctor?

No, I’m trying to get you out of your freaking noggin. Forget all thoughts. Stop thinking. Just feel. What comes up?

Okay. (He closed his eyes and tried to empty his noggin and just feel.)

There was a very long pause.

Okay, I feel like my life is fucked up. I feel like everything I do is blocked. I feel strangled. I feel like my hands are tied. I feel like the more I try, the more I fail. I feel like everyone hates me. I feel like I am locked out of life. I feel like I’m banging my head against a wall. I feel like I’m some kind of alien or something. I don’t fit into the rest of humanity. I feel almost like I don’t exist or something.

Okay, then…

I feel like I don’t matter.

Are you looking outside of yourself for validation? Are you looking in the mirror or are you looking at the mirror of your immediate environment? What mirror are you looking in?

What the fuck are you talking about?

You can look to society to define you. Or you can look in the mirror. Or you can stop looking and instead FEEL.

Huh?

You can stop defining things. You can stop thinking. You can stop searching for a place to fit into. You can stop re-configuring what you see in the mirror. You can stop trying to be anything that is not truly you. You can stop creating a mask that you present to the world. You can stop lying. You can go within you and BE THAT.

Huh?

You can stop resisting life. Life is not something to fit into. It is already within you and it is without you. Life is. It is not something to react to. It is something to flow with. Don’t resist it. Don’t try to change it. Don’t try to alter it to fit your emotions or expectations or desires. Embrace it and move through it instead of against it. You are surrounded by life. Anything and everything can be found in it. You will realize this when you stop thinking.

But to stop thinking goes against everything I’ve ever been taught. It goes against every inclination I have.

And feeling?

Feeling is something I’ve always been taught to ignore. Thinking is what I’ve been conditioned to put before feeling. I’ve been trained to rely on logic and reasoning above all else. Our entire society is based on thinking. Those who go by feeling are lunatics.

Lunatics, huh? Funny you should mention that. The full moon is today. After the sun sets tonight why don’t you go outside and stare at the full moon for about a half hour or so. The full moon is the ultimate mirror. It not only reflects our mental, emotional and spiritual state but it is also an opening we can look through. It is a portal that we can look through and see our part in the All That Is.

Okay, now you’re talking total woo-woo. Why don’t you go stare at the fucking moon all night. I prefer to stay in reality.

And what reality is that? Is it the one you’re so unhappy with? The one that is so frustrating? The one that seems to block your happiness? The one you bitch about all the time?

Looking at the fucking moon isn’t going to change a thing.

No, it won’t. It all depends on how you look at it. Looking at anything is determined by how you see it.

Jesus H. Christ, are you done yet?

I guess I am.

Good. Then get out of here. I’ve got a life to live and I don’t have time for your nonsense.

Copyright by White Feather. All Rights Reserve. This is a work of fiction.

Speaking of full moons…