TRAVELLING WITH ADRIENNE

She Screamed At Me, “You’re a Racist!”

What…?

I sat on my bunk, stunned. She continued yelling. “All you people are the same! You think because I’m Polish I’m the cleaner!.”

I did think she was the cleaner but I had no idea she was Polish. How would I know that? I was filling in the review of this hostel and I asked her if she was responsible for the cleaning of the private room that I moved out of, to be in this dorm. The actual cleaning lady is similar in looks and you know how I have trouble recognising faces.

I still said nothing. She kept on screaming. “You are racist! You are racist! You are racist! You think because you’re white you’re better than everyone else. You come from criminals!” She continued screaming and ranting about Indians and how they were treated even though they were doctors. I was stunned. All I could say was “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

She stormed out of the room yelling and then crying. She was talking to the cleaning lady and they were hugging and she was still crying.

I felt so bad for assuming she was the cleaner. I went out to her and apologised again. She said, “You spoke to me yesterday. You knew I was a guest.”

I apologised again for not recognising her and told her I have a problem with faces and sometimes I don’t even recognise my own children. She calmed down a little and said her mother has the same problem. I apologised again and said I would be the least racist person I know. I judge people individually and would never assume because someone is of a particular nationality that I was better than them. She then asked me how old I was. When I answered 73, she started apologising to me saying she thought I was about 55.

She gave me the biggest hug and then we started talking like normal people. We chatted about anything and everything. She explained why she had reacted so vehemently. I completely understood the trauma she has been through both in the US and Canada where even though she’s a highly educated intelligent woman, people treated her as a second-class citizen because she’s Polish.

She’s lived in India and the people she met there were welcoming and suffered the same discrimination as she has in “Western countries” even though they were doctors!

I mentioned I had Pakistani friends and told her their life story. People say they have (insert nationality here) friends and they just know them — they are not actually friends. I wanted to assure her that they really were my friends. I’m not racist. If I like someone, I don’t care what nationality they are. I then listed all of my family members who are married to different nationalities. There are quite a few.

We talked for hours. She is the loveliest woman I’ve met in Poland. But what a start to our friendship! She had a conference to attend and I had to go to the train station to get my reserved seat for Monday’s train to Gdansk.

More hugs. We parted friends.

She even has a boyfriend for me in Sopot, Gdansk’s beach-side town. He’s 72, and very fit. I have some photos of him and his name. Will I be able to find this mystery man on the beach?