She Married a Dog. No, Not a Jerk. Like, Bark! Bark!
An exploration of human-animal marriage, consent, and animal rights.
I love my cat. I made a Tik Tok channel for him. He makes me laugh, he is caring and hilarious. He sleeps on my bed, I feed him, he bites me. It’s a normal cat-human relationship. If someone asked me if I would like to marry my cat, I’d admit I love him, but just like Meat Loaf said, “I won’t do that.” Technically, human-animal marriage is not outlined in many national laws and is therefore not illegal in some countries, although bestiality is (Panigrahi, 2020). Just because something isn’t illegal doesn’t make it right.
My worries about human-animal marriage
I’m not one to judge people’s partners, but I do take it seriously that when you marry someone, there should be no force, which puts into question child marriages and mail-order spouses. But we’re not talking about that. However, in a similar way, I don’t think you should force anyone, because of status, or species, to marry you. And I do believe there is an element of force when it comes to human-animal marriage. To sum it up, I worry about
- Consent
- Rights of animals
Consent
In 2009, Wilhelmina Morgan Callaghan of Northern Ireland married her Yorkshire Terrier, Henry (Hosie, 2017). Since it is illegal to marry animals in the UK, she held a spiritual wedding, although she does have a marriage certificate. There are many more cases around the world, including of a woman who married her cats and a man who married a horse.
Callaghan thanks Henry for his loyalty even when times got rocky after the wedding.
‘“I lost my job in a morgue, so was forced to become a freelance embalmer, there is not much money in that, and then my house flooded. But Henry has been great throughout — he is so loyal’” (Hosie, 2017).
Can animals consent to marriage? Well, animals have been sentenced to death for crimes. A bull was convicted of murder for killing a child in 1499, and a pig was hanged for eating an infant’s face in 1494. But I think there are flaws here. Most animals follow their instinct and don’t possess enough long-term thinking to murder someone. At most, they should have been convicted of manslaughter.
So, if animals supposedly have enough free will to commit “murder,” it might follow that they have enough awareness to agree to the marriage. Perhaps at Gallaghan and Henry´s wedding, the officiant said, “If you take Wilhelmina to be your wife, blink twice”? But normally, those who can choose to marry can also choose to divorce. What happens if your pet, excuse me, canine husband or wife decides to marry someone else? Technically, if they have their own free will, you would have to let them do it. If we grant animals human rights or better said, conceive of their actions under an anthropomorphic lens, we open the doors to human-animal marriage.
Results of a 2015 Gallup poll found that almost 33% of people in the US believe that animals should have the same rights as humans (Martin, 2019). But which rights exactly, you might ask?
Animal(/human?) rights
Animal rights groups assert that people should protect an animal's right to live. These people might say it’s hypocritical for meat-eaters to take issue with human-animal marriage because at least it is based on love. I do think making equivalence between animals and humans is rife with ethical issues. I was a vegan for 6 years. I was extremely upset, and still am upset, with some members of the PETA and the vegan movement for making misleading equivalents between animals and enslaved Africans to advance a worldwide vegan lifestyle.
In essence, these activists were saying, “We treated enslaved Africans like animals, and they were animals. We haven’t learned from that mistake. We’re still treating animals like animals by eating them. It’s an outrage!” I almost never see the same PETA folks marching for racial justice, only standing with trauma-porn posters in town squares when you’re trying to enjoy your meal or take a stroll in the commons (I’m talking about you all in Miraflores, Parque Kennedy!).
Is domestication of animals against human rights
Herein lies another question: What are animal rights, aside from the right to life, kind treatment, medical care, education (training), and lodgings? If we believe that animals have rights we need to ask, ‘which animals,’ and ‘which rights?’
For example, some people believe that the domestication of animals is an act against their will. They believe that cats and dogs are treated as playthings of humans, that should be left on their own, like wild animals, not bred to obey or console human beings. So, is domestication against the rights of animals? If that were the case, then marriage between humans and animals would infringe on animal rights.
Animals usually choose mates of their own species or partners of their own species. If an animal has been trained to obey, which it has, through personalized training or the legacy of dog breeding, can we say that animals have a choice in marriage, or are they just “doing what their master says?” Especially in the case of dogs. I have a feeling that a cat would not want to marry a human. Ever. We are an inferior species.
This is not the same as people who marry a sex doll, hologram, or anime character. These people in relationships with electronics have been termed “digisexuals” (Jozuka, 2019). In these cases, the “partner,” as real as it may seem, primarily exists as a representation of the human’s desires, rather than a being with a life of its own.
I don’t doubt that animals can feel love and affection towards their human owners (captors?), but what we make of this may be our own projections of marriage and partnership, like a furry Rorschach test. In the end, we may have some thorny ethical issues to address with these human-animal marriages.
Thanks for reading,
~MJ
References
Hosie, R. (2017, October 11). Woman who married dog eight years ago says he’s “perfect” for her. Independent. https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/woman-married-dog-8-years-perfect-her-marriage-animal-wilhelmina-morgan-callaghan-northern-ireland-a7994626.html
Jozuka, E. (2019, December 18). Beyond dimension: The man who married a hologram. CNN. https://www.cnn.com/2018/12/28/health/rise-of-digisexuals-intl/index.html
Martin, G. (2019, April 29). I just don’t get it: Why do so many people treat pets as human equals? CalAlumni. https://alumni.berkeley.edu/california-magazine/just-in/2016-05-23/i-just-dont-get-it-why-do-so-many-people-treat-pets-human
Panigrahi, P. (2020, June 24). Is it legal to marry an animal or an inanimate object? Lawlex.org. https://lawlex.org/lex-pedia/is-it-legal-to-marry-animal/23784
Quinn, S. (2018, March 24). 10 animals that were sentenced to death for their crimes. Listverse. https://listverse.com/2018/03/24/10-animals-that-were-sentenced-to-death-for-their-crimes/
