Mental Health
She Didn’t Want Her Son-In-Law Wiping Her Butt
A bidet toilet seat enabled Mom to keep her dignity
“My caregiver mantra is to remember: the only control you have is over the changes you choose to make.” ― Nancy L. Kriseman, Mindful Caregiver: Finding Easecb: Finding Ease in the Caregiving Journey
Finally, Mom Moves In
My friend Angie’s mother moved into Angie’s home after her mom’s long-term care facility was overwhelmed with COVID. Angie tried to get her mom to live with her for years but was unsuccessful until wave after wave of Covid attacked the assisted living facility. Her mother agreed to join her daughter and son-in-law at their home.
Angie hired a home health care aide for five days a week, four hours per day, using her mom’s various insurances. The insurance paid for three days. Angie went into her pocket for the other two days. The aide came in the mornings to get her mother up, showered, and dressed. After making breakfast, the aide maintained her medicine schedule and set up appointments for her doctors. The health aide prepared lunch for the mom before she left each day. Since Angie’s husband worked from home, he watched over her mother in the afternoons.
The husband would give the prepared lunch to the mom. After lunch, he would set her up with a cup of tea wherever she wanted to be the rest of the day. Sometimes in front of the television, other times, sitting in the yard or reading a book. When the daughter came home from work, she would relax for a moment, then take over at 7 p.m.
The three of them ate dinner together. Sometimes the husband cooked, the daughter cooked, or they ordered out. Then Angie would get her mother ready for bed by nine, checking on her throughout the night as needed. Some days were better than others, but they were satisfied with the arrangements. Their schedule was well-organized, and there were no known major issues until her mother hurt herself.
Trouble With Personal Hygiene
The mom twisted something in her back. It was painful to move her arms. She could no longer wipe herself in the bathroom. During the morning or the evening, when the home health aide or her daughter was available, this was no problem. During the middle of the day, she would not allow her son-in-law to help her in the toilet. This resulted in a sharp downfall in the mother’s cleanliness. The daughter’s life as a caregiver went from normal to complex.
They tried various things: adult diapers, Poise pads, and a bedside commode, but none worked well. The solutions were still making too much work for the daughter when she returned from work.
Diapers required that she immediately change and clean her mom. There were two issues here: One was how long the mom had to wear the dirty diapers before her daughter arrived home. The second was it was horrific to have her daughter change her adult diaper. 2. The Poise pads proved inadequate to handle the volume of an afternoon’s waste while the bedside commode still required her to wipe herself. The debris was in her bedroom until someone (her daughter) emptied it.
The home health aide suggested a bidet toilet seat.
listen) or UK: /ˈbiːdeɪ/) is a bowl or receptacle designed to be sat on for the purpose of washing the human genitalia, perineum, inner buttocks, and anus. The modern variety includes a plumbed-in water supply and a drainage opening and is thus a type of plumbing fixture subject to local hygiene regulations. The bidet is designed to promote personal hygiene and is used after defecation, and before and after sexual intercourse. — Wikipedia
The bidet would rinse off mom's butt and privates without the son-in-law interceding. The seat makes the aide’s job easier, too.
In Europe, bidets are stand-alone fixtures that are straddled. In the United States, bidets are not commonly installed in bathrooms. The CNA said the bidet toilet seat had helped several older and disabled clients with their hygiene.
The bidet toilet seat replaces the toilet seat on an existing toilet. The seat connects to the clean water supply of the existing bathroom. If it requires electrical power, it can plug into an existing wall outlet, or a new wall outlet is installed close to the toilet.
My friend located a moderately priced toilet seat bidet and had it installed in her mom’s bathroom. The price of bidet toilet seats varies a lot depending on their features. After convincing her mother to try the toilet accessory, they found the bidet was everything the product description claimed. It was a contactless device, shooting water into the needed areas, touching nothing. The bidet cleaned the mom. She needed to pat dry from the front, not reaching backward. Continued use restored her self-confidence. She could again take care of herself.
The bidet worked so well that the couple upgraded her to a Bio Bidet Premium BB2000, which included a heated butt blower, so no patting was required.
“The highly anticipated premier bidet class unveils a groundbreaking new breed of cleansing technology. Experience the distinction between the limitations of the past and the technological freedom of the Premier Bidet Class with a vast selection of cleaning methods and witness the latest level of unprecedented cleanliness with the exclusive inside-out nozzle cleaning technology. — Amazon.com
The bidet below is a standard bidet — not a Bio Bidet BB2000.
· 3 in 1 stainless steel nozzle — Offers posterior, feminine, and vortex washes improves hygiene
· Smart seat-smart decision — Streamlined comfort-adjustable heated seat and water, slow-closing lid
· Eco-friendly Energy Save Mode, reduces electricity and toilet paper, good for the environment
· Feel the difference — Oscillating wide clean and pulsating message technology with bubble infusion”
· Hybrid heating technology — Offers continuous warm water during your entire experience — Amazon.com
The Bio Bidet Premium BB2000 worked so well the daughter had one installed into her master bath and told her friends, including me, all about it. Of course, I got the premium one only after trying out the Slimedge Simple Bidet Toilet Attachment. It is a non-electric, manually directed spray attachment (not a full seat) tool that does the job and helped me decide to upgrade to a full seat. The attachment costs under $75. It is a DYI install but may require a simple value depending on your water supply. After using the attachment for a few months I upgraded to the Premium bidet seat.
The wonderful thing about the bidet seat is that you sit there and let it work. Learning the remote control was easy. There are buttons based on what you what to clean and for how long. I have mine set on the two minutes of warm water because I like to make sure I’m extra clean. This bidet unit has an on-demand water heater. It heats the water as it is used, so it never runs out. Not all bidets have the on-demand water heater feature.
Since the system is touchless, the warm water streaming all over your butt and privates does a most excellent job. Then warm air blows for three minutes. When the cycle finishes, you are clean and dry. Another of our friends brought a BB2000 for herself, then gifted toilet seat bidets to her mom and sisters.
For sure, the toilet seat bidet did its job for my friend. Her mother did not need her son-in-law to help her in the toilet. Everyone was thrilled at the outcome. I recommend the toilet seat bidet even if you don’t have anyone at home who is elderly or disabled. It is well worth the money.
Toni Crowe retired as the Vice President of Operations to pursue her dream of being a writer. Toni has written six books, two of which won the 2019 Reader’s Choice Gold Awards. Her bestselling business book, “Bullets and Bosses Don’t Have Friends: How Do You Manage A Man Sitting With His Dick in His Hand?” was one of the winners. Her first book, “Never a $7 Whore” was the other.
Visit My Facebook Community | Subscribe to My Newsletter | Visit My Website
