Shave Your Head

Do it today and never again care if people are staring at you

Shave your head completely bald. To the skin. Do it now; today.

I have been telling women to do this since it completely changed the course of my life in 2000 and now I’m telling you.

Hair is a mask. A disguise. It is powerful and sneaky and wonderful and ever so malleable in its ways. We use it to communicate and to dissemble. Even very short hair. Even hair that’s only an eighth of an inch long is a form of cover.

I just wanted to see how it felt

I didn’t know any of this until I did the deed in April 2000.

All I knew was that during my Introduction to Zen weekend at Zen Mountain Monastery in 1996 (1) I’d been mightily impressed that all the monastics, men and women, were completely bald. I thought: I bet that feels great!

It took me four years to get up the nerve to do this crazy thing. That’s how incredibly powerful our attachment to hair is. Yes, I could grow it back, but what would I look like? What would people think?

Here’s a tip: don’t use a disposable razor

While one of those multi-bladed wonders will do the job the best head-shaving I ever got was at Ricki’s (2). Ricki used cocoa butter and a straight razor and I walked out of her salon with a gleaming, completely naked head without a single nick.

But even that first time, or maybe especially that first time, when my friend Amy shaved my head with about seven Bic disposable razors and I walked out of the apartment on my own, bald and with my head covered in nicks, there was the most glorious sense of total liberation. When I felt the light spring breeze on my naked scalp it made me want to skip and dance.

They may not have been staring before but they sure are now

I grew up certain that people were watching my every move and judging me. (3)

That day in 2000 when I walked out of the apartment by myself with my gleaming bald head covered with all those little nicks and stepped into the CVS around the corner to buy some witch hazel people really were staring at me. Every person in that drugstore was openly staring at me and then quickly averting that stare when I turned in their direction. Except the little kids. They stared and pointed.

And in that CVS just over the line into Lakewood on the westside of Cleveland, Ohio, I changed. I walked tall because I had to. The only way to respond to that level of scrutiny is to straighten the spine and look right back with a smile. So I did.

I smiled and bought my witch hazel and, know what?, that stuff stings like crazy on a freshly nicked scalp.

For about two weeks I experienced that kind of reaction everywhere I went. Even friends stood open-mouthed and confused when they first saw me. I deliberately went out without a hat or scarf because I didn’t want people to think I had lost my hair due to chemo or disease. Away from Cleveland, out in more rural areas, people did stop what they were doing to look at me with pity. But in the city, it was more like someone driving up onto the sidewalk in shock at seeing a bald woman (which did happen).

It was always me

About three weeks after shaving my head I had an epiphany: It was always me and my fear limiting me. It was never anything else.

There was no reason I couldn’t do any of the things I wanted to do. And what I had wanted to do since I was 18 (and watching the traffic out on I-71 going to all the places I’d never get to see) was to live in New York City. For the whole story read (4)below.

As my hair started growing back in I took the clippers to it on a regular basis. I discovered I didn’t like having hair; I liked the freedom to just shower, dress and walk out the door. I loved not giving a shit what anyone thought about how I looked.

In May 2000, I turned to Lee and told her that I thought I wanted to transfer to Columbia University and move to New York City.

“Good. You’re ready.”

Do it. You can.

There are a thousand excuses not to shave your hair off. There is one overriding reason to do it and to do it right away.

It will free you from chains you weren’t even aware of being bound by. You will walk forward into the life you author for yourself. You will discover that you’re much stronger, smarter, more resilient, more creative, and braver than you ever could have imagined.

For many women, it takes a catastrophe to understand how strong and intuitive and brave and competent and creative and resilient and whole they are. Don’t wait. You don’t have to.

Shave your head completely bald today and learn things about yourself that you never expected. And, then if you want, grow it back. Your choice. It always was.

You’re welcome.

© Remington Write 2019. All Rights Reserved

Consider this as well:

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