Shatter The Illusion of Self To Improve Your Well-Being
How glimpsing naked consciousness can set you free.
I read the section ‘Gradual versus Sudden Realization’ in Waking Up — and woke up. Just for a moment, before thoughts rushed to fill the void.
At that moment, naked consciousness was glimpsed. Consciousness without contents, without thought, without a sense of ‘self’. There was no ‘I’ — only the space where ‘I’ once was.
After, I knew I’d been wrong to pursue this glimpse. It was there all along, waiting to be noticed like a reflection in a window.
Breaking the Spell
It was sudden. I looked up from the pages of the book and, without warning, consciousness turned in on itself.
Instead of being identified with its contents — sounds, sights, sensations — consciousness was. The contents of consciousness were appearances. Consciousness was the open space in which they appeared.
Whatever appeared would disappear. While appearances were transient, consciousness endured. While the contents of consciousness were in flux, consciousness was fixed. And this led to the insight:
Consciousness is free of its contents.
The contents of consciousness don’t define it, since the contents are appearances — like apparitions in the attic. Sights, sounds, sensations, thoughts, everything is fleeting — vanishing before the next appearance emerges. Consciousness is the context—the space of emergence.
The Principal Illusion
Persistent among appearances is the illusion of self. There is a bundle of thoughts in the mind — thoughts that follow each other so continuously, the gaps go unnoticed. This unbroken chain of thought creates the impression that there’s a ‘thinker’ behind it. This ‘thinker’ we call ‘I’ — the self.
But it’s an illusion. When consciousness turns back on itself, it may notice a gap in the chain. A moment of insight occurs and the ‘thinker’ vanishes. The spell is broken. And once you’ve had this insight, you know the self to be an illusion.
It cannot otherwise be. If there is a ‘self’, where does it go in the moments that it disappears? If you believe yourself to be a ‘self’, then who are you when the ‘self’ dissolves?
Lessons from Psychedelics
If you take Psilocybin, a gap in the chain of thought can be glimpsed and the illusion dispelled. It’s called ‘ego dissolution’ — a studied effect of ingesting psychedelic compounds. In such studies, subjects report experiencing a total loss of self. Yet you wouldn’t deny they still exist. So, when the subject reports that she is not a ‘self’, who is she?
On psychedelics — and in seasoned meditators — activity in the Default Mode Network (DMN) in the brain is reduced. This part of the brain — the Medial Prefrontal Cortex and Medial Parietal Cortex — produces the ‘wandering mind’ — the uninterrupted chain of thought. So, when activity in the Default Mode Network dies down, it’s easier to note gaps in the chain and glimpse naked consciousness.
Meditation reduces activity in the DMN over the long term. Psychedelics do it immediately.
Without any intervention, the DMN might be so active that you never catch a gap in thought. In this case, you’ll never glimpse consciousness as it is.
Implications
When the spell of thought is broken, nude consciousness is glimpsed. It’s only for a moment, but that glimpse is enough to provide profound lessons about the way you live your life —
You’re already free
You’re searching for freedom. You want to unshackle from the chains of anxiety, stress, discomfort, competition with others, impulse, and anger. You seek the highs to balance the lows. The success to justify the failures. The comfort that won’t yield to struggle.
You’re searching for freedom. The freedom to be what you want, do what you want, and feel what you want.
But the search is futile. Because consciousness is already free. It’s free of desires, fears, pain, and impulse. Because it’s free of you — or the self you call you. It can’t be shackled, it just is. It resists definition. It resists identification. It is simply the space in which everything appears.
Nothing that appears is good or bad — these are concepts that need an object. There has to be an object, capable of suffering, that is acted on for the act to be ‘good’ or ‘bad’. That object could only be a ‘self’, not consciousness. Consciousness cannot be an object — it’s pure subjectivity. Since the ‘self’ is an illusion — an appearance in consciousness — so are the concepts of good or bad from its point of view.
What does this mean, simply? It means you don’t have to let thoughts get you down. Your thoughts are just reflections of how you’re feeling at any given time. They are not you. They’re appearances, fleeting.
The same goes for resentment, jealousy, and impulse. These too are appearances. Simply realizing this is empowering. Jealousy can appear in consciousness, but consciousness isn’t jealous. It’s the space. Be the space, and watch jealousy disappear.
You already have everything you need
“Embracing the contents of consciousness in any moment is a powerful way of training yourself to respond differently to adversity.” — Sam Harris
If you’re reading this, you’re probably well-fed. You’ve got access to the world’s knowledge. You’re sheltered in a house. Your basic needs are fulfilled. You have friends, a family, and a way to put food on your table. And while I’m no advocate of pious poverty, this is enough — enough to be content.
Once basic needs are fulfilled, the state of one’s mind determines the state of well-being. If you’re suffering, it may have more to do with the contents of your mind than the contents of your life.
Take the case of mourning. Your uncle has passed away and you’re grief-stricken. Suddenly, you get a call from an old friend, who’s unaware of your tragedy. You decide not to tell him as you catch up. He shares a story from old times. You lose yourself in the nostalgia and, for a moment, forget your pain. You laugh again. When the phone call ends, the pain rushes back in and your mourning resumes.
What happened here? Why did you stop mourning your uncle’s death during the call? He was still dead. Nothing in the world changed. Yet, for a moment, you laughed. The internal world changed.
This reveals something important. For a moment, when you stopped thinking about a painful event, the pain vanished. That means it was the thought producing the pain, not the event itself. Thought manufactured your pain.
Whenever you’re feeling pain, envy, resentment, pride, sloth, or greed, look closely for what’s behind those feelings. It’s thought. Behind the thought is the illusion of a thinker. Now, what’s behind that?
You can be free more of the time
These glimpses of the freedom of naked consciousness are relieving. In a moment, a gap in the chain of thought can be noticed consciousness, free of its contents, can be glimpsed.
A glimpse is a glimpse. Soon enough, thoughts rush back into the void, closing the window to openness. But a glimpse is all you need.
When you miss the train and you’re late for work, being able to check out of thought and glimpse the freedom of consciousness — even for a mere moment — can be the difference between a good and a bad day. Such a glimpse can mean you don’t spend all day a victim, trapped in the prison of negative thoughts that started when you missed that train.
Instead, you can acknowledge the frustration as an appearance in consciousness, allow it to disappear, and put on your headphones as you await the next train.
Meditation is simply practicing glimpsing naked consciousness more of the time. When meditating, you practice turning consciousness on itself to dispel the illusion of self. Over time as attention grows, glimpses become more frequent. And that’s all that matters.
Last Words
The self is an illusion generated by an unbroken chain of thought. Turning consciousness away from its contents and back on itself is a way to dispel the illusion, and to glimpse freedom that was there all along.
Improving your daily life can come down to glimpsing the inherent freedom of consciousness a little more of the time. Learning, through meditation, to do so at will can improve well-being in a way that is profound.