Summary

The author, Kasey Sparks, has realized that the most effective way to influence others is not through direct persuasion but by living authentically and sharing personal experiences, allowing people to reflect and learn from her stories rather than being told what to do.

Abstract

Kasey Sparks reflects on her past attempts at persuading friends to adopt her healthy habits, such as yoga, meditation, and drinking green tea. Recognizing that people prefer to make their own choices rather than being pushed into them, she decides to focus on living her life as an example rather than actively trying to change others' minds. This approach extends to her writing, where she has noticed that persuasive pieces often attract negative comments. Inspired by Christopher Robin and Squeeze the Avocado's persuasion prompt, she opts to shift from writing persuasive stories to simply sharing her own narrative. Sparks believes that genuine change comes from within and that her stories might resonate more with readers when they are not intended to persuade but to share experiences openly.

Opinions

The author acknowledges that direct persuasion can be perceived as pushy and is often met with resistance.
Sparks suggests that people are more receptive to change when they figure things out on their own rather than being told what to do.
She has come to understand that what works for her may not work for everyone, implying the subjectivity of personal practices and beliefs.
The author values the constructive criticism received from negative comments, as they prompt self-reflection and improvement.
Sparks believes that sharing her story is a subtler and potentially more effective method of persuasion.
She emphasizes that true change is internally driven and must resonate with an individual's core values to be sustainable.
The author expresses gratitude to those who have prompted her to reflect and share her experiences in a new way.

PERSUASION PROMPT

Sharing My Story and Living By Example

A less pushy form of persuasion

Over the years I’ve tried to persuade my friends to try many of the things I love — the things that work for me.

Practice yoga! Try meditation! Drink green tea!

Did any of my friends listen to me and try any of these things? Nope.

Although I can’t be certain, I’d guess that my friends haven’t tried these things because most people want to do things their own way. Figure things out for themselves. Nobody likes to be pushed.

Nobody likes to be told what to do.

That, or maybe they all just think I’m a crazy person. Maybe they think I don’t know what I’m talking about. Or maybe they think that I'm trying to change them into following my crazy ways of thinking and being.

And I suppose they'd be right.

Because what is persuasion but a way to try to convince someone to change their thinking or behavior?

So lately I’ve decided that maybe it's best to stop trying to persuade others and instead just live my life the way that works best for me. To do the things that feel healthy to me. The things that feel good. The things that resonate with me.

I’ve decided rather than trying to persuade others, I’ll just live by example.

And to an extent, I’ve realized maybe it’s time to do the same with my writing. In the stories I’ve written where I’ve tried to persuade someone to my way of thinking — to persuade them to see my perspective — I often get the most negative comments.

So it’s a bit serendipitous that Christopher Robin tagged me in his take on Squeeze the Avocado’s persuasion prompt because I’ve been thinking lately that maybe it’s time to stop writing stories where the focus is persuasion or giving advice and instead just tell my story.

Not that I want to avoid the negative comments. Far from it. Those comments are helpful in that they cause me to pause and see where I’ve missed the mark or if my tone was off.

Instead, this shift away from persuasion is more about growing weary of trying to persuade anyone of anything. That, and I’ve come to realize that just because something works for me doesn’t mean it’s going to work for someone else.

If I simply share my story, maybe someone will pause and reflect. Maybe they’ll read about my mistakes and decide to take a different path.

That's all I can do. Offer what I’ve learned. Put it out there. Maybe someone will even comment that my story made them think just a bit differently.

Or maybe they’ll still tell me I’m a crazy person. IDK.

And now I have to ponder. Is simply sharing my story with the hope that someone may pause and reflect just a less pushy form of persuasion?

Probably.

In any case, what I know for sure is the most effective way I’ve found to change my own behavior or thinking doesn't come from external forces. The idea itself may come from something external, but it takes being open to hearing it and then internalizing it for it to change me. And the motivation to change must come also from within me as well.

Because I don’t like to be squeezed. To be forced. To be controlled. To be pushed.

None of those methods are effective ways to instill change in me. They just make me feel pushed around.

True change must be internalized before it becomes a part of who I am. And to really stick, it must resonate with my very core.

So pull up a chair. I’ll share my story and I’d love for you to share yours. We’ll listen. We’ll ponder. We’ll take in what resonates with us and set aside what doesn’t.

Can I persuade you to join me? :)

Thank you, Christopher Robin, for tagging me in this prompt and gently persuading me to ponder and write about new things. And thank you, Jack Lincoln, for inviting me to pull up a chair and share my story.

Thank you for reading. To quote Ram Dass, “We’re all just walking each other home.” If you’d like to join me on the journey, click here. If you’d like to access thousands of writers and their soul-stirring stories on Medium, click here.