Sexual Tension Happens When You Have Nothing to Say to Each Other
Some dates are best not spent with words
Some people are hot. And nothing more than that. I’ve been on dates with people, only to find out we had nothing to say to each other. No banter, no heart-to-hearts, no nothing. Well, not exactly.
Except for one thing that’s present — sexual tension.
If I were to ask you if you’d end the date or give in to the tension, what would you say? Do you think it’s okay to have sex with someone you don’t share anything with? Or would you walk away from someone you know will lead nowhere? Here’s what I did — and would do again.
What is sexual tension?
Everybody experiences sexual tension differently. I would describe sexual tension as a sudden sensation that occurs when two people interact and (hopefully) both feel sexually attracted to each other. Basically, sexual tension is everything you feel before you have sex. Depending on who you ask, unfortunately, or fortunately, we can feel sexual tension with different people — not only our partner.
I believe that the reason we experience sexual tension with different people is simple. I think it’s all about feeling better about ourselves and maybe even confirming that there is more than one person out there. Just think back to the last time you’ve been in a similar situation. Didn’t you laugh more, feel more confident, and feel better about yourself? I know for sure that I have.
See, I had seen this guy around for quite some time. He was a friend of a friend and, may I say, very good-looking. And every single time we met, there was something there. I’d feel light-headed, my heart would race, and my hands would get a little sweaty. I guess we tried small talk but quickly realized that neither one of us really connected.
To me, this meant that we would never be romantically involved.
Something that I am completely okay with. We are both consenting adults; why not give in to the sexual tension that has been obvious between the two of us? We were both single at the time and spent a great night together. As a matter of fact, we met again by chance a couple of months later. He had started seeing someone; surprisingly, it wasn’t awkward or strange to hear. I think we had our brief moment together and fully embraced it. When I think back at it now, I would do it again.
To know when to walk away.
When it comes to sexual tension and knowing when to act on it or not, I believe the time and place must be perfectly aligned. When I had my brief fling, we were both single. We knew we didn’t match to get romantically involved, but we respected each other and had great fun. However, now that I’ve been in a committed relationship for more than two years, my views on going with the flow and looking where the sexual tension takes you have changed.
Last year I was meeting friends in my favorite park without my boyfriend. I had such a blast, and there was someone whom I’d never met before. You guessed it, we had a lot of chemistry. Ultimately, I left and went home — I walked away.
I don’t think cheating is worth it.
Not only because it is very painful but also because I don’t think sex and a constant guilty conscious mix well. Unlike many others, I believe that if you cheat on your partner, you should keep it to yourself. Why? Because I don’t think it’s okay to burden your partner with your transgression. In other words: I don’t think it’s okay to soothe your guilty conscience by confessing.
Initially, I asked if you would sleep with someone you felt sexual tension with, but nothing more. I believe that different people can make us feel special. Some for more than one night, most only for fleeting moments. Both are okay. As long as you can tell which is which. Not everybody is meant to be in our life for a long time.
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