Lifestyle/Self/ Happiness
Marriage Without Intimacy Can Ruin Your Happiness
Marriage can't give you happiness, but unhappiness thrives in a marriage without intimacy. Try to think, study, and practice sex for a healthy you.
"The last time I had sex with my wife was 27 years ago. My last child is 27. I am miserable!"
"My husband permitted me to have a boyfriend. I did not have sex with him for 11 years. Now, I am so happy with my new boyfriend."
Working at home is a perfect time for you to practice your sexual skills. Use it or lose it!
Food nourishes our bodies and keeps us healthy and alive. How long can we stay without food? I can survive without food for 1–3 days while fasting and praying.
How long can you stay without water?
Sex is the engine of a healthy marriage. A joyful marriage is hard work and commitment. Also, we know marriage cannot give us happiness, but the more sex couples have, the happier they are.
A short middle-aged man with a tailored navy suit once approached me in a wholesale store ( I often encounter middle-aged and older men in this store. I make a living listening to people).
Man: I want to talk to you (With an accent that differs from mine).
Me: OK. (This man can be a future high-paying client).
He talked for about five minutes. The man is a 59-year-old CEO of a company he founded 30 years ago. He lives with his wife of 35 years. They have three adult children, 27, 30, and 33. Robert is an immigrant who came to the US "with nothing."
Robert: (the man continues) “I am looking for a girlfriend, a responsible woman. I haven’t had sex for 27 years. My wife doesn’t want sex and refuses marriage counseling. I don’t want to break my family. Divorce is unacceptable in my culture, but I am frustrated. I want a girlfriend…!”
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It’s unbelievable for a couple to live together for such a long time without sex. What do you think? How can it be possible for 27 years?
Robert reports that they live in the same house and do things together — attend weddings, often travel to their home country, celebrate holidays, and do other family functions.
Many married couples are well-crafted actors!
Sexless marriages are common for many reasons, such as a history of sexual abuse, body image, illness, unhealthy communication, etc. Sexlessness can happen in both new and old marriages.
Jane confessed, “My husband invited his brother to join us in our home after our wedding reception. It was bizarre!”
Things to try to improve your sex life
First, rule out an illness.
Think of sex like food. Learn about it as if you are taking continuing education classes to maintain your professional license. Practice it as if you are practicing the piano or golf.
1. Think About Sex:
Think of sex in your marriage as you think of your favorite breakfast. How? Select your ingredients — review your physical, emotional, and mental needs. Ask and receive help from your partner and offer a helping hand too. Reflect on your sexual preference and which envelope you want to push. Examine your feelings.
Couples are likely to engage in sex when they are honest with their thoughts and feelings. Also, they offer and ask each other for help.
2. Study and Learn About Sex:
Sex discussion is taboo in many cultures and religions. Many working adults know little about their body parts.
A high school teacher said, “ I asked my students, do you know anyone who is having sex? 99% of them said, No.”
The above students didn't understand that their parents engaged in sex under their roof. I think these students did not have proper sex education from their parents. Or, their parents chose not to educate them on their body parts and sex.
Where did you get your first sex education? And from whom?
If you didn’t properly learn the function of your sex organs from your parents, you could discover it today.
Study your body and ask questions about how it works. Listen, care for your needs, and free your partner to do the same. Learn the rules of the game. Tune to the technique that works for you and your partner. Get to know yourself and, importantly, what works for you.
What works for me may not work for you. Pay attention to your body, mind, and soul. Put more effort into keeping your body, thoughts, and feelings healthy.
3. Practice, Practice, Practice
Practice and engage in sex? Do you have any living or professional skills? Perfect practice makes perfect. Mine can be weekly, yours once a month, and my next-door neighbor’s daily. No one size fits all.
Keep your brain active by reading, puzzling, and other mental activities. Be happy having more sex.
Remember
Create the happiness you desire in your relationship by being romantic and patient with yourself and your partner.
Think, study, and practice sex.
Seek help as needed.
