Seven Things You Must do When You are a Virus House Guest

One mans story of when you move in on your children.

The Virus-19 was running rampant in my Senior Residence. We had seven cases of the virus and two deaths within days of each other. An uneasy chill ran through the residence and staff.

Management invoked a total lockdown of the home. No visitors and stay in place. They deliver meals to apartment doors. They do not allow the attendant staff in the apartments to clean. Masks are to be worn if you went outside your room. The once friendly population became distant, almost strangers. The halls and meeting rooms are empty now. A sense of doom hung over the place.

My sons wanted me to get out and go somewhere safe. They are aware of my age. They needed a place for me to go. They considered their options, which were few.

My youngest son lives in a suburb of Atlanta, Georgia, and works from home during this crisis, as does his wife. This protects them from the virus because of their isolation. There home was a little more than an hour drive from my senior facility.

They said they were ready to take me in. My older son drove me to their home.

My hosts had installed a grab bar in the bath and handrails on the stairs for my safety.

My son planned to walk with me on my twice a day amble through the neighborhoods. I enjoyed those walks. It was a new area to me. I could see where a few giant oak trees remained among houses built in the 1970s.

The builders had most of the giant oaks removed and the new homeowners planted new trees in the spots they liked. The wildness of the area disappeared.

I told my hosts years ago that I would never live with them. I said, “I will live in a tent before I live with you.” I was reflecting on my younger days when I was responsible for my young wife, two small children, a dog and my mother.

My mother meant well, but she constantly upstaged my innocent wife with the wisdom of her senior years. This put a strain on my marriage.

I tried to get it straightened out as two men would by getting together and hashing out the problem. It did not work. Women cope with problems in their own way. I am not sure what it is, but it is not the way men do it. So, I failed in my attempted resolution.

Back to the present situation. I thought about the items that would make me transparent, almost invisible during my visit.

I brought a few books, my computer and iPad. Enough to keep me out of their way. They set me up in the eves of the house for my office and bought me a desk chair. Such attentions showed that I was welcome.

A big plus for me when my son inspected my back and found two potential skin cancers. This warmed my heart. He may have saved my life. We will know when the results of the biopsy comes back.

1. Establish an open dialogue with your hosts.

Have them agree to tell you if you do anything untoward during your visit.

This agreement saved my hosts some discomfort. It woke them up when I dropped the toilet seat in the middle of the night. Being almost deaf, I was unaware of the noise. They told me about it. I henceforth eased the seat down. It chagrined me, but I was glad they were frank with me.

2. Be aware of their working hours.

Ask them, “When are your working hours?”, so you do not interrupt. Nothing worse when some old fool breaks your train of thought or interrupts a phone call with some nonsense.

3. Supply your own needs

I use a lot of paper goods. I supply my face and toilet tissue. I hand them my credit card; they can shop for me when they go shopping for their own needs.

4. Furnish some meals

When I hand them the credit card, I tell them to buy anything they want. Then I make a few suggestions, naming top of the line items, such as prime fillet-mignon and pricy side items, fruit, and plenty of ice cream, liked by all. It keeps them from feeling crimped when shopping on your dime.

5. If they have animals, be cordial.

My hosts have two Corgi pups, of which they are proud. They bark a lot, so I turn down my hearing aid and play with these friendly dogs.

My hosts do not have children. If your hosts do, offer to help the kids with their homework or at-home school work.

6. Be considerate in using their utilities.

Turn off the lights and other utilities when you are not using them.

Bathe when they are not running laundry so you don’t use all the hot water.

7. Bring all your own needs.

Think before you pack. What you will need? Don’t forget the bathrobe. It’s nice to be covered when you make a nighttime run to the bathroom. Bring your own iPhone so you don’t have to borrow. Don’t forget your pills.

Those of us who left the senior home for safety will return when the lock-down is easaed. It shoud be soon.

By reflection, perhaps I was more reserved than I should have been. My attitude was to be almost invisible, tiptoe through my visit so I would not disturb their lifestyle as my mother did when I was a young husband.

But I am not my mother, and my son is not me. I found great pleasure in spending time with my son and his family. Maybe I should have been more open with them. To come out of the shadows, be more active and involved with them.

These visits are a rarity, so we should enjoy them to the maximum while we can.