Seven Steps to Mending a Broken Funny Bone

Learning to laugh at yourself one step at a time

Recently, I tumbled into a personal and creative slump. Part of it had to do with my accumulation of birthdays. I realized the truth of Bill Clinton’s observation about aging.

“I don’t know how this happened. I spent most of my life being the youngest person doing whatever I was doing. And one day I woke up and I’m the oldest person in the room.”

The world situation didn’t help matters. As a left-leaning globalist, I always enjoyed political humor. Suddenly, it didn’t seem funny anymore. I was becoming a curmudgeon, party pooper, grouch, grumbler, and kvetch. My activism and creative work suffered. What was the point?

One day, as I was doomscrolling the Internet, I ran across a study from the University of Zurich. The researcher created a seven-step training program to help people use humor to cope with stress.

I could not fly to Switzerland and join up, but I decided to give it a try from the comfort of my home. These are my results.

Step One — Surround Yourself With Humor and Think About the Nature of Your Sense of Humor

Assignment: Watch several sitcoms and decide which you prefer. I find most sitcoms annoying. But, I remembered laughing hard at some old I Love Lucy sketches. I visited YouTube and found the one where Lucy and Ethel work on the high-speed assembly line at the chocolate factory.

Funny stuff.

I like humor where people find themselves in improbable situations but somehow muddle through. I discovered that while I enjoy political humor, I needed a break even from my beloved Trevor Noah, though I am sad he’s leaving the Today show.

Step Two- Cultivate a Playful Attitude

Assignment: Make a list of things you have fun doing. Do two of them each day.

For me, the list included walking my dogs. It also included listening to old-time rock and roll, playing with my cats, photography, and dying my hair every color of the rainbow.

I aced this assignment. As an added benefit, my dogs and cats had a lot of fun. I listened to Johnny B. Goode while I dyed my hair as purple as a grape popsicle. Here’s a photo.

Step Three- Laugh More Often and Heartily

Assignment: Spend more time in situations where social laughter occurs — comedy clubs, funny movies, or parties.

While at these venues, the doctor has some serious expectations of you. She wants you to-

“…Laugh in ways different than one’s inclination — laugh louder and longer than you normally would. For example, try laughing when you are angry, anxious, or depressed. Notice the effect this has on your emotional state.”

I get a D- on this one so far. I don’t live near a movie theater, let alone a comedy club. I haven’t been invited to a party in years and if I was I probably wouldn’t go. To me, laughing when you’re angry is like rubbing your stomach while patting your head. I don’t get it. Tuet mir leid, Doc.

If you have any luck with this, please tell me in the comments. I promise I won’t laugh. Or at least not any louder or longer than I normally would.

Step Four — Create Your Own Verbal Humor

Assignment: Seek out puns and verbal humor in headlines, public signs, and everyday conversations. Write them down to build the habit of noticing them.

I like unintentional bloopers like this one I found online.

Step Five — Look for Humor in Everyday Life

Assignment: Actively look for humor at home, on the way to work, on the job, or at school. Write down your observations and share them with others.

Most of the humor in my life comes from the antics of my cats and dogs. Your funny moments may revolve around your children or partner. The common denominator seems to be relationships. Nothing else can move us to tears one moment and make us laugh the next.

Step Six- Take Yourself Lightly

Assignment: Make a list of your sensitive zones- areas of your life about which it is difficult to “lighten up.” Arrange the list from smaller or minor sensitive zones to major ones.

Now, start with the minor items. Before joking about them, talk to someone about them. This speeds up the process of being able to laugh about them.

Try poking fun at yourself a little bit. Some of these self-disparaging jokes should have nothing to do with your sensitivities. Others should directly relate to the items on your list.

This is where the program gets into the nitty gritty. The researchers explain,

“Being able to laugh at yourself — at one’s own mistakes, weaknesses, perceived flaws etc.- promotes the use of humor to cope with stress. This is usually the most difficult skill to develop because awkward or embarrassing incidents or being the butt of a joke (or otherwise laughed at) typically elicits negative emotions that interfere with the ability to create and enjoy humor.”

I am a bottomless pit of sensitive zones. This assignment triggered them all simultaneously. I decided to skip this step for now and revisit it later. Feel free to do the same.

Step Seven- Find Humor in the Midst of Stress

Assignment: Make a list of commonly occurring hassles and problems. Be determined to find a way to maintain a lighter attitude when these come up. Gradually include less commonly occurring problems.

This is where I graduated with honors. I skipped over steps three, five and six and leaped headfirst into step seven. It was not by design.

‘Cat sprays into electrical socket causing it to smoke badly enough that you panic and call the fire department’ did not make it onto my list but that’s what happened. And, although I was upset and embarrassed, I had to admit it was kind of funny.

Bottom line- I’m still a curmudgeon, party pooper, grouch, grumbler and kvetch but I’m enjoying it more. I’m mending my funny bone.