Seven Reasons Why Suffering Makes Me Believe in God Even More

Discovering Purpose Amidst Pain

The longer I live, the more qualified I become to speak on the topic of suffering. I don’t write about suffering as one who stands on the sideline, like an armchair expert who makes comments on a football game that he’s never played in his life. I write as someone who has played the game. In fact, I am in the middle of the game, and I’m not winning.

Two weeks ago, my wife was diagnosed with advanced stage four bowel cancer.

It came at us out of nowhere.

I can’t begin to tell you the shock, the grief, and the sense of utter powerlessness that I felt and am still feeling. There have been moments of utter despair and of shaking my fists at the sky.

There was an assumption amongst some of my friends that I might be angry at God for all of this. Is he in control or not? At the very least, my faith should have been shaken to the core. And, to a certain extent, it is.

However, certain things about suffering actually make me believe in God even more. You might think that’s crazy, but I’ve come up with seven reasons why suffering points me to God:

Suffering makes me ask the “why” question.

My wife is a 42-year-old mother of three. It feels completely unfair that she should have cancer. When we were given the diagnosis, it was like being slapped in the face with a piece of two-by-four.

On the tail of the shock inevitably comes the question…

Why?

Why is this happening to us?

It’s a natural response, I suppose, to search for some semblance of reason or meaning in the face of such adversity. But here’s the thing… if you look behind the question to the reason that the question is asked, you are forced to arrive at an astounding conclusion.

We all assume, subconsciously or otherwise, that the universe is somehow on our side. And when it is not, we get angry. The fact that we feel this profound sense of injustice points us to a truth: Human beings struggle with the idea that maybe there isn’t someone steering the ship.

When something goes wrong, we scream at the universe, “I demand to speak to the manager!” And the reason we do this is that we believe that there is one… or at least there should be.

That’s God.

Suffering makes me recognize that there is a moral order

People ask me all the time, “If God is so good, then why do bad things happen?” It’s a fair question, but it’s not a problem exclusive to Christianity. Every worldview has to answer the question: The Buddhist, the Hindu, the Muslim, and even the Atheist are all confronted with the same dilemma.

The atheistic worldview, in particular, has little to offer the suffering person. It says to the sufferer: “Your suffering is statistically unfortunate but ultimately meaningless.”

But this does not satisfy us, nor should it. If we were hard-wired to suffer, we would not be asking, “Why?” Suffering would not bother us in the slightest.

But, the very act of questioning why something unjust or painful is happening implies an inherent belief in a moral order. We intuitively grasp the concepts of right and wrong, fairness and injustice. This sense of moral framework suggests that there is a higher power that defines and governs these principles.

Suffering brings out the best in humans

Moving from the philosophical to the intensely practical, suffering simply brings out the best in human beings.

When news of my wife’s battle with cancer spread, it felt like we were surrounded by a warm embrace from all corners of the world. Our friends rallied around us with breathtakingly generous support and care. But what truly took me by surprise was the kindness that came from complete strangers.

From a man in Colorado who offered to buy me a coffee, despite the oceans between us, to a woman who sent us a heartfelt card from halfway around the world — these gestures touched our hearts in ways I can hardly put into words. It’s moments like these that remind me of the extraordinary goodness that exists in people, even in the face of adversity.

Such kindness points me toward belief in a higher power — a benevolent force that orchestrates moments of grace and solidarity, gently nudging us, urging us to recognize that there is something greater than ourselves, something that transcends the boundaries of our individual lives.

Suffering turns us toward what is really important

This is absolutely crazy, but our marriage is the best it's ever been since the diagnosis.

I feel such intense compassion and love toward my wife — unrivaled by any other time in our twenty-year relationship. In the midst of the uncertainty, somehow, we’ve been gifted with a newfound clarity about what truly matters. The petty grievances and trivial concerns that once occupied our thoughts have faded into insignificance.

For example, I have tended to be a bit of a cheapskate, but I am suddenly finding it much easier to open my wallet and share what I have. The impulse to hold onto every penny has given way to a profound understanding that there are far more important things in life than money. I knew this already, of course, in an intellectual sense, but now my behavior is finally catching up to my intellect.

My only regret is that it took cancer to make me more compassionate, generous, and kind.

Sigh.

Suffering leads us to the end of ourselves

In a world that often celebrates self-sufficiency, it’s easy to forget that there are some challenges we simply can’t conquer. However, real faith begins when we reach the end of our own resources. And nothing announces your powerlessness more than a disease you cannot heal or fix.

Suffering has a way of humbling us, of showing us that we’re not invincible. It’s in these moments of vulnerability that we realize we need faith in something beyond our own strength, ability and understanding.

Now, some may deride faith as some kind of cosmic crutch, dismissing it as a sign of weakness. Yet, I believe it takes immense strength to admit our need for something greater. It’s an act of courage to set aside our pride, to lay bare our vulnerabilities, and to seek solace and guidance beyond ourselves.

But without the gift of suffering, many people continue to live comfortably with the illusion that they are in control — until one day, when life teaches them the truth.

Suffering brings us back to the now

When you are faced with uncertainty, there is a risk that your mind will constantly try to wander into the land of “what ifs.” I know I have visited “Dr Google” many times over the past few weeks to try to get some certainty about what the future may hold for my wife.

But, here’s the thing: When you worry about what will be in your future, anxiety is your constant companion. Therefore, suffering invites us to make NOW the primary focus of our lives. After all, NOW is all we have. Those who live too much in the past or the future rarely experience peace.

As Eckhart Tolle says, “All negativity is caused by a denial of the present. Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are caused by too much future and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of non-forgiveness are caused by too much past and not enough presence.”

I think he is right.

And, what is more, I think the only place to find God is in the “Now.” There’s a reason God is called the “Great I Am “— not the “I Was” or the “I Will Be.” The presence is always in the present.

Suffering can be accompanied by unexplainable peace

In amongst the tears, the anger, and the sense of utter despair, there have been moments of inexplicable peace. This peace doesn’t make any sense, given the circumstances.

There is a whisper from the universe that I cannot explain. It’s a quiet reassurance that we are held in a greater embrace, even when life’s storms rage around us. I do not pretend to have an explanation for this phenomenon, and perhaps you think I am crazy. But, ask virtually anyone who has suffered, and you will discover that somehow, despair is so often punctuated by peace.

Some, like me, call that sense of peace “ God.”

The Last Word

C.S. Lewis once said: “God whispers to us in our pleasures but shouts to us in our suffering.”

I agree with him.

In the crucible of suffering, where pain and uncertainty converge, amidst life’s harshest trials, God shouts to us!

The “why” questions, the search for order, the outpouring of human kindness, the newfound clarity about what truly matters, and the acknowledgment of our own limitations — all these facets of suffering converge to point me back to God.

In a way, it doesn’t make sense to find greater faith in the midst of all this trouble, because there are no guarantees of a positive outcome. In fact, the odds are completely against us.

And that is how I know this faith is real.

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Dan Foster is the author of “Leaving Church, Finding God: Discovering Faith Beyond Organized Religion.”

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