FIRST-PAGE ANALYSIS

Set the Stage: How Locations Impact Character and Conflict in a Screenplay’s First Page

You can lead a pirate story to land, but…

Today’s first-page analysis looks at the role locations play in plot and character development.

In this swashbuckler script, I was able to use a change in location to completely change the power dynamics of a group of pirates trying to pull off a heist.

Script Background

This script was drafted for the Screenwriting Battle contest (now just known as Writing Battle). I was assigned a genre, place, and object. I had five days to write a maximum of 10 pages.

The competition sees your script go head-to-head with another script from your assigned genre. The participants serve as judges and pick winners from each “duel” of two scripts. It’s great fun!

Prompt: Genre — Swashbuckler | Place — a footrace | Object — a teacup

Placement: Semi-finalist (I got knocked out in a duel with the person who won the whole thing, so I don’t feel so bad)

Logline: An unlikely group of pirates set out to steal a diamond pendant from a member of the monarchy.

The Page

Location, Location, Location

I was excited to see “swashbuckler” as the prompt — it was a genre I had never dabbled in previously. I started thinking of the fun I could have with characters fighting on a pirate ship. But the footrace element was throwing me for a loop.

Footrace had to be the predominant location of the script. So if I started on a ship, my pirates were going to have to ditch their sea legs. But that in itself was a great source of conflict.

Thankfully, since I had 10 pages, there was a little bit of space to introduce these characters in their natural element. It’s easier to introduce these characters in the world they naturally fit into. It’s also more entertaining to then see them thrust into a world that they aren’t comfortable with.

Screenwriting Tip: Fish-out-of-water scenarios are great ways to amp up comedy and conflict, especially if you have prompts that don’t align. Bringing traditional genre elements to an unconventional location can really make your script stand out.

Location Changes Your Character Dynamics

This page introduces us to two seasoned pirates — Golden Tooth and Calabran — and one noble turned wannabe pirate, Gary. When we’re introduced to them at sea, the pirates reign supreme while Gary gets steamrolled.

But what happens to these characters when the roles are reversed? Say they’re thrust into a situation on land surrounded by nobles (like a footrace).

Gary’s weakness when we meet him becomes his greatest strength. I wanted Gary to reign supreme in the end, but in order for that to be satisfying, he had to be set up as the loser at the start when he was at sea.

Screenwriting Tip: Everyone loves a winner who had to work for it. To make your underdog character’s arc satisfying, we have to see them get the piss taken out of them before succeeding.

Improvements

Despite how important location is to this story, my scene descriptions are pretty light. I remember having to cut mercilessly on this script to get things to fit into the page limits. I paired the descriptions back in order to save more of the dialogue.

While I had fun using Gary’s pirate name to illustrate his underdog status, I could find a simpler way to show that he isn’t taken seriously in this group.

The dinghies were supposed to convey pirates who fell on hard times — a little description of their boats in disrepair could have gone a long way to better set up their situation. And I think I set the record for most times the word “dinghy” has appeared on a page.

Finally, I think the pacing could be tighter. On the top of page 2, a MASSIVE pirate ship makes a grand entrance, dwarfing the little ships around it. With scripts this short, getting a powerful visual like that on the first page is a big plus.

In Conclusion

Pirates are fun characters to write, but I’m glad I didn’t have to keep them at sea. My knowledge of ships and the ocean is limited at best and the research rabbit hole could have kicked my butt with the tight deadline.

Any issues you’ve been facing in your writing that you’d like to view through a screenwriting perspective? Let me know and I’ll see if I have anything in my library that touches on that!

And if you’re enjoying these first-page analyses, I’m gathering them all in one place: