EXPLORING

Sensual Travel is Solo Travel

South Africa brought me the freedom to choose my own path

It wasn’t my plan to travel alone. I was just finding my feet again after a huge life crisis. A friend of mine suggested going to South Africa. Capetown. She knew I had always loved to travel. But she also knew how the world just seemed too big for me right now.

My two men, my father and my husband, had disappeared from my life. And it seemed like I could take a world map and stick a pin in it. I could go wherever I wanted. Sisterly love was all I had left. But it felt unsafe to travel far.

The world had become too big a place for my size-38 shoes (US=7, UK=5).

I was licking my wounds in a little house in the woods.

And then my friend came up with the South Africa plan. We would fly to Capetown via Dubai. Rent a car and travel along the coast. Two weeks. Together. It seemed like a good plan.

We booked and the date came closer. I was looking forward to it. Until she canceled. She had her reasons. But I was devastated. My house in the woods felt cozy and secure. Would I dare to go alone?

I was licking my wounds in a little house in the woods.

Well, you’ve guessed right. The title of the story says all. I went alone. And never felt better. And now I know how to travel alone anywhere. Good confidence to have in today’s lockdown times.

Connecting to Nature

In South Africa, the air smells different. I can’t describe it properly. But to me, it had a yellow-orange feeling. I had taken my small car to go to Bontebok National Park. A place of stunning beauty.

Upon entering the park, the lady asked if I would go hiking? She showed me some beautiful spots to do so. Would I dare? There were no dangerous animals to fear. But what about dangerous humans in such a remote spot?

When I got out of the car, the fragrant air just wrapped my skin in loose, sensual fabric. The sounds confused my ears and my brain. A cacophony of high-pitched bird melody merged with dark, deep vibrations.

I just stood there. Feeling my feet on this unknown soil.

And took a deep, luxurious breath. Yes, I dared.

I walked slowly. All my senses open and curious. At some point, I sat down. Just watching and feeling the wonder. I heard big wings approaching. Two large Hadeda Ibis birds arrived and landed in a nearby tree. I can still hear their calls in my memory.

At that moment, in Bontebok National Park, I started to feel my freedom for real. The immense possibilities of my life when I would embrace my fears fully. And I knew I would never let this feeling go again.

A deep, luxurious breath. Yes, I dared.

During that same trip, I explored the ocean. Felt the waves toss the small boat around. The ocean’s power entered my legs and my size-38 feet. And the world never felt too big again.

Connecting to Myself

Some people say to me: I can never travel alone, I want to share my stories with someone. Well, that might be the advantage of being a writer. I could tell my stories to the world. My imagination was spreading her wings!

And whenever I felt lonely, I had my chat connections with my friends. They were so curious about my adventures that I could ping them anytime.

Time alone was connecting me deeper to myself as well. I meditated a lot. Outside. Hearing the ocean’s roar in the background. Liquid lion’s teeth to make me feel awed and connected to my home. Our planet.

Many insights entered my brain in South Africa.

How I had always been a pleaser. Not making time for my own passions. Thinking that my husband’s favorites were as important for me as my own longings. I am a polymath, you know. I love all knowledge, all sensations. So, one seems as good as the other. There’s too little time to pursue everything in life anyway.

In South Africa, I reconnected to the ocean. And oh, how I had missed her. The roar. The salty taste on my moist lips. The sound of pebbles going back and forth in a rhythm made by Mother Moon’s push and pull.

I could spend a whole afternoon watching hermit crabs in little rock pools. Walking sideways, fast and sure. With their borrowed snail shells as cover.

Feeling the rhythm of anemones opening and closing. No one told me it was time to go. No one told me I was boring. No one told me I should have an interest in something else.

I could follow my own flow. And it felt liberating.

There and then I decided that from now on I would create a balance of money, time, and freedom in my life. The feeling of solo travel was just too precious to let go of.

Connecting to Others

Whenever I’m traveling I connect to local people. It’s just who I am. Curious. Wanting to know what drives them in life. Wanting to broaden my being by embracing people I seem to have nothing in common with. Until we find out we share a passion for art. Or for language. Or for children’s play.

Dancing has always been a good way of connecting. I dance alone in the streets sometimes. Just a few moves that flow in my body. And share smiles with strangers.

I could follow my own flow. And it felt liberating.

In South Africa, the language was a connector and a divider both. I’m Dutch, you know, so my language is close to Afrikaans. Some people I could understand. And they liked to speak to me in their language and try to understand mine.

We laughed. We shared funny words. And a connection emerged.

But on the other hand, Apartheid is a Dutch word. The racial segregation in this country of natural beauty shares a history with mine. And the Afrikaans language is the speak of authoritarian white men too. A language of slave-trade and oppression.

So, I felt I was walking on a narrow ledge the whole time.

I wouldn’t let it stop me though to make contact with locals from all walks of life. And little things made it easier. My car was helping me explore, but I didn’t want to get stuck without petrol. So every time my tank was half empty, I filled her up again. And made small-talk with the petrol man.

My explorations brought me on gravel paths. And he told me I shouldn’t abuse my little car and use her as a four-wheel-drive. We laughed. And laughter is a great connector.

Why Sensual Travel is Solo Travel

My life has evolved in the meantime. I’m on my life’s journey with Mike now. But those days alone in South Africa brought me something I’ll never abandon again. Freedom to choose my own path. Follow my own interests. No pleasing no more.

Mike and I choose when to cherish our solitude. We follow our own longings as well and share the stories afterward. I still meditate a lot because for me that’s the best way to connect to myself and the universe. It’s a strong connection I’ll never let go of again.

My connection to nature is another part of my discovery. I’ve been traveling sensually through life from South Africa onward. All my senses are open to nature, to myself, and to others now.

Last winter, I tasted the salty mangrove leaves in Indonesia. One month later, I felt the cold wind on my cheeks while planting trees on a lowlands farm in The Netherlands. I connect the dots. I reach out. I write about it.

This summer, I dressed up sunny in batik and felt gorgeous! My mum even made me a face mask in batik! Authentic fashion. Locally beautiful.

I have learned how to cherish my solo travel in life.

My sensual curiosity has brought me far.

Thank you, Mike, for accompanying me on my travels now. And still giving me the freedom to walk my own path. If you want to connect you can find me somewhere smelling the roses. Or via LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, ManyStories, and my website.

The turtle I met in Bontebok National Park, went in hiding.

I was braver than he was.

© Désirée Driesenaar