Personal Transformation and Abandoning the Self-Cherishing Mind

When we are committed to practicing personal transformation, our innate desire to improve ourselves, to be a better person and to do the right thing, our biggest enemies are the mind and the ego. The mind likes to think it runs the show and is usually poorly guided by the ego. The mind runs rampant and leads us all over the place if we are not able to step back, take a deep breath and keep it under control. It can make us feel all kinds of emotions, positive and negative, and keeps us on a roller coaster ride which can disrupt our own day to day living, our interaction with and impact on others and also our long-term plans and dreams. It is too easy to say or do something mistakenly in haste which can then take us a long time to put right, if that’s even possible. So we must beware and guard ourselves against acting rashly and without proper control.

Especially in difficult times, such as we currently find ourselves, when we are increasingly fueled by fear and uncertainty, it is very easy to forget about the needs and sufferings of others and focus only on ourselves and our own problems. Me, me, me and my, my, my will always lead us down a path of ego-based thought and action which doesn’t help our cause and it certainly doesn’t serve others well.

As soon as we realise that this is the point we have reached we should take a step back and look at ourselves, quietly reflecting and questioning what we are doing and why. It is always good to have a reason for our actions and speech. Questioning will help us to pinpoint our motivation so that we can analyse and see whether we are operating from good or bad motivation and whether therefore we should actually continue to do or say what we are thinking.

The self-cherishing mind is our biggest downfall, it hampers us in our efforts to be a better person and to serve others and should be abandoned as quickly as possible. When we think that we are the best or that we are more important than others it leads us into all kinds of difficulties.

As Kyabje Lama Zopa Rinpoche says “Self-cherishing brings all unhappiness. … Therefore, this self-cherishing thought is to be abandoned, to be renounced without delay for even a second.”

Once we acknowledge and accept that we are sacrificing all of our current and future happiness for the benefit of our self-cherishing mind we can begin to practice in a way which will help us to change our way of thinking. The best way we can do this is through reading and learning, contemplation including meditation and mindful awareness of our daily thoughts, speech and actions. Our practice will help us to keep going in the right direction and make us stronger and more empowered.

When we consider fully our motivation in this way and by remembering to practice mindfulness we will become increasingly more aware and confident that we are doing and saying the right things for the right reasons.

If we can let go of the self-cherishing mind and put the well being of others at the forefront of our thinking we will instantly feel happier and more fulfilled. We will then be in a better place to consider how we can think about and serve others even more on a daily basis.

Using self-reflection in this way helps us to identify and work with who we are now and who we would like to become. We can begin to think about and decide what is most important to us and what we want to achieve in the future. By taking positive action in setting out a series of steps which we will take to move us along the path we know that we are taking responsibility for ourselves and this keeps us firmly within our own power. So long as we are prepared to commit to putting in the work we cannot fail.

By taking the time to identify our needs and wants and by combining self-reflection with our daily practice we can overcome many negative attributes, including our self-cherishing mind, and the negative emotions which lead us into suffering.

Writing your experiences in a journal daily is a good additional practice to help you keep track of what you notice, how you feel and where you are making progress.

Your questioning and self-reflection should always feel empowering as it puts you back in control. If you experience continued or strong negative and overwhelming emotions it might be time to look for some help and support to help you overcome what you are struggling with. The most important step is to accept them and move back to a place of balance and harmony.