Self-Quarantine: How I am Social (Media) Distancing

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what you are eating, where you are walking, or what you are doing at all times of day, that’s cool. Maybe my life just isn’t that interesting so I don’t feel the need to share, I don’t know. I’m simply here to remind everyone (and myself) that life isn’t meant to be lived through a screen. Your worth isn’t measured by how many followers you have. And your purpose is not tied to how much or little you share of yourself with the world (which admittedly has been the toughest lesson for me as an entrepreneur with an online business).I have been so triggered by social media and Zoom calls during the last month that I have to regularly take entire days away from my phone: no checking email, responding to messages, or scrolling IG. And let me tell you what happens on those days: Within a few hours, I already feel more peaceful and content with my own life. I read for an extra hour those days, I take long hikes (and don’t post about them), I write, I cry, I practice yoga, I meditate, and I do all of the things I normally do, but with an added layer of peace present. I feel more unattached yet more connected to humanity than ever on those days, I think because I am able to fully appreciate the present moment. I am reminded that connection does not have to be constant to be meaningful. I am reminded that taking intentional time to fill our own cups is the best thing we can do for this aching world. And for the first time, I am learning that the art of connection sometimes involves temporary disconnection. Unfortunately, in a time that we are supposed to be distancing and turning inward, it seems we are missing the mark. People are finding new ways to distract and continue to be constantly engaged, perhaps more so. This quarantine is here not to show us new ways to imprison ourselves, but to find our way out of the prisons we have created. And we find our way out of those prisons by connecting to ourselves, limiting distractions, and setting boundaries with our phones. There, I said it.So what might these so-called boundaries entail? They may include:<ul><li>Setting a daily time limit (or using Screen Time) for social media and internet usage.</li><li>Limiting the number of times that you post per day or per week, and noticing how much more present you are in an activi

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ty when you don’t.</li><li>Muting or unfollowing the people or accounts that trigger you or that bring about feelings of unworthiness, inferiority, or competition.</li><li>Spending one day per week completely technology-free and allowing yourself to play and feel and do without the need for anyone else to know what you’re doing.</li><li>Checking emails, messages, social media, and other platforms only at certain times per day so you are not distracted and in reaction-mode all day long. Sticking to a schedule for checking my phone has been imperative for me, even if that means not getting back to people for a few hours.</li><li>Not checking your phone in the morning until you have set yourself up properly for the day. I do not check my phone until I complete my entire morning routine and get myself in a positive frame of mind.</li><li>Similarly, setting a nighttime boundary that you won’t scroll after, say, 8 or 9 pm as part of establishing a PM routine. We should prepare our minds and bodies for sleep in the same way that we prepare for the day ahead.</li><li>Take inventory of who you interact with online and how they make you feel. Adjust your behavior and interactions accordingly (aka stop giving your energy away to online bullies or negativity).</li></ul>To be clear, I am not hating on phones and social media (okay, maybe just a little, lol), but we have been given an opportunity to get back to the basics: to reconnect with and reflect on who we are and what we really want out of life. Many of us have more time on our hands than we have in a long, long time, and all I’m suggesting is that we evaluate how we are spending that time. Are you spending it watching other people live their lives, or are you spending it living your own? It is my hope that we all come out of this living a little more, watching a little less, and incorporating a few more phone-free days into our new routines. Idealistic? Perhaps. But it is my hope nonetheless.Melissa is an experienced yoga instructor, life coach, and somatic energy practitioner. For collaborations or private virtual healing sessions, contact [email protected] or subscribe to her free YouTube channel by clicking <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOtTMBS8-A9DRxaAPoVu4Iw">here</a>.</article></body>

Self-Quarantine: How I am Social (Media) Distancing

So we are well into Month 2 of Quarantine 2020. Although my physical contact with other people has been cut to next to nothing (mind you, I’m single and live alone), my anxiety related to the online world has reached an all-time high. Don’t get me wrong, social media is a wonderful place to connect, to share, and to inspire. I (try to) regularly use it in positive ways to hold myself accountable, to learn, and to teach in ways I couldn’t otherwise. However, something happens to us on a core level when we are constantly bombarded with what everyone else is doing (or in this case, not doing). This of course happens in “normal life” anyway, but as people are spending more time in front of their phones in an effort to keep in contact, the mental and emotional ramifications of increased screen time must be doing more harm than good. Right?

When I was in college (back when you needed a college email address to create an account), Facebook was a place to basically share photos of parties and to kinda-keep in contact with that cute guy from Accounting 101.

As the age of social networking has evolved, so too has its ability to infiltrate into every single part of our lives, and now it seems we can’t experience even the most ordinary and mundane parts of life without taking a photo and blasting it over every platform.

Why do we feel this need to share every detail of our lives? Is it because we are still desperately seeking validation, and this is the easiest way to get it in today’s high-tech, fast-paced world? My answer to this is yes, as I can say from my own experience that the times in my life when I have been most involved on social media were the times I actually felt the worst about myself. Those are the times when I relied on a nice comment from a classmate or 100 likes to boost my ego and self-esteem. Let me remind you as I write these words (or any words for that matter), I cast absolutely no judgment. If you post to your Insta Story 35 times per day so the world knows what you are listening to, what you are eating, where you are walking, or what you are doing at all times of day, that’s cool. Maybe my life just isn’t that interesting so I don’t feel the need to share, I don’t know. I’m simply here to remind everyone (and myself) that life isn’t meant to be lived through a screen. Your worth isn’t measured by how many followers you have. And your purpose is not tied to how much or little you share of yourself with the world (which admittedly has been the toughest lesson for me as an entrepreneur with an online business).

I have been so triggered by social media and Zoom calls during the last month that I have to regularly take entire days away from my phone: no checking email, responding to messages, or scrolling IG. And let me tell you what happens on those days: Within a few hours, I already feel more peaceful and content with my own life. I read for an extra hour those days, I take long hikes (and don’t post about them), I write, I cry, I practice yoga, I meditate, and I do all of the things I normally do, but with an added layer of peace present. I feel more unattached yet more connected to humanity than ever on those days, I think because I am able to fully appreciate the present moment. I am reminded that connection does not have to be constant to be meaningful. I am reminded that taking intentional time to fill our own cups is the best thing we can do for this aching world. And for the first time, I am learning that the art of connection sometimes involves temporary disconnection. Unfortunately, in a time that we are supposed to be distancing and turning inward, it seems we are missing the mark. People are finding new ways to distract and continue to be constantly engaged, perhaps more so. This quarantine is here not to show us new ways to imprison ourselves, but to find our way out of the prisons we have created. And we find our way out of those prisons by connecting to ourselves, limiting distractions, and setting boundaries with our phones. There, I said it.

So what might these so-called boundaries entail? They may include:

Setting a daily time limit (or using Screen Time) for social media and internet usage.

Limiting the number of times that you post per day or per week, and noticing how much more present you are in an activity when you don’t.

Muting or unfollowing the people or accounts that trigger you or that bring about feelings of unworthiness, inferiority, or competition.

Spending one day per week completely technology-free and allowing yourself to play and feel and do without the need for anyone else to know what you’re doing.

Checking emails, messages, social media, and other platforms only at certain times per day so you are not distracted and in reaction-mode all day long. Sticking to a schedule for checking my phone has been imperative for me, even if that means not getting back to people for a few hours.

Not checking your phone in the morning until you have set yourself up properly for the day. I do not check my phone until I complete my entire morning routine and get myself in a positive frame of mind.

Similarly, setting a nighttime boundary that you won’t scroll after, say, 8 or 9 pm as part of establishing a PM routine. We should prepare our minds and bodies for sleep in the same way that we prepare for the day ahead.

Take inventory of who you interact with online and how they make you feel. Adjust your behavior and interactions accordingly (aka stop giving your energy away to online bullies or negativity).

To be clear, I am not hating on phones and social media (okay, maybe just a little, lol), but we have been given an opportunity to get back to the basics: to reconnect with and reflect on who we are and what we really want out of life. Many of us have more time on our hands than we have in a long, long time, and all I’m suggesting is that we evaluate how we are spending that time. Are you spending it watching other people live their lives, or are you spending it living your own? It is my hope that we all come out of this living a little more, watching a little less, and incorporating a few more phone-free days into our new routines. Idealistic? Perhaps. But it is my hope nonetheless.

Melissa is an experienced yoga instructor, life coach, and somatic energy practitioner. For collaborations or private virtual healing sessions, contact [email protected] or subscribe to her free YouTube channel by clicking here.