Self-Observation — A Primer
It’s Not What You Think
KTHT 15-Day Writing Challenge — day 12
The technique for self-observation — is deceptively simple. The practice is something else altogether.
Why do it? Self-observation is not just a tool for gathering objective information about all the parts of our personalities or ego. It is a dynamic living instrument with elements of transformation that belong to mysteries within the eternal present moment. The primary results of practicing this technique is uncovering essence (our true self of light) and allowing for the growth of essence into a force.
Who is the observer? Do we have a neutral observer able to look at our multifacetedness? Or do we float in illusions about ourselves invented from the fantasies of opinion?
Ordinary, we may think of “self-observation” as a mode of examining ourselves utilizing reflection and contemplation. This is a lopsided view of observation because reflection and introspection are mostly intellectually and ego-based functions.
What does it mean: “To beside myself”?
3 Centers
Since we live in a world of an overly developed top or a thought-based neo-cortex, reflection and contemplation rely heavily on thinking. We often forget or assume that our emotions exist. Sometimes emotions are mixed, contradictory, filled with doubts, fears, anxieties and self-judgments. When contradictory emotions present themselves, the intellect automatically engages and our bodies are forgotten or shunted aside. We forget or take the moving centers, chi, or the “brain” of our physical bodies for granted.
All three centers (thought, emotion, and chi/moving) come to be balanced through the processes of autogenic training and self-observation.
Autogenic Training for Self Observation
Autogenic Training was formalized by a German psychiatrist Johannes Heinrich Schultzas in the 1930s as a deep relaxation technique. “Auto” — commonly known as self and etymologically “-genic,” a word-forming element meaning “producing, pertaining to generation” is more apt for self-observation: this technique and transformational key to a higher level of Being that existed long before Dr. Schultzas formalized it.
This kind of training or practice allows our bodies — the neutral being within to begin self-observation. Our bodies hold of all of our good and bad habits without judgment, is the one who remembers/records all of our experiences (whether our conscious minds recall them or not), and with some training can remember better and faster than the mind or emotions. (Our minds interpret, our emotions attach feeling to body sensations.) A body memory is not always triggering or related to trauma. Body memories may bring joy.
Autogenic Training utilizes relaxation of any body part to experience presence. All spiritual practices are focused on practicing presence at their core.
What is the Sensory Feeling of Presence within the Body?
Relaxation and an acknowledgement of the effects of gravity on us allows tight areas or parts of our bodies to loosen. This, in turn, allows more energy to flow through us. Conversely, restriction, a self-protective automatic response to injury, shock, or fear reduces and stops energy flow.
The more we release and let go of tension in our musculature and skeleton, the more flow. Flow can produce sensory feelings: warmth, tingling, a feeling of energy in-flow, or a heightened perception of the body part, parts, or the whole of our bodies.
When our mind focuses on these sensory feelings, we can identify these perceptions as sensing.
What to know about Self-Observation?
Think of Self-Observation as a way of dispassionately gathering information about ourselves without judgment, self-aggrandizement, ego-involvement, and as a way to dispel illusions. Autogenic Training is the first step. This leads to a foundation of the neutral observer, which may be a first step in developing Being.
The best way to begin is by laying a foundation for the work. This means we start observing our physical actions in the everyday tasks we perform automatically. We all fall prey to these actions that may be known as “a waking sleep”. This kind sleep or unconscious process is a necessary function in driving a car. We do consciously remember or are aware of accelerating or braking. Physical actions are the basis for all emotional and intellectual processes including complex inter-relational activities with others because we occupy the temple of our bodies.
When we begin to use Autogenic Training to examine these sleep patterns, we may awaken a force that lies dormant. This is a way of remembering and what every Master calls “knowing”. Knowing is direct knowledge that does not rely on books or a formal education process. It does not even rely on the words this author is typing. This is a mode of self-discovery that is based on testing — a kind of scientific method applied to the experience of our physical actions. This is one way of accessing our innermost Being. Masters and Students have probed “direct knowing” for thousands of years.
An Example of Self-Observation
Pick a part of a task that you may do every day. It could be the actions of washing or rinsing a dish or locking the front door to your apartment or mailbox. These are sets of physical actions within each task.
In washing a dish:
- You soak a sponge and put soap on it. Or there is a basin with hot soapy water in it.
- You grasp the dish with one hand.
- And the soapy sponge with the other.
- And begin washing and or scrubbing.
- Once clean (noticing),
- You rinse it off.
- You place it in the drainer.
Rinsing a dish to put in your dishwasher is similar but without as many steps or physical actions.
In advance, you choose a specific action within a task. Let’s suppose its #6 above.
At the time of the performance of the task, you put sensation in the pinky finger of your non-dominant hand. Leave 10% of your attention there while rinsing off the clean dish. Take notice of your physical actions within step #6 without straying into extraneous thoughts or emotional reactions.
A mystery may be revealed through the actions of your slightly divided attention may discover about the physical activity. If you have any other dishes or utensils to wash, you may repeat the activity.
Schedule this once a day every day to begin. After a week or two its best to discuss this with someone who has had a seasoned experience with self-observation, such as a guide or Master at least at the beginning of this kind of work. Illusions and opinions can easily creep into the observation process.
Future of this Work
I have had the privilege of working with three Masters while beginning self-observation. This work eventually branched off into interactions with others with my body as the foundation. My body has been the centering for the neutral observer. All emotions and thoughts either originate in us or are transmitted through us. Human bodies make emotions and the transmission of thought possible.
A few times, in the beginning, I was “beside myself,” looking at the actions of my fragmented ego from a whole Beingness that was evolving within me. I was beginning to develop a permanent observer.
This is not easy work.
©2021 F.K. Ontario