You’re worth it

‘Self Love’ is not ‘Selfish’

How to practice a little more self love

Many a noble person run from house to house to help put out the fires of day to day living. But, when they finally return to their own abode, they find that all that’s left standing is the chimney and foundation.

The gaping hole in the ground and the ash and rubble serve as a testament to a sum of misguided efforts. What was really needed first was to take care of a few sparks, a couple of growing flames. Instead, they were ignored and a disaster now becomes a permanent mark.

Taking care of ourselves is not selfish, it’s necessary.

It’s all too often ignored to our internal destruction and to the impediment of some measure of progress we could have made.

If you don’t love yourself, nobody else will. Not only that, you won’t be good at loving anyone else. Loving starts with the self.

— Dr. Wayne Dyer

Loving yourself really is the beginning of everything.

Here are a few thoughts on how to focus more on genuinely loving yourself without feeling like you’re becoming an overly selfish or self absorbed person.

You Are Good For Caring

It’s often said that those who are loving and caring put others first and are often last on their own todo lists. Indeed, this is the mark of a true saint.

This can be seen in the life of a mother who cares for her children with all that she can muster. Or, a wife who cares for and supports her husband. In the process, however, she is left to waste away, losing herself, her identity, and sometimes her will to go on.

An adult child may care for an aging parent. This kind of environment wears on both parties. The child ages faster than they would have and feels guilty leaving the parent when they might otherwise persuade a sibling to take over the loving responsibility.

But there is a better way.

When we neglect ourselves, really, no one benefits.

We have to keep healthy mentally, physically, and emotionally in order to keep enjoying life. This facilitates for retaining the motivation to trudge forward.

As you become more clear about who you really are, you’ll be better able to decide what is best for you — the first time around.

— Oprah Winfrey

Find out who you are and learn what you really need.

If we become helpless ourselves, how can we then help others. This is why we will be the best gift to the world when we are our best self, inside and out, when we are whole.

How You Treat Yourself

So, how do you put yourself first without feeling selfish or self absorbed? It starts in the way you treat yourself, mostly the way you think about yourself.

The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself.

— Maya Angelou

How you talk to yourself, you know, self-talk, is an indicator of the relationship you have with YOU.

Do you think loving and positive thoughts toward yourself. Or, are you criticizing what you do and how you do it all too often?

Turn down the volume of your negative inner voice and create a nurturing inner voice to take it’s place. When you make a mistake, forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on instead of obsessing about it. Equally important, don’t allow anyone else to dwell on your mistakes or shortcomings or to expect perfection from you.

— Beverly Engel

Do you give yourself breaks? How about some time to sit down and realize that you are human, you have physical, emotional, and mental limitations. Give yourself a rest. Your body will respond. You’ll last longer with such a recharge.

When’s the last time you did something for yourself? Do you like chocolate cake? How about a walk? Did you used to go on walks but can’t remember why you ever stopped?

Life was intended to be enjoyable. Life was intended to be lived, not endured.

So, what do you need to do to show a little more love to that VIP you call YOU? Give it some thought.

Taking Back Your Life

How about learning to say “No” when you know you should.

Listen, you can’t solve everyone’s problems.

You’ve got to pick and choose. You have limits. You’re not a machine.

Learn to decline helping or attending to things that are lower down on the list of importance when some of your needs need meeting.

Let today mark a new beginning for you. Give yourself permission to say NO without feeling guilty, mean, or selfish. Anybody who gets upset or expects you to say yes all of the time clearly doesn’t have your best interest at heart. Always remember: You have a right to say no without having to explain yourself. Be at peace with your decisions.

— Stephanie Lahart

Logic can sometimes over power emotion, though it can be a coin toss. How about harboring some rationalization that can push you in the direction of self care when you’re feeling torn.

Remember that when you are happy and things in your life are balanced, you are a much better bearer of that Balm of Gilead.

You will bring a more individualized and miraculous touch to the life of another, because you have the capacity to tap into a keener source, a source that knows more than you can about the needs of others.

You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage pleasantly, smilingly, and non-apologetically — to say no to other things. And the way to do that is by having a bigger yes burning inside.

— Stephen Covey

You can only move within the confines of your own physical body’s bounds. You can only give of yourself to the extent that your emotional and mental state can allow.

Learning how to focus on a handful of important things can be the very recipe for your success.

People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully. I’m actually as proud of the things we haven’t done as the things I have done. Innovation is saying no to 1,000 things.

— Steve Jobs

You can only serve and care for others to the extent that you are able.

Self love is self care. If you don’t care for yourself, someone else would need to fill in that gap. Why not avoid that unnecessary burden and serve others by caring for yourself.

Parting Words

I know it’s hard. One of the reasons why I wrote this article is because I’m not the best at caring for myself either. But, I’ve come to learn that when we stop ignoring our own problems, we will be happier.

When we’re happier, we can light up the lives of others in wonderful and amazing ways.

Explore where you can take some small steps to care for yourself more. Create ways to begin to heal yourself, perhaps some wounds that need some mending. Tie up some loose ends. Resolve a few challenges in your life.

Do you believe in miracles? I do. Love can create the miracles you need in your life.

Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.

— Louise Hay

You’re worth it. You’re worth every effort you make for YOU. You are beautiful. You are loved.

Take the time to love yourself every sing day.

View Our Story or learn more about how to ‘Love Yourself’ better by Escaping the Daily Grind.

Check out the Online Workshop we recommend that will inspire you to love yourself in amazing ways by chasing those dreams of yours. (affiliate link)

Originally published at https://joshandsarahinspire.com.