Self Love is Not Selfish

Summary

The article emphasizes that self-love and self-care are essential for personal well-being and fulfillment, rather than being selfish acts.

Abstract

The concept of self-love is often misunderstood as selfishness, particularly in a fast-paced world where individuals are pulled in multiple directions. However, the article argues that taking time for oneself, whether through wellness activities, exercise, or relaxation, is crucial for maintaining a full metaphorical cup from which to give to others. It suggests that self-care leads to a state of being 'self full,' where one is energized, strong, and capable of contributing meaningfully to the world. The article encourages readers to reframe their perspective on self-care, viewing it as a necessary practice to be the best version of themselves. It cites the example of former First Lady Michelle Obama, who prioritized her wellness despite her responsibilities, to illustrate the importance of scheduling self-care. The article concludes by motivating readers to embrace self-fullness, free of guilt, to enhance productivity and peace, ultimately enabling them to serve others from a place of health and happiness.

Opinions

Self-care is often seen as indulgent or selfish, leading to feelings of guilt.
The societal expectation to constantly give to others can deplete personal resources, leading to a reduced capacity to contribute positively.
Reframing self-care as 'self full' rather than selfish can liberate individuals to focus on their wellness journey.
Prioritizing personal well-being allows for a more significant and impactful contribution to society.
The metaphor of a cup being filled to the brim and overflowing is used to illustrate the importance of having an abundance of personal well-being before giving to others.
The article suggests that individuals should identify and engage in activities that restore their mental, physical, and emotional energy.
The example of Michelle Obama is used to demonstrate that even those with significant responsibilities can and should prioritize self-care.
The article promotes the idea that self-care is a right and a necessary component of a balanced and fulfilling life.

Self Love is Not Selfish

Have you ever felt pulled in a thousand different directions and not had enough time to get everything done? Life can be busy. Even more overwhelming than the business of life can be a sense of obligation to many people, places, and things in our lives vying for our attention. It can seem SELFISH to take time out for ourselves to practice wellness, go for a walk or even get in a workout.

We may have developed a self-imposed dialog that tells us we should feel GUILTY for being so self-indulgent. And sometimes other people’s reactions, gestures, or comments can make us feel like we’re being selfish. I had a client with a family and a high-powered career who said when it came to doing things for herself, she would always feel a need to explain herself to others by saying, look, I’ve got to RUN and do this REAL QUICK. She was always RUNNING somewhere to do something real quick, get a massage real quick, get her nails done real quick, get a workout in real quick.

When it comes to my self-care, she asked herself why I am always running real quick? But when I do something for others, I try to take more time to do a good job. She said it was as if she was trying to say to others, Please don’t judge me. I’m not selfish; really, I’m not. When she explained this to a friend, her friend gave her this part of wisdom. Her friend told her to stop and reframe the language in her head. She told her to stop thinking of it as being selfish but to see her dedication to her wellness as SELF FULL. I love the wisdom in this statement because it gives us the freedom to embrace our personal wellness journey.

Self Love + Self Care = SELF FULL

Self full means taking time for self-love and self-care so that you can be FULLY YOU and live life to the full with a full tank of strength and energy. Living this way means you can be the fullest highest version of yourself. Live your purpose and make your most significant contribution in the world. Being so full means making sure your wellness cup is full.

You cannot pour from an empty cup. You are supposed to pour from the overflow of your cup. Look, think about a cup of tea. I’m British, so go with it. When your cup is full, some tea spills into the saucer.

Serve From Your Overflow.

To get to the overflow, you have to make sure your mind, body, and soul are filled to the brim with health and goodness. For some of us, our cup was empty a long time ago. We have to stop and fill it back up. We’ve poured out everything we have when we are not rested, not energized, not strong, or healed. We become a reduced version of ourselves. We are not operating at our best or making our most significant contribution. And in this state, you are not the highest version of yourself. You are YOU-ISH.

So if we’re running on an empty tank trying to meet everyone’s needs, we end up being less and giving this the opposite of what we were trying to do in the first place when Rested, Energized] at Peaceful from a wellness routine. We are successful. We are filled up, present, and powerful.

WHAT FILLS YOU UP?

What puts you at peace? What activity puts you in a place where you are calm, focused, and energized? That’s the stuff you need to be doing. So what’s the self-care appointment you keep putting off? Maybe it’s hanging out with friends, getting a massage. Perhaps it’s going for a walk, taking a personal day, and finally getting to that workout class.

I was once in a meeting where former first lady Michelle Obama was talking about wellness. She implored the audience to schedule their self-care first, not fifth. She talked about how she would become resentful watching her husband, President Barack Obama, make time for his workouts. But then she realized if he could prioritize his wellness with all of his responsibility, then she could do so. So, while she was in the White House, she began to make a habit of scheduling herself care.

First, she became successful so she could be healthy and the best wife, mother, advocate, and first lady she could be. Self-love is not selfish.

It is SELF FULL. Let’s live a life where we ditch the guilt associated with self-care and become purposeful about being self full, so you can be more productive and at peace so you can show up, Fill Up Your Cup, runneth over, happy and ready to serve from a healthy place.

You’ve worked hard. You deserve it, and you are worth it.