Self-Criticism Holding You Back? Adopt Tenacity and Embrace Learning and Kindness

Taking an honest and kind view of ourselves is a more compassionate way to succeed.

I tend to be a tad self-critical. Not in all things, only the things that are important to me. When I first began writing, the target of my insecurity was my writing.

My negativity around writing

With the encouragement of a friend, I began a blog at the end of 2018. It became a hobby for me. No stress. Easy peasy.

Along came my creative writing partner, who encouraged me to submit posts to Medium. I was intimidated.

I was a dedicated reader of Medium’s top authors, and I knew I could not live up to their expertise. They are one diverse, talented group of writers.

Who do I think I am? I’m a novice. You may have noticed.

I was bombarding myself with negativity: I have never taken a writing course, did not excel in English, and was unsure how to punctuate correctly. On and on, the bombs exploded in my brain. Yet my cohort, Meg, practically dared me to submit a piece.

Courage arrived

I clicked “Publish” on January 26, 2021 — for the first time — with trepidation and trembling fingers. My “serious” writing career was born with that baby!

Do you remember that exciting day you hit “Publish” for your inaugural story?

I now have 400-plus articles on Medium. I stuck with it and developed tenacity.

My judgments have diminished considerably, yet not entirely. Learning by reading the work and tips of experienced writers was a boon.

Also, acknowledging and reminding myself that I’m still a rookie helps ease the discomfort.

The best news is that without a doubt — curbing self-criticism has amped up my productivity. Creative ideas for new posts have been rushing in.

Do you tend to be self-critical, too?

I am now publishing five days a week, cutting back when family issues take precedence, of course. Plus, I’m enjoying the entire process.

Although I may be critical regarding my writing — I also love it. I love learning, the growth I’m experiencing, and the pleasure I feel after reading my work. And the pride that I’ve stepped beyond my fear once again.

Mixed emotions

Some of my articles have been read by hundreds with highlights, claps, and comments.

What a rewarding feeling to be acknowledged this way.

When I sit down at the computer to begin a new post, I can hardly wait to start. The ideas usually flow; my fingers are flying over the keyboard. There is not one iota of criticism present when I’m actively composing.

I’m falling in love with writing just as I fell in love with reading as a young child. I’m in heaven — for the most part.

There are times, many of them when I get stuck and not sure how to proceed, but I soldier on, and I’m usually pleased with the finished product.

When it’s time to edit, I see where corrections are needed: deletion, addition, cleaning up, and polishing take time yet are part of the process.

Revising can be unsettling because, at times, my self-criticism sneaks in; I doubt myself again.

The innermost belief for everyone I have worked with is: ‘I’m not good enough.’ — According to Louise Hay, author of You Can Heal Your Life and internationally known leader in the New Age movement.

I recognize that I have oodles to learn, and am looking forward to it. With more practice and less criticism, I will be successful. I’m marching on.

According to the website Good Therapy:

Self-criticism can be beneficial when it allows for acknowledging and assessing mistakes and failures or the cultivation of humility and positive change. But when one’s self-critical tendencies impede the ability to thrive, any benefits of self-criticism may be overshadowed by possible harm to mental well-being.

I will take this advice to heart and be kinder and more gentle with myself. That is not to say I’m unkind to myself or aware of the importance of self-kindness; it’s simply not something I practice enough.

In an interview with Oprah, Bob Iger, the Chief Executive Officer of the Walt Disney Company, said he believes in pursuing perfection, not to be more successful but to be better at what he does. He went on to say; that “perfection is not being perfect — it’s not giving up.”

Do you find that you are hard on yourself? Do you expect to be perfect? Long to excel at something right out of the gate?

I know I’ll improve at whatever I attempt, whether it’s writing, pickleball (my newest sport), or anything else.

With patience, work, tenacity, and less self-criticism, we may not be perfect, but we will succeed.

Theodore Roosevelt said:

Believe you can and you’re halfway there.

It’s in the moment that I don’t always manage to apply that knowledge.

Loving the self begins with never ever criticizing ourselves for anything. Criticism locks us into the very pattern we are trying to change. Understanding and being gentle with ourselves helps us to move out of it. You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens. — Louise Hay.

Shall we give Louise’s wise words a try?