Self-Care Does Not Go Out of Vogue!

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” — Buddha

Six years ago, a colleague introduced me to a friend. Let’s call his friend Mr. X. He was hoping Mr. X and I will hit it off in no time. We did not. My colleague’s friend had a complex. It would not let him maintain our relationship in peace; so many ‘off’ comments, some derogatory. It was habitual. One day, I knew this could not continue, so I called it off. He went ballistic. The verbal insults would not stop, and the social media attack was phenomenal. Ok bye! It was nice knowing you…

I couldn’t compromise my mental health.

Attack to my mental health has come in many forms. Subconsciously and consciously, I resist it when I recognize it. Mental health care is self-care. Previously, I have written about the latter and how that grows here:

Personally, I guard my mental health cos when it gets disrupted, everything falls apart. Sometimes, I do not recognize these attacks quickly. If I do, I evade it or take myself out of the situation. Different situations call for different measures. Generally, it’s easier to protect my psyche from danger than try to put it together when it falls apart.

I once had a housemate that had frequent outbursts. At some point, her outbursts were directed at me. It took my family physician’s intervention to realize I was in grave danger. My biggest confusion was getting myself out of harm’s way while remembering that my housemate was suffering. I moved out after eleven grueling months.

There are attacks that come in form of abuse. Abuse comes in many forms; verbal, emotional, psychological, physical, etc. Whichever it is, it leaves its mark. When I recognize it and can, I take myself out of the situation. The point, though, is I have a right to protect my psyche, even from a loved one.

I am one of those who knows that if you do not care for yourself, you cannot care for others. On that basis alone, you have every right to care for yourself and defend your mental health from harm.

Three years ago, I met a friend online with; incredibly charming personality, rather caring, and a brilliant conversationalist. One thing was off: temper. He would have a series of outbursts when upset. He seemed quite unstable with each bout. One day, I realized the harm that was being done and took drastic measures.

Mental health care is a very important part of self-care. How much you invest in your self-care would change over time as your circumstances change. As long as you have the awareness and take measures, that’s a start.