Selection from the Vaults of Fug: THE KILLING OF MONEY
Of all the artificial lifeforms Humanity has produced or bred from earlier natural forms , money is surely the most prolific & hence, from an evolutionary standpoint, the most successful. Indeed, as some ethicists have argued concerning the relationship between God & Man, here is a situation where the offspring may have assumed primacy ruling a weakened, enslaved creator with its oppressive whims.
Government money control programs, often treating the once valued pet as a now dangerous pest, usually try to spend money out of existence. A signal failure, for money breeds so fast that nearly every prolific beast has been metaphorically related to it, but this is natural law: any being with as high an attrition rate as money would of necessity have an even higher reproduction rate or soon face extinction.
Thus, like the case of methane producing cows one worries over the environmental effects of such large communities of money, considering the species’ prodigious consumption of resources — the effect of a high metabolic cycle requiring massive daily intake of energy & resulting in early death of individual money.
International Bankers Associations, organizations formed of recognized top breeders, have steadfastly opposed any regulation outlawing the most prolific & resource hungry breeds of money; breeds such as the distinctive greenbacked `US DOLLAR´, the pack forming `JAPANESE YEN´, & the easily trained but vicious & obstinate `GERMAN MARK´. Critics of the money hobbyists often use abusive terms like `greedhead´ or `suit´, noting class differences determine whether one keeps but a little stock of money as pets, or whether vast herds are raised, often allowed to wander wild despoiling unguarded resources.
Resource Advocates may recommend the spending of money, a method we have already seen is rather ineffective, but a smarter bet would seem to be a more vigorous tax regulation whereby excess money over that required to replenish the breeding population is collected under government & put to sleep.
A cruel eventuality, perhaps, but the time for debate is long past & even the most bright-eyed money enthusiast must admit that something surely has to be done!
This is a selection taken from the book of Weird Fiction entitled Vaults of Fug, available for the Amazon Kindle.
