Who is the Right Mental Health Practitioner for You?
I was 28 went I went to therapy for a trauma I experienced when I was seven
When life gets tough, the tough should get support. Unfortunately, asking for help is associated with being weak instead of tough. So, stigma discourages us from talking about support services as much as we should.
The first time I sought therapy, I was a therapist myself. Like too many therapists who enter the helping profession, I assumed knowing about human behavior and supporting others would exonerate my wounds. Instead, triggers rendered me too unstable to guide clients through healing.
I attended therapy just long enough to stabilize my life because I didn’t understand that I deserved to heal, not just survive.
I went to therapy at age 28 years for the trauma that began at age seven. I attended therapy just long enough to stabilize my life because I didn’t understand that I deserved to heal, not just survive. Fifteen years went by as my survival patterns wore thin, and I found myself in therapy again. I returned to the helping profession after 20 years. I have been on the healing path ever since.
What Qualifies as Help?
We have been asked to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps in a cruel world of oppression that often leaves us barefoot. So, we paint shoes on our feet and tiptoe through life, trying not to step on glass. We hide the callouses and apologize for the occasional blood from our barefoot misstep.
Getting emotional support should not be an experience of shame. People are encouraged to seek professionals to take care of their bodies. From chiropractors and massage therapists to dieticians and primary care physicians, the pursuit of physical comfort is encouraged. No one expects us to go through life with unnecessary physical discomfort.
We readily address addiction, suicide attempts, and eating disorders. But, hidden symptoms of distress are more often subjected to the dime store advice of family and friends.
The most relevant job the body has is to transport the brain from place to place. Furthermore, the brain’s functioning is of tremendous influence on the body’s functioning. So, the neglect of emotional health is irreconcilable.
In a world that overemphasizes “survival of the fittest,” the most significant concern we have with the mind is when it attempts to destroy the body. We readily address addiction, suicide attempts, and eating disorders. But, hidden symptoms of distress are more often subjected to the dime store advice of family and friends.
Adult survivors of adverse childhood experiences are told to forgive and forget and pray away their pain. War veterans accept hero accolades as emotional care. Overburdened parents live vicariously through their children’s achievements. While many health insurance companies cover physical wellness checks, mental wellness checks or services remain financially unaffordable and culturally unsupported.
First Line of Defense
Mental health professional support is the first line of defense after a quality lifestyle. The general public is as limited in knowledge about the mind as the body. In the same way that we seek medical support, we should be encouraged to seek mental health support. There are as many nuances about finding the proper mental health support as finding a medical practitioner.
Education
Depending on the area of mental health, a qualified person could have a high school education and a certificate only. For example, some addiction centers prefer to hire counselors who are recovering addicts to work with clients. Their certification does not require a college education. Nontraditional therapies, like reiki, also require no higher education degree.
With a master’s degree in counseling, individuals can open a private practice once they pass their licensure exam. They could be as young as 23 years old with little experience. A psychologist must have earned a Ph.D. to start a private practice. That means they have not only learned about the field but have contributed knowledge to the field through research. However, earning a master’s or Ph.D. doesn’t license a person. Licenses are granted by each state according to their criteria. So, a person who holds a license is limited to practicing within their state.
Expertise
Many practitioners have their expertise, just like doctors. If you seek general mental health support, you don’t need particular expertise. However, if you seek help for family problems, sexual trauma, or a child’s behavior, you should seek an expert.
However, “trauma-informed” is overrated expertise. People trained in trauma know how the brain physiologically responds to trauma. However, trauma-informed therapists often lack knowledge in nuances in areas such as childhood sexual abuse. They may be unfamiliar with terms such as “no contact” or “grooming” and unfamiliar with relevant resources and information to share with clients. When looking for a specialist, choose the area of your concern, not someone who claims to be trauma-informed.
Theory
Every professionally trained counselor has to adopt a theory. Be aware of any counselor who cannot tell you their philosophy of helping. When I supervised counselors-in-training, I continuously challenged their beliefs about their role as a therapist and definition of wellness. I wanted to make sure they could tell their clients information they need to make an informed decision.
You should know how a practitioner plans to help you address your issues and what you should expect as the outcome. Theories of practice determine the relationship structure between the client and therapist, the conceptualization of the client’s problem, the strategies used, and recommended length of service. You are entitled to ask questions about your therapist’s theory of practice.
People trained in trauma know how the brain physiologically responds to trauma. However, trauma-informed therapists often lack knowledge in nuances in areas such as childhood sexual abuse.
One primary distinction between practices is talk therapy versus nontraditional approaches designed to circumvent patients’ processing. Practices like EMDR, Tapping, and hypnosis have a component that requires the practitioner to perform a procedure other than speaking. The goal is to diffuse the emotional energy around trauma.
Even when practitioners perform a technique, talking still takes place. Practitioners use talk therapy to prepare clients for the intervention. Practitioners should be able to reasonably predict the client’s response to the intervention and be able to handle it. These invasive practices can heighten clients’ triggers if not properly executed. So, the amount of talk therapy before the intervention varies from client to client.
Cultural relevance
Every counseling program professes culturally relevant training. University brochures assert that degree programs prepare counselors to work with diverse clients. In reality, very few programs train culturally relevant counselors. Educational institutions are overwhelmingly white and Eurocentric in faculty, staff, student population, and curriculum.
That’s not to say that the client and therapist need to be culturally matched to be effective. If you do like I did and not seek help until you need to be placed on emotional life support, you won’t give a damn if the therapist is a monkey. However, depending on your specific concerns, feeling culturally supported by your counselor is essential.
The Worker Bee
No matter who you choose to work with, the work of healing is the client’s work. Avoid practitioners who consider themselves “healers.” That assertion takes away too much of the client’s control and responsibility. The work is yours to do. Never expect a practitioner to heal you, only to guide you into healing. Going to therapy is not a diet pill. It’s more like buying gym membership to improve your health.
Diagnosis
If you see a licensed therapist, you cannot be treated without a diagnosis. Unfortunately, the “wellness” visit is not billable by insurance. Therefore, your therapist will have to give you a diagnosis. Ask the therapist for your diagnosis. Make sure any labels or diagnosis that is assigned to you helps you understand yourself better. But, don’t get attached to it. The therapist should treat the person, not the diagnosis.
Getting a diagnosis is not required to receive help. This point is important to know. If you wish to seek help without a diagnosis, you will have to forego insurance billing. There are good alternatives once you take control of your treatment by paying for it without insurance.
Getting a diagnosis is not required to receive help.
Insurance coverage is extremely highly when you are seeking mental health support. Do not hand over your mental health to a system if you can help it. Paying for help yourself means you are in full control. However, you should choose a practitioner with even more care because of the lack of regulations. Make sure the practitioner has adequate education and experience.
Alternatives to Traditional Therapy
Therapeutic experiences such as equine, wilderness, dance, and music therapy are beneficial in relieving stress and anxiety. They are sometimes used along with traditional therapy but can be explored alone. These are considered experiential and are designed to get clients to connect to parts of themselves that have been abandoned or underdeveloped.
Life coaches are sometimes therapists who opt for a different type of client. They want to work more directly to mentor clients rather than sit and listen to problems. Life coaches are sometimes hands-off and do much of their work online and in groups. In choosing a life coach, do an adequate investigation into how the coach lives their life. They should be your mentor, and you deserve to be mentored by someone you want to model.
Empowerment partners are rare. The work is one-on-one, and we work with limited clients for a set period. For example, my empowerment program is 8-sessions. Each session has an objective related to empowerment. At the end of the program, there are options to continue. But, each client is invited to leave the process if they feel ready. Empowerment partners typically work with people who want to operate outside of the box. So, empowerment partners tend to use less traditional approaches to support clients. Homework is assigned, and lifestyle changes are encouraged. The goal is to heal better, not just feel better.
Getting Help with Your Bootstraps
Some relationships would be saved if we didn’t try to turn spouses and friends into therapists. The greatest spouse could be the worst listener. They are not mean. They are unprofessional. They should support your help-seeking.
You should seek professional help, whether anyone supports it or not. Time does not heal all wounds. Neither do therapists. So, you have a responsibility to yourself to figure out the best approach to address your issues.
Whether you choose traditional or nontraditional help, you should feel comfortable with the therapist and the process. Your healing journey may be painful for a while, but the therapeutic process shouldn’t make you question the ethics of the process.
If the therapist, coach, or partner hasn’t convinced you to trust the process, getting work done will be difficult. You may be better off finding a different type of support or support person. Not every professional is suitable for every client. Find a professional that is good for you. You deserve to heal.
References
Rosennab: https://readmedium.com/six-signs-you-need-a-life-transformation-cd9c16279026.
https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/