See Why Too Much Change Is Not a Good Thing
Learn to adapt and thrive through the unexpected.
Neither changing everything nor avoiding change is a good thing. Some people use change as a reason to propel themselves forward. They don’t take a step backward and let their lives be derailed, but actually grow during the transition. According to Psychology Today, 1 in 3 people adapt to change more successfully than others. While some people take a step back and fall to alcohol, drugs, and other vices, trying to cope with what was, other people make different plans and become wildly successful.
Notice, it’s 1 in 3 people who adapt well. What happens for people, more often than not, is they struggle when change happens dramatically or too often.
Can you relate with people who, at least initially, are caught off guard by significant transitions? Do you handle little changes okay, but big ones throw you for a loop? Changes cause anxiety and stress. On the other side they’re not too bad, but on the forefront, not so much. Once you’ve had a moment to breathe, you can act, and things usually turn out better than you could have envisioned.
Which group are you in, the adaptable group, or the group most people are in?
“It’s only after you’ve stepped outside your comfort zone that you begin to change, grow, and transform.” ― Roy T. Bennett
Change is good, so why do we resist it so much?
The Basic Model
We’re born on the first step of a staircase. We can stay there forever, or we can move up a step. As life changes happen and we grow, we naturally expect some changes to occur. We go to school and learn. We move out of our parent’s home. We meet spouses, partners, and move into our own place as we learn and grow. It’s easier to adapt to changes when they represent a life growth stage. Usually, these kinds of changes are welcome life experiences that mirror growing up and are the result of some internal change i.e.; you want them to happen.
Different Kinds of Change
How adaptable you are may prove itself in the kind of change that presents itself. If the change is an internal force, as above, it’s easier to navigate, but external changes are more difficult because they don’t allow time to prepare for them.
- You went to bed fine but woke up with a cold. There’s a big presentation for work, and you can’t get out of bed. Will you phone coworkers to notify them, or is it the end of the world? It probably isn’t the end of the world, but an opportunity to think outside the box a little more.
- You get married or divorced. This change has more severe effects. Your whole environment is different. You have extra expenses and have to learn to live together. Or, you have more expenses and less income. How you adapt is essential. You’ll likely have a honeymoon phase if you’ve gotten married, but if you just got divorced, you may be taking on an extra job and freelancing or seeking other jobs to make ends meet as you balance your new environment.
- You get injured. Let’s say you break a foot or leg. There’s a lot you can’t do, but there are many things you can do to adapt to your new situation. Hopefully, your boss is flexible and allows you to work from home, and you can pick up work materials a couple of times a week. Find new ways to complete the tasks you used to do easily.
- You lost your job. This is a big change. How will you keep paying the bills and enjoy the same or a similar style of living? Do you need to cut back on some things that aren’t essential? Maybe it’s time to start your own business. Search the internet for ways to make money, and make more money than you were making before.
Essentially you have two possible outcomes:
- This is the end of the world. Stress and anxiety go up. You have no idea what to do.
- What’s done is done. It happened and there’s no changing it. Look around at all the new opportunities. How can you make the best of them?
Too Many Changes
Sometimes we get too many changes at the same time. You just got married and bought your first home, but a spouse lost a job. Now you have a few significant changes all at once. You’re still getting to know what living together is like, and you’ve bought a house, but don’t know if you have enough money to make the mortgage payment and don’t have much savings either.
A monster of change is brewing when too much change happens too often and with unpredictability:
“Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change.” ― Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley, Frankenstein
Too many changes are not a good thing.
In most cases, life will go on.
The spouse left: Maybe he or she wasn’t meant to be.
The job is gone: This won’t look nearly as bad in one year’s time.
It’s time to do some introspection to see what to do next:
Who are you?: Have you changed as a result of circumstances out of your control? Identify what’s essential.
Where do you want to be?: What are your goals? Maybe they are different than before big changes. Where do you want to be now?
What does it take to get there?: Do you need new skills or to awaken old ones? Is it time to take an online class or get different education to do something new or the thing you always dreamed of doing? What do you need to stay motivated?
A self-assessment will help identify your priorities and actionable steps to make them possible.
How will you accept the challenges life throws at you?
“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.”― Paulo Coelho