Security Is an Illusion. Knowing That Sets You Free

There’s no virtue in playing it safe

Many years ago, I quit my full-time job for a contract position. There were two of us doing the same thing, and we were each under contract for a year. Once that time was up, only one of us would get hired on permanently.

Almost everyone in my life asked the same thing: “Why would you give up secure employment for a contract?”

They knew I needed new challenges, but still felt choosing security was the better option.

For my part, I figured having a 50% chance of winning a really cool position was a good enough incentive.

At the end of the year, I got the job.

My friends had good intentions. But staying in a job for “security” may be the absolute worst reason to do it.

Companies go bankrupt. Positions become obsolete. Organizations have lay-offs. A new boss can come in and make your life miserable.

Security is an illusion, so don’t base your decisions on it.

Most of us have had the experience of thinking everything is fine one minute then having our world turned upside-down the next. Maybe it’s a serious accident, a break-up from out of the blue, or a loved one diagnosed with a health condition.

In April 2018, I was at a friend’s, enjoying an unusually warm Spring day, when I got a DM.

It was from my brother’s friend. My brother had a heart attack during a 10-kilometer run.

He didn’t survive the night.

My health-conscious, exercise-crazy, exuberant brother died in moments in his 50's.

Nobody could’ve seen it coming.

For many months, I was in a state of suspended shock, which was followed by heavy grief.

You can mark your whole world as Before that Event and After that Event.

We know these things happen because we experience them over and over. But somehow, we always forget. Days become mundane and we’re lulled into this false sense of security. We think if we play it safe, we won’t go through anything negative.

Nothing I did caused my brother’s death. It was always going to happen, no matter how safe I played it.

If you think this post is macabre, I actually mean it the other way.

If there’s nothing you can do to safeguard yourself from pain, you are free to make choices for which you don’t know the outcome.

I don’t mean you should skydive without a parachute. I mean we can all take calculated risks that could potentially lead to excitement, challenge, growth, and joy.

No matter how safe you play life, you’ll still go through tough times.

In a way, that’s a good thing. If you don’t have to make your choices based on security, you can make them based on what gives you fulfillment.

We have infinite options when we untether from fear.

Every decision has upsides and downsides. Some choices inherently carry more risk. But no choice is ever truly secure.

So choose the thing you really want.

Recently a friend told me about a job offer she was contemplating. She loves a good challenge and I could tell she was interested. I encouraged her to go for it.

“People keep telling me I shouldn’t leave my job and my pension,” she said, clearly torn.

We both knew she was “past her expiration date” at that job, dreading going into work every day.

“Security’s an illusion,” I replied.

Her body froze. She looked at me.

“You could put twenty more years into a job you hate and still get fired,” I continued.

Her posture got straighter. Her expression got lighter.

“The only thing you can guarantee is what will fulfill you now,” I finished.

She took the job.

I like to think my brother would’ve been proud of me at that moment.

Sandra Pawula wrote a brilliant article on this topic as well. Check it out here:

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