Secure Your Own Mask First

A story of self-care and fighting the productivity urge in lockdown

A Small Act of Self-Care

Like millions of people around the world in these times of pandemic and quarantine, I am working from home. To help add structure to my day, I recently decided to walk around the block before starting work in the morning and after finishing in the evening.

It’s my new commute.

This small act of self-care has helped me to form a new habit. I now look forward to my little walks. I get fresh air. I see robins almost every day and feel happy. It is a small restorative niche before or after a busy day of Zoom calls and video-conferencing.

15 or 20 minutes every day to look around and just wallow in the habitual, as Irish poet Patrick Kavanagh advised in Canal Bank Walk.

“Leafy-with-love banks and the green waters of the canal Pouring redemption for me, that I do The will of God, wallow in the habitual, the banal, Grow with nature again as before I grew.” Canal Bank Walk — Patrick Kavanagh

Recognising the Productivity Urge

On one such walk recently, I realised I was feeling overwhelmed.

You see, there is a voice in my head urging me to ‘be more productive’, and I work very hard to temper it. Recently though, I have been failing.

The overwhelmed feeling came from this desire to be productive. Not only was I taking on new tasks and new learning, I was then beating myself up for not doing enough…

I realised: it was time for a reset.

I took stock. Over the last three weeks, I had committed myself to many new tasks outside of an already busy work schedule:

• Delivering a webinar on remote working
• Organising a second work-related webinar for a meet-up group
• Writing for Illumination on Medium (I already write for the Serious Scrum publication)
• Launching another Medium publication
• Speaking at a meet-up in May
• preparing an application for a coaching certification

All of these tasks were stimulated by the productivity urge.

I was overloading myself. Also, I noted with more than a hint of regret that many of these quests to be productive were putting undue pressure on others to be productive too.

It was time to be less productive.

I set about culling my list.

Forgiveness

Let’s be real for a second. There’s a pandemic out there. We’re all in quarantine. A lot of people have lost their jobs and even those of us lucky to still be working have all but lost the structure to our days and weeks.

News cycles are punishing. Everything takes more effort. Energy levels are low. Mood can be low too. It is not a time to overload: it is a time for self-care.

That can actually mean doing less. And that is ok.

I began cancelling things. I cancelled the webinar on remote working. My friend who was organising it with me immediately said thank you.

I postponed the second work-related webinar. Two work colleagues agreed it was a good idea.

Launching the new Medium Publication is still an ambition, but I am taking my foot off the gas with that. It can happen later in the year. I forgive myself.

I am also taking the pressure off myself to write at all. I still get huge enjoyment out of writing for Serious Scrum, but my inspiration is lower, and that is ok: it always ebbed and flowed. I forgive myself for my lower rate of publication. Illumination is a new project for me. I have no idea how much I will write here and, you know what, I forgive myself for that uncertainty as well.

Writing this feels confessional and unusual for me. It is not how I normally write. But it feels good. As I write, I forgive myself for over-sharing.

I hope others will recognise something in my story and perhaps begin to forgive themselves for doing less too.

Distraction

It’s probably fair to point out: I didn’t cancel everything.

The meet-up in May was a request from a friend and the topic is one I’ve written about already, so I’m going to continue with that. My friend did ask me this weekend if I was still ok to do it, and I had an opportunity to say no. For once, I didn’t automatically dismiss the idea of saying no. I forgive myself for thinking about saying no.

Also, I continue to be inspired to apply for a coaching certification. This is a long-term ambition of mine, and there is no time-sensitivity to the application process. I choose to take that pressure off myself now, and I also choose to forgive myself for taking my own sweet time with it.

I allow myself these distractions because they are meaningful to me.

Also, without the overload of other tasks, I can do these at a pace that makes more sense to me.

Moving forward, one step at a time

You do not have to be productive.

You need to care for yourself so that you can care for others. Watch out for the to-do list and that feeling of being a little overwhelmed. It can creep up on you.

Forgive yourself for taking on less. It’s ok.

Forgive yourself for your low energy. It’s ok.

Forgive yourself for your low mood or for those days when you don’t want to do anything at all.

It’s ok to not be ok.

Flight safety instructions tell us:

“If you are travelling with a child or someone who requires assistance, secure your mask on first, and then assist the other person.” (Source: Active Rain)

Self-care means that, rather than feeling pressured to be more productive, you might need to go out for a walk instead.

By taking on less and looking after yourself, you will put your figurative oxygen mask on. This will help you to breathe better.

First things first. Breathe.

If you can, cancel the things you don’t need to do right away.

It’s ok. You can forgive yourself.