Schooling in a Time of Crisis: It Pays to Finish

Summary

The author reflects on their challenging journey to complete their dissertation amidst illness, financial hardship, and the psychological stress of working in academia, while also touching upon the broader impact of such struggles on students during crises.

Abstract

The narrative recounts the author's personal experience of persevering through significant adversity to complete their dissertation. Despite facing severe health issues, financial constraints, and the pressures of a demanding academic job, the author managed to finish their work on racial identity and minority professional development. The essay underscores the importance of social support, mentorship, and resilience in overcoming barriers such as racism and white privilege within higher education. The author draws parallels between their own past challenges and the current struggles of students during the pandemic and a national spiritual crisis, advocating for recognition and support for students' achievements under these difficult circumstances.

Opinions

The author emphasizes the value of completing one's education, suggesting that the personal investment in schooling, despite hardships, is ultimately rewarding.
There is an underlying critique of the academic system, which seems to overlook the personal sacrifices and struggles of its scholars.
The author believes in the power of community support, including friendships, family, and mentorship across diverse backgrounds, as crucial to success in academia.
The essay expresses a strong opinion on the need for increased support for students and scholars of diverse backgrounds, particularly in times of crisis.
The author suggests that the challenges faced due to systemic issues like racism and white privilege in academia contribute significantly to the physical and mental stress of minority scholars.
A sense of solidarity and hope is conveyed for the current generation of students, implying that they too will persevere and succeed despite the ongoing epidemic and spiritual crisis in the country.

Schooling in a Time of Crisis: It Pays to Finish

For some reason, today, of all days, I thought about my dissertation. Like many, it took me several years to write. By the end of this long-awaited process, I was very ill. I had taken twelve weeks’ worth of sick leave: six paid, and six, unpaid. A few years back, I had returned from a grant fellowship in Africa and, upon returning, discovered I was unable to reacquire my old temporary faculty position. After over fifty applications, and several Skype interviews, I got a position as a visiting lecturer in another state. Now, I was on my own to finish my dissertation; no family or friends were nearby, and I was several states away from my mentor.

This full-time job was a blessing which granted me health insurance. I enjoyed working with graduate students in a field related to my own and meeting scholars from other universities. However, working almost fourteen hours a day — teaching three classes at a time during the Spring, Summer, and Fall terms, along with working full-time on my dissertation on my “off-days” — eventually took its toll. Four weeks before my final dissertation defense, which had been arranged several months prior, I wondered if I would make it. I had stopped working on my edits. Many times, I was too exhausted to sleep or think clearly, and would lay on my sofa, staring off into space. By this time, I was also broke. I had very little money left after not receiving a paycheck for two months. Unfortunately, this situation meant that I could not pay for the extensive editing that my dissertation so badly needed; I had written it in a moment of crisis, spending moments going back and forth to doctors, having tests done, and getting blood drawn. I soon realized no one would ever know how sick or financially-ladened I was during this process, only that I had finished.

And one long weekend, I did just that — I finished my dissertation. I hurriedly sent the graduate school a copy, after spending several years physically isolated from my alma mater. After my large-scale edits were approved (the grad school didn’t seem to care about the typos, but of course, they knew about the illness), my friend flew me out to N.Y.C. for a week of fun. I felt honored and blessed to have her friendship, especially since she was not an academic. Forward several years later, and now I am living and working in New York.

I now think about all of the students — K-12, undergraduate and graduate — who are trying to make it through this epidemic and the mitigating spiritual crisis in which this country finds itself. Just like myself, years ago, they are tired, broke, psychologically-wrangled, and emotionally and physically exhausted. But for every class, course, major, and degree they complete, we should applaud them.

I wrote my dissertation on racial identity and how minorities negotiate who they are in order to develop into the professionals they want to become. I discuss the importance of socialization and mentoring as a way for them to reach their dreams and aspirations. We all need to support all of our colleagues of diverse backgrounds, in all spaces, and all the time, but especially in academe. My physical and mental stress did not arise overnight; it was a product of the racism and white privilege that I had to endure in all of my years in higher education. I got tired. However, I was able to fight with the support of friends, family, and mentors from a variety of cultural, racial, political, and religious backgrounds. And each time, I got back up. And I finished. So will this generation.