Saying No Is Power. Saying No Out Of Habit Is A Weakness.

All the things I’ve said YES to, and what happened next.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio: https://www.pexels.com/photo/waiter-with-tray-working-in-stylish-restaurant-3769740/

A friend of mine is learning to say no. She’s become a little obsessed with it. I’m almost afraid to call her.

I have another friend who’s learning to set boundaries. She’s usually super kind. The last time we went out, she had an open argument with our idiot waiter.

It got me thinking. I’m really good at saying no and setting boundaries.

Like, real-l-l-ly good.

Maybe too good?

The master of “No.”

For years, I’ve been extremely careful about protecting my time and energy. I got so good that “no” was my go-to.

No, I won’t start posting on 47 social media platforms.

No, I won’t write an unpaid test for your project.

No, I won’t have a meeting.

No, no, no.

Every time I said it, I thought, whatever, another opportunity will come.

It’s great I’m so optimistic. But also, what if I say no to all opportunities that come?

You know that movie, right? “Yes Man”?

I’ve been doing the same lately. I’ve made it a rule to say yes to almost everything.

Here’s a list of things I’ve said yes to and what happened as a result.

Getting back on social media.

I registered on LinkedIn again after I deleted my account a few years ago. I’m surprised at how fun I find it now. People are easy to talk to, and I’m learning a lot.

X (Twitter) brings great opportunities for writers, and now, with the revenue-sharing program, that’s truer than ever.

Plus, with just a little bit of activity, I already got a couple of leads for my copywriting services.

Accepting unpaid tests.

Unpaid copywriting tests were a huge no for me.

Last week, I agreed to one.

After signing an NDA, the client sent me the brief for the test task, and it was for a worldwide F&B brand. I can’t say the name because of what I signed, but you’ve heard this brand for sure — wherever you are.

I did the test task yesterday, and I’m waiting for feedback from the agency. Even if they don’t proceed with me though, it was exciting to see firsthand how a top agency prepares the campaigns of one of the most popular brands in the world.

And it only happened because I said yes.

Publishing my novel.

I’ve been working on novels, on and off, for well over a decade. I scrapped my first manuscript when I realized it was beyond repair.

My second novel is doing a bit better. I have a complete first draft, and about half of it is at a second draft level.

A couple of months ago, I was reading an article about the best publications on Medium, and one of them was about fiction.

I thought, hm, maybe if I start posting the chapters I have and I get some comments, it would give me the push I need to finish the novel.

I started to publish chapters, and the response has been great. I have a few regular readers who love it.

People consume stories differently these days. By saying yes, I adapt.

One of my readers commented something about serialized fiction. I hadn’t heard the term before, so I Googled it. Guess what? There are a few platforms where you can post your novel (and even non-fiction) chapter by chapter and start selling your book before you finish it.

Exciting, right?

I used to think only traditional publishing would do. I wanted to be one of the greats.

Now, I know people consume stories differently these days. By saying yes, I adapt.

Starting a newsletter.

I’m kicking myself for not doing this sooner. I’ve been hearing the “start an e-mail list” advice since I first became a solopreneur 10 years ago. Why, why didn’t I do it?

I’ll tell you why. Here are the thoughts that ran through my head:

What would I even do with these e-mails? I have nothing to sell.

What if I stop sending newsletters? What was it all for?

What would I write in those e-mails every week?

What if I start repeating myself, and everyone figures out just how boring and silly I am?

I don’t have the technical knowledge to set it all up anyway.

Sounds familiar?

One person pledged to pay for my free newsletter.

I kid you not; a friend first told me about Substack in 2018. I started my Substack newsletter this year.

It’s been absolutely effortless! So fun and easy, and it feels great to communicate with readers on a more personal level.

I also love it when I get messages from subscribers thanking me and saying how much they enjoy it. A guy actually pledged to pay for it the other day. How awesome is that?

Taking afternoon naps.

Mommy doesn’t have time for naps. She also doesn’t have time to exercise, cook a healthy meal, write more, and go to the hairdresser.

Surprisingly, when mommy found the time for naps, she also found the time for everything else, even though technically she had less time.

Okay, enough talking about myself in the third person.

The lesson is simple: take the breaks you need. When you have more energy, you’ll feel like you have more time.

I’m listening to my husband.

Less fighting. More laughing.

I am NOT the type of woman who listens to a man.

My husband is also not the type of man who listens to a woman. We’re also pretty different in how we make decisions.

You can imagine what it’s like in our house.

A month ago, during yet another silly argument, I realized I was too tired of this shit. It wasn’t even that important to me (obviously, because I can’t remember what it was about).

I ended it. Okay, you’re right.

I’ve been trying to say that more lately, and you know what? It works. Less fighting. More laughing. He listens more, too. Me saying yes to him made him want to say yes to me. It’s how love works, I guess.

Final Words.

I recently wrote about how solopreneurs should limit growth. I’ve written about how the most successful people in the world quit often; they just know when and what to quit.

I’ve written a lot about saying NO.

And while I stand by it, I also invite you to keep making decisions consciously. Don’t say no out of habit.

In fact, if you want a change, try to learn to say yes. You never know which “yes” will bring about the change you’ve dreamed of.

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