Saying Goodbye to Online Friends
Goodbye yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
When an online friend disappears, you realize how little you know about them.
One day, you were joking in the comments, sending direct messages to each other, and liking everything they posted.
The next, they’re 404, gone AWOL.
You don’t understand.
“Is it me?” you ask as any narcissistic human would. But no, others — not as good friends as you were — have also noted the disappearance. You write to these other “friends” looking for clues about where your online bestie went.
Something must have happened.
They wouldn’t ghost you like this, not after everything they shared, all the private jokes in the comments, all the proofs of common interests; nobody would do that unless something had happened.
All these pictures and stories they posted, they were real.
Right?
You feel like they owe you a message, an apology, one last post, SOMETHING.
It’s the least they can do.
But wait!
Maybe they’re just hiding around the server? They got tired of you and, not wanting to hurt your feelings, slowly faded away, liking less and less of your posts and answering your comments with delays until they were nothing but a cloud in the cloud.
No!
Not them.
IT CAN NOT BE.
Your bond was too genuine. It wasn’t the bizarre case of the online grifter pretending to be someone only to make money. There was intellectual complicity. Something transcending the virtual world was going on.
Something REAL.
You were even ready to meet them in real life, but for some reason, it never happened. It’s not that they live on the other side of the planet or that they use a fake identity and don’t want to reveal anything that could identify the real them. It never came to the discussion because you thought you had all the time in the world and didn’t want to look like a crazy online stalker ready to doxx their heroes for obscure reasons.
It’s funny.
Your online friend could be your neighbors downstairs, for all you know. You never said hello or invited them for a neighborly tea because you were busy having real bonds, intellectual, superior, with virtual people online and because they look super weird and you don’t like them.
Your neighbor could disappear, and you wouldn’t care. Actually, it might even be an opportunity to take their apartment and finally invest in AirBnB.
But the disappearance of your online friend is heartbreaking, and you don’t know what to do.
At least for 72 hours, at which point, the dust has usually settled, and you are on your way to find a new online bestie.
My advice
When an online friend disappears, close your eyes, hope they’re safe and sound, gratefully recall the good time you shared, and send them your best wishes.
Because what else can you do?
I dedicate this story to all the online friends I lost or ghosted. Some are gone forever, some are lurking in the shadows, and some returned. May you all be at peace and happy.
More nostalgia:
