Santa Claus joins us for breakfast on Christmas Day
And we all enjoy a bubbly Indian Ocean swim — Wet & Wild Pussycat Tale
A Pussy Cat Tale
Lady Donga Diaries
Words & Pictures — Lady Donga
Meow 201
Vrooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom
A noisy motorbike had just pulled into the drive and woke me from a deep sleep.
Who could that be dear readers?
My pussycat paws parted the curtains — and there he was — that man dressed in red — Santa Claus had just arrived by motorbike to visit us!
There was a knock at the door — followed by a deep HoHoHo.
My human slave Seaspray D yawned out a couple of WTF’s (I’m still not sure what that means) before staggering to open the front door.
“Hohoho,” said Santa as he let himself in and sat down on the couch placing a big hessian sack on the floor.
“Well folks, this is my final delivery — your presents are in the bag guys — I’m starving what’s for breakfast?”
Well, I sat on Santa’s knee and gratefully chewed on a sardine he brought me all the way from the North Pole.
There was also a bag of Alaskan Pollock for us that was quickly put in the freezer before it thawed.
Meanwhile, Seaspray D was in the kitchen cooking Santa’s eggs, sunny side up — just how he likes them, served with fried tomatoes (from our garden — the ones I fertilize with my pussycat poo), and an avocado on sour dough toast.
Due to Santa’s type two diabetes — he does have a big belly — no overly fatty and salty foods like ham for him — and no sugar in his black coffee.
“Well,” Santa began — “I always enjoy dining at your Batavia Coast abode — my last Xmas delivery — and while I have heard that you have both been a little bit naughty, the overall report on your conduct has been….eh niceeeeeeeee,” Santa Claus said.
“Lady Donga — your pussycat charm stories have been adored by many pussycat lovers out there in Cyber Medium Land — and not just pussycat people I must say — so please continue to do your best — who knows…. Hollywood, Bollywood, Kangaroo hood might just give you a contract one day — so hang in there my sweet puss”.
MeoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooW — I cheered!
“As for Seaspray D and his occasional kinky innuendos — well — that’s Ok — just mix it up and disguise it best you can — and not too naughty…ok Seaspray”!
“I know you wanted an e bike Seaspray D, perhaps next year — you see, my reindeer all have Covid — hence the trip on the motorbike — and the motorbike would not handle the kind of big e bike I would love to bring you, HoHoHo,” Santa hoed.
“But you guys work well as a team — so stick together and always do your best — as I know you try to do, Hohoho, “Santa Claus Hoed.
Santa took a sip of his black coffee, wiped the bits of avocado that had stained parts of his white beard green with a serviette, burped and then said “Right where’s my Surfboard, my rubber tube, and my budgie smugglers Lady Donga?”
Seaspray D retrieved Santa’s swim tube and surfboard from the outside shed — while I grabbed Santa’s budgie smugglers from my closet.
Santa politely turned around and stripped off his red suit to put his red budgie smuggler’s on (brief underwear style swimwear that looks like the wearer is smuggling a budgerigar when worn — made famous by a large ear-ed Australian politician).
“Ok let’s go to the beach guys,” Santa said, surfboard under one arm, while he steered the motor bike with the other.
Seaspray D and I followed from behind all the way to the beach — where we enjoyed our swim with Santa who spent the rest of the afternoon surfing — in between chilling with an esky (ice box) full of special Santa home brew beer.
Merry Xmas — HoHoHo Everyone!
MeoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooW for now
Until next time
With Love — Lady Donga Diaries — © Meow 201–2023
