We Sacrifice Happiness And Others Steal Our Peace

Never let anyone steal your peace.

That statement above says a lot of things, in just a few words. It’s a quote that has a massive message within it. While it does give a mention to other people, it more importantly is about ourselves. I think it’s actually one of the most “self” orientated phrase that I know of.

I wanted to take a look at self peace, and the misconceptions that surround the idea of it. Invalid thoughts about how we need other people, other things, and all types of outside resources in order to keep sanity and survive is an awfully deceptive way of thinking.

Thinking that we need continuous validation, in many different subject areas is a sure fire way to set oneself up for major failure, and extreme unhappiness. Seeking happiness through this mixed up journey will likely become nothing more than long term frustration.

I can really speak on this a lot, from my own personal experience. I didn’t see the related problems until I actually started getting help for my mental health as a whole.

As I look back now, I see that I was a strong people pleaser. The traits showed up in many areas of life. I started to see the problem, very early in my mental health treatment. But it would take a long journey of self commitment to really get control over this entire thing.

I used to misunderstand the process of finding happiness and peace through my own self. I can look back and remember seeking what I thought was happiness in very negative and risky, ways.

The attempts presented, would quickly go on to nothing but sheer trouble. Yet I still assumed that was just the way it all was. In a very twisted way, my search for happiness used to often times cause hurt. It’s a sad way of life when the motivation to find peace and happiness begins a journey that ends up bringing me hurt and pain. All in the name of trying to be happy.

Even in a crowd, I could feel what it’s like to be full of extreme loneliness. In a crowd with people cheering, and talking, or yelling, I still only heard silence. Sometimes within that silence, the only conversations that I would actually hear, would sound quiet, muffled, and unrecognizable. Like a language unknown

After the same results year after year, I discovered that in order to change this repetitive negativity, I just had to seek out solutions. And I meant new solutions. Because my years of drug abuse, and falling into very negative relationships was going to do nothing more than kill me.

One of my go to topics for all my self help journey almost always involves Mindfulness. It’s a curriculum that brings me into this moment that is right here and now. It shows me how to do an overview of my own self, going further than just the physical body, but the spiritual and mental self as well.

The only person that we can seek and find true happiness from must start within ourselves. Finding that content and healthy way of life is a process that can kickstart all the other good things in life that can come after that.

I can count forever, just how many valuable lessons I grabbed along the way. When trying to decide which ones were the crucial ones, it is hard to determine, but for instance here’s a good one. Learning that I could not ever find happiness through others.

Sacrificing my own peace, in order to try to make others happy would never work out, and I certainly would never be happy, as a result of someone else’s satisfaction.

I often did things like that, and when the end result was lack of appreciation, that just amplified my depression and self loathing, more and more.

Spending all our energy to make others happy is never a guarantee. The same goes for love. I often would chase love, and that chase often brought sorrow.

In those examples, I was putting all my vulnerability out in the open, on my sleeve. It was a bit too publicized, and when the knowledge of it got into the wrong hands, I lost my peace. I can tell you exactly how it feels to be used, unappreciated, manipulated.

Happiness comes from within. Once that healthy peace can be established inside our souls, we can then share it and enjoy it with other people. Never sell yourself short if someone else isn’t happy. Don’t be a stepping stone for other’s negativity.

Michael Patanella

is a Trenton, New Jersey Author, Publisher, Columnist, Editor, Advocate, and recovering addict, covering topics of mental health, addiction, sobriety, mindfulness, self-help, faith, spirituality, Smart Recovery, social advocacy, and countless other nonfiction topics. His articles, publications, memoirs, and stories are geared towards being a voice for the voiceless. Hoping to reach others out there still struggling.