Ryan Gosling Said ‘Be Better Than The Gap’

Time for a new wardrobe

‘Be better than the Gap’ was a line from the movie Crazy, stupid, love. Jacob(Ryan Gosling)wanted to transform Carl(Steve Carrell)into a ladies man and denied him from shopping at Gap.

Gap was a metaphor for low self-worth because the brand is extremely affordable and well, let’s just say ordinary.

My family bought me clothes from Gap in middle school, and I hated it even at that age. Call it vanity but I always thought it was a clothing store for old people and little kids, or maybe I confused it with Old Navy.

Most of us are stuck

We’re a little salty from life, people aren’t more competent but yet more successful than us. Why do the good always happen to them? Why not me? We’re just as capable and put in just as much work. It’s not fair, or maybe it is, maybe we’re holding ourselves back, mentally, while they feel entitled to achieve whatever they what.

If you think like a loser, you will be one

I wish I could explain this concept a bit more, but it really is as straight forward as it sounds. You are whatever you think.

What you think you become, what you feel you attract, what you imagine you create

-Buddha

We can attribute people’s success to their talent, work ethic, determination, connections, intelligence, luck, or whatever. They do play a vital role, don't get me wrong. But if we have a poor self-image, then none of these factors can make the difference.

What would Michael Jordan think?

Michael Jordan is universally recognized as the ultimate winner, so how would he think in our shoes?

I set pretty unrealistic goals, at least according to other people. And whenever doubts creep in, I say to myself, what would Michael Jordan do?

“I can’t be a writer if I don’t read” MJ would say: ok, I’m gonna start reading as much as I possibly can from now on.

“I can’t be a top writer on Medium, everybody writes 1000 times better than me” MJ would say: for now, but I’ll get them one day.

“I will never get a book deal, no one will be interested” MJ would say: that’s bullshit, I’ll do whatever it takes, they can keep saying no, but it won’t stop me from trying.

Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen

-Michael Jordan

Everybody wants to win in life but the majority will stop when they hit a rock. I’ve studied the Jordan enough to know that, the more you say he can’t, the more he will try to show you that he can. Trade the Gap mentality for a Michael Jordan mentality.

Being alone is better

A piece of common advice for success is to stop being around negative people.

It’s not easy to do. If I just get rid of most of my friends and families today, it’ll be difficult to find a few champions to drink beers with.

So I hate it when people teach “if you friends are bums, then you need to some new friends” Yes I know that bro, but they don’t just fall from the sky or show up to my front door tomorrow and say “Hi, nice to meet you, my name is XYZ, let’s be friends!” it takes time to meet and cultivate relationships, especially if we’re looking for ambitious people like ourselves.

So, I’d say it’s better to just be alone in the meanwhile. No energy is better than negative energy. No support is better than being pulled down. If we can’t have winners around, at least not have losers around.

But who said we need to hang around them physically anyway, you need friends? Go Youtube some, listen to podcasts of successful entrepreneurs, read books of inspiring authors, surround yourself with uplifting voices.

Find a mentor

I currently don’t have a so-called ‘mentor’ myself but I’ve had some before, and it makes a world of difference. It doesn’t necessarily have to be your teacher, but having someone who has been to where you want to go, someone that you can go to for problems and answers, someone you can lean on for support, is a game-changer.

I really wish I can find someone to guide me right now, just in case I ever fall back to the Gap level and lose confidence, he/she can pick me up and reassure me of my worth.

Mentor: someone whose hindsight can become your foresight

I got sick of The Gap

I had a poor mindset my whole life, up till two years ago, 2018. To no surprise, my life was just as poor.

I immigrated to the U.S. at 11, and lived the most painful 7 years of my life at the home of an extended family, dragged through 5 years of college — then I graduated with no direction, working dead-end jobs. I moved across the country hoping for salvation, and nothing happened. In between all of those years were a lot of loneliness, legal troubles, altercations, and depression.

I took a trip back home to China at the end of 2017 and saw all my peers blossoming; doctors, startup managers, married, kids, buying homes, cars, moving to big cities. I was still living with my mom, working a minimum wage sales job, I was lightyears behind.

Once I returned to the states, I finally said to myself that I have had abso-fucking-lutely enough. I couldn’t live like that for another second, I swore I’ll go rob a bank before I ever sink that low again.

I told myself, I will live better than so and so, and I will never work a day job in my life ever again.

That mental transformation did in fact, shift my life.

I found other ways to make money I moved to a new place I bought a new car I got a hair transplant(finally) I meet new faces who gave me different opportunities I meet many new friends I meet my girlfriend on her vacation trip here from New York

I wrote a new year resolution list on my phone and achieved all of them but one, within the same year. When I changed my mind, my reality changed. My black and white life became colorful, and the way everything unfolded was semi miraculous. Because they didn’t happen gradually, they came out of nowhere.

That’s when I realized how much I used to think like a victim, easily defeated by doubts and rejections. No one ever showed me the way, no one ever taught me to think beyond my circumstances.

No one taught me that, sure I may only be able to afford Gap right now, but it doesn’t mean I can’t be rocking Versace or Armani in a little while. I deserve designer brands, I deserve love, I deserve an abundant life, I deserve more than what I currently have.

I would end by saying ‘change your ‘wardrobe’ to change your life’, but advice like this has been said too many times, not sure if it still helps you at all.

So I’ll say this instead; don’t shop at Gap, seriously, Banana Republic is worth the extra dollar. :)